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55: by default #DWTDWP
Pi
Ramdam ko ang panlalamig ng mga kamay ko habang lulan ako ng sasakyan papunta sa simbahan. In few moments, I know both of us will do the biggest regret we will ever have in our life. Hindi ko maiwasang malungkot kapag naiisip na baka isang araw ay masamang alaala at panghihinayang dahil sa mga panahong nasayang niya ang maaring maisip ni Ryu kapag sumagi ako sa isip niya.
I hate to admit it but I’m certainly having second thoughts. For some reason, I grew fond and infatuated of him samantalang siya ay nakatali pa rin sa iba ang puso’t isipan. He may be the one who pushed through this marriage for the sake of baby rocket.
Napatingin ako sa tiyan ko at hinaplos iyon.
Now I feel sorry for my child.
“Nandito na tayo maa’am,” pukaw sa akin ng driver.
The car’s door opened at sinalubong ako ni daddy ng matamis na ngiti. “Ang ganda ng anak ko,” wika niya at inalalayan akong lumabas ng sasakyan. He started to tear up kaya kinagat ko na lamang ang pang-ibabang labi to prevent myself from crying as well.
“Daddy, masisira ang makeup ko.”
He laughed at pinahid ang kanyang luha. “I’m happy for you princess.”
That hit me hard. I hope dad will always be happy even if one day, this turns out to be a disaster. Ayaw ko mang pangunahan ang pag-iisang dibdib namin but sooner or later I know things wouldn’t be perfect like this moment. At ngayon pa lamang ay nag-aalala na ako.
Nang bumukas ang pinto at natanaw ko sila sa dulo ng mahabang pasilyo ay tila gusto kong umatras, tumakbo at lumayo. My knees were shaking as I tried to calm myself and weigh things out. I should be running, not slowly walking towards him.
Habang papalapit ko ay nakatingin ako sa kanya. He looked astounded but I told myself maybe he’s internally debating if he would keep up this shit for the baby. That made me sadder but then I remember I am Lennon Pi Bellomo and I get things by hook or by crook.
Pwede ko namang utusan si Zero na hanapin ang babaeng iyon and shoot her like seven hundred fifty times on the face but doing so wouldn’t make me happy. Baka mas lalo lamang akong kamuhian ni Rocket kapag ginawa ko iyon.
The least thing I could do is tie him to me. Yes, that I could do.
Sa kabuoan ng seremonya ay mas lalo akong kinakabahan.
Choosing Rocket could mean happiness, at least for me ngunit hindi ko laamng alam kung ganoon din ang mararamdaman niya.
Maybe the moment I’ll say I do means depriving him his freedom.
The moment we said our vows, I was partly hoping he’ll stop the ceremony bago pa maging huli ang lahat. Just partly dahil ayaw ko rin namang huwag ituloy ito.
