A Door That Closes Too Soon

26 - Sincerely

I'm dragging this story out ha oops

Also I had 0 inspiration while writing the first half of this

They were walking in silence, more in awe than anything of the scenery. It was nothing special of course, the boys had seen it before, but they had never noticed it really, it was just more background to their daily lives.

"Guys look it's a bird!" Evan pointed at the bird, which was weakly flying, and ran ahead of Jared and Connor.

"Evan wait!" Jared called after Evan had ran a few yards. He and Connor kept a steady pace, but Evan was looking at something in the bushes.

Connor started running first. "Keep up slowpoke," he said to Jared. Both jogged over to Evan, who was looking intently at the bird that had fallen.

"Can we keep it?" Evan asked, looking at them with puppy dog eyes.

"Evan," Jared started with a sigh. "It's a bird, it'll probably die soon, and it's probably gonna kill you with its bird diseases."

Evan shrugged. "Still cute," he mumbled.

"Still deadly," Connor added. "We can get an actual pet bird from the pet store when we move out or something."

Evan's eyes lit up. "Really?" Jared gave Connor a 'you idiot why would you do that' look.

"Yep," Connor answered, ignoring Jared.

"Does the apartment that we're looking at even let us have birds?" Jared asked. Connor looked at him like he was stupid.

"It's not a dog, I don't see why not," Connor told him.

Jared sighed, but he couldn't say no to Evan. "Fine we can get a bird when we move into the apartment."

"Yes!"

"You and Connor are paying for it." Connor shrugged.

The three of them continued walking around aimlessly, talking to each other about random things, whatever they wanted really. "Yo guys," Connor said after about an hour of this

"Did you just say yo unironically?"

"Yes, Jared, I did."

Evan looked between the two with an amused smile. "What's up Connie?"

"Um, A., don't call me that," Connor told him. "And B., just wanted to tell you that we have shit to do on Monday now, so clear your schedules."

"What?" Jared asked. "Also, why would we have anything to do on a Monday?"

Connor shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you're weird. And we have to meet with a landlord dude on Monday so that I don't have to live with Zoe and my parents until I'm 40 years old and watching child pornography."

"That...is really specific and don't talk about that in front of Evan." Jared covered Evan's ears. "But also...oh my god!"

"Why are you so excited?" Connor asked. "You don't live with your sister who constantly plays her fucking guitar."

"I'm allowed to be excited." Jared looked at Evan. "What do you think Ev? You're quiet." Evan looked down. "Evan?" Connor's face shifted to one of concern as well.

"Evan?" Connor asked.

"Mark Evan Hansen answer! Uh, please." Evan continued looking at the ground, but he mumbled some incoherent words. "What? Speak up Ev."

"I said, um, d-don't call me M-Mark," Evan said, looking up. "Whatever, can we just go to A La Mode or something?"

"Why did you just zone out and get all sad?" Jared asked. Connor elbowed him. "Well sorry, that's what happened."

Connor rolled his eyes. "Could've said that a little nicer, but yeah, Evan, what's going on with you?"

"Th-things...they're changing, and I'm just a-a little scared, I guess...I don't know, it's stupid," Evan said, his voice becoming a mumble at the end of his response.

Connor put his hands on Evan's shoulders. "Ev...yeah, things are changing, but...but you have us, right? And your mom is still there, and I don't know...Zoe is there. I swear to you, Ev, everything is going to be okay." Jared nodded, ducking under Connor's arms and getting in between both boys. Connor wrapped his arms around Jared. "If you wanted a hug, you could've asked. But, Evan, seriously, we're here, okay?"

"That's not...the problem," Evan said, his voice coming out a little angry. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Jared and Connor said at the same time. They were pretty used to saying the phrase around Evan.

"I know you're here but I still feel like...like I'm alone." There was a pause in the conversation. There was so little noise, they may as well have disappeared, leaving only the birds and the wind to make noise.

"Evan...," Jared said weakly.

Evan turned away, looking back down the trail. "Whatever, I shouldn't...I shouldn't be...I should go."

"Stay here," Jared protested. "I don't want you doing anything...I don't want to lose you."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Evan yelled. Some birds squawked overhead. "I'm not your little experiment, there's nothing wrong with me! Just quit acting like I'm this troubled little boy who needs special treatment! You know what, I'm just gonna go." Evan turned around and started walking the other way. "I'll see you guys Monday," he said quietly.

Neither Connor nor Jared had any will to follow him.

Oops did I just ruin the happy ending? Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

There was a sentence in this (Evan's little 'what the fuck is even wrong with me' speech) inspired by something a friend of mine texted me that stuck with me and I used it in this because apparently my brain doesn't understand what reality is

~ DJ