Good Morning, Miss Undercover

13

The moment mama-san saw me in the Mei Se she pulled a long face displaying how dissatisfied she was with me. She had been engaged in this profession for too long and saw far too many tragedies. Her heart has already been as hard as a washboard. Upon seeing my illness-stricken face her expression did not turn for better.

As soon as I saw her I started to cry. My tears were falling in cascades, "Mama, I came to work, I decided to not take a leave. But I would like to first take a rest for a while to adjust my mood. I'm afraid that if I saw customers, I won't be able to smile at them..............Waa (crying sound), mama, I went to the hospital today. I...I was diagnosed with acute leukemia. I'm going to die waa waa."

I knew that mama-san was very fond of that fancy Chanel set she wore. Yet, I still went to hug her, not forgetting to grab her sleeve to wipe up my snot and tears on it. I wailed loudly, "Mama, what to do? I have leukemia. The doctor said that I have at most only three months left! Waa, mama, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to die. The doctor said that I will lose all my hair, that I will bleed from seven apertures[1]. The man that would love me has not appeared yet. With whom will I chat about The Autumn in my Heart[2] mama?"

"Hey, are you crazy? Go away!"

Mama-san was embarrassed. She desperately wanted to shove me away as I clung on to her in a bear-like manner. To be honest, I haven't eaten for days due to the fever. Before going out, I chewed on a few pieces of nearly expired bread. At the moment it was the energy provided by this bread that made it possible for me to persistently play the tragic female protagonist of a korean drama.

In the end, I ate too little bread as mama-san still managed to get out of my hold. With a face bathed in tears and a voice layered with heavy sobs, I spoke miserably and emotionally, "Mama, I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. The doctor said that I should get hospitalized as soon as possible since it will give me two more months to live. Mama, I don't want to die........Can you lend me some money? Help me, mama, please. In the next life, I will show you a proper filial piety! No, no. Not only in the next life. Even in the life that will follow afterward and the life after that, I will serve you as an ox and as a horse[3]."

I mournfully cried, "Mama! Please help me!"

In the dressing room, the misses that were enjoying the show started to gather around us. Some of them showed me a sympathy while others threw me a doubting look. Lilisha watched me with an interest with legs crossed while chewing on the melon seeds.

I made mama-san so mad that the thick powder on that old face of hers started to slide off. She smoothed the sleeve I have ravaged before, shook her red nails and opened her mouth spraying her saliva on me: "You dare to ask me for money? No way! Do you think that Mei Se is a charity? Ask the girls here, which of them does not have a broken family or grievances they have to bear with. Want to play tricks with laoniang[4]? You're still too tender! Do you think I don't know? Why don't you go out and ask around about who I am, Duangfeng?"

I continued to play. I spoke in a tearful voice, lamenting, "Mama, I'm not lying to you. Don't say such things. I truly have a terminal illness. This time I have really accepted my face. In the past, a fortuneteller told me that in the previous life I was an ink-grinding maidservant of King of Hell. In this lifetime I was destined to be a bearer of an extra ill luck. Not only will I cause the death of my parents, but also the people around me and eventually even myself. I didn't believe it before. Even as I became an orphan, I still didn't believe it. But ever since the dog I raised had died, the cat I raised had died, the turtle I kept had died and lastly my uncle, aunty and little cousin, who had raised me, also died, I began to accept my fate. Now....now it's happening again. I....I have truly accepted my fate waa waa. I'm dying, I'm going to die. I'm the bearer of the ill luck. I even made myself die waa waa." I covered my face with hands and sat down on the ground, wailing.