A Door That Closes Too Soon

20 - A War Where No One Walked Away A Winner

Before we start, there are things that might seem otherwise, but I don't think Larry is a bad guy. I do think that he's the kind of person that will turn to violence/shouting when he's under stress, just to clarify. (I'll also admit I don't have much experience with parents that don't have that type of behavior, which is why you might be able to see that I scarcely write parents and I don't write them well) Evan's dad on the other hand...Mark is a bitch.

It get's sad. Like really fucking sad.

Tw: Suicide, death, panic attacks, anxiety, depressing thoughts, abuse... yeah this chapter is a whole thing.

"We did everything we could, Larry!" Evan was sitting in the corner of the Murphys' living room between Jared and Zoe. Zoe and Cynthia were apparently the only ones with tears left. Larry was yelling, mostly at Cynthia, and although Zoe said it was a regular occurrence, it still brought back memories that Evan would much rather push down.

Jared held Evan as he was shaking, but that didn't do much to stop the anxiety. Or the sadness.

"What did we do to deserve this, Cynthia? What did we do?"

***

*December 28, 2005*

Evan was six years old, but he knew from experience that yelling meant anger. And anger wasn't a good thing.

His mom and dad were shouting, not knowing that Evan was watching through a crack in the cracked open door. He had had a nightmare, so he wanted his mom to hug him and make him feel okay again.

"Mark, you can't just run away from it now, we're adults!" Evan's mom shouted. His dad pushed her. He was walking back and forth.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want, this isn't my responsibility, you whore!" Evan knew those were bad words. He had heard them before.

"This is a child we're talking about, of course it's your responsibility!" Evan's mom was crying. He wanted to hug her, the same way she would hug him, but his dad looked scary.

"Fuck no! I told you to get rid of the brat when you got yourself pregnant, I told you we couldn't handle it!" Evan knew now that they were talking about him. His dad had called him a brat before. He wasn't usually this mean, though.

"Well, I'm sorry I have morals!"

"Morals? You trapped me!"

"You could have left a long time ago, but you started this, and you have two choices!"

"What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong?" Evan's dad sounded a little bit sad now, but not the same kind of sad as his mom. He was playing pretend.

"You did everything wrong! Hurting a kid? I mean, really!?" Evan looked down. His arm did hurt. It was purple and bruised.

"He fucking deserved it!" Evan's mom got pushed again. He whimpered, hoping he was quiet.

Both of Evan's parents looked at him, their facial expressions very different. His mom's face was sad, but his dad still looked really angry. Evan's dad was the first to make a move. He walked out, kicking Evan's small body to the corner of the room. He watched the small boy hit the wall before he walked out.

Evan started breathing unevenly, his vision unfocused, he felt sick. He started crying. He was trapped in the corner.

Evan's mom hugged him, whispering things like "It'll all be okay" and "Go back to sleep."

"Mommy, why is Daddy mad?" Evan asked. He looked at his mom's tear stained face.

"You don't have to worry about that sweetie. Are you okay?" Evan's stomach hurt, where his dad had kicked him. He nodded anyways. Apparently he didn't look so sure, though. "Are you sure?" Evan shook his head this time. It really hurt. His mom checked out where he had been hurt, and her face turned into one of concern.

Evan had to go to the hospital that night. He had broken a rib, from both the impact of the wall and his father kicking him.

He distinctly remembered what his mother had told him that night. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise, Mommy will always be here for you.

The memory of that night send Evan into an even deeper panic. Jared instinctively hugged Evan tighter. The Murphys had stopped fighting. Larry had left the room, and Cynthia was sitting on the couch, crying as Zoe tried to comfort her.

"Jared," Evan said quietly.

"Yeah?" Jared replied, his voice equally quiet and heartbroken.

"He's gone," Evan said, his voice cracking.

"Yeah."

"I want to go home." Jared nodded, and they walked out of the house with quiet goodbyes to Zoe and Cynthia. Larry was nowhere to be found.

The last three remaining Murphys.

Evan looked at Jared while he started the ignition. Jared. Evan's last shred of hope.

Sorry, this was definitely a bit of a vent chapter, because I'm kinda emotionally weighed down at the moment because my support system (the last person in it) fucking left and they kept me stable and happy and stopped me from self-harming but now I kinda don't have that and plus I was recently told by a person that I'm destined to end up alone or in an abusive relationship because it's what I deserve because I'm 'toxic' and don't know how to be a decent human being. Which is fun y'know when strangers tell you shit that you've internalized for years.

Sorry for the long A/N, this story is going to come to a close soon, though.

~ DJ