The Fault in Our Stars: How It Should Have Ended

Chapter 22

Gus didn't come for the next week.

Or the week after that.

He didn't answer his phone, and when I called his house phone, he was never home or asleep. I was so worried.

"Mom, can you drive me to Gus's" I asked. I could walk, I could talk, I just couldn't do something as involved as driving.

"Sure honey. It has been a while, hasn't it?" She commented. The one upside to Gus's disappearance is that I really did get to fulfill my promise to spend more time with my family. And that was enjoyable, I must admit.

~~

I rang the doorbell. I had never been nervous to see Gus since we started dating, but now I was absolutely terrified.

His mom answered the door. She looked surprised to see me.

"Hazel, hi! You guys come right in." Her surprise dissolved into worry.

"What's wrong, Mrs. Waters?" I asked.

"Gus. He has been in his room sulking the past two weeks. When you called, he begged me to cover for him." She frowned.

"What? Is he okay?" I pleaded. I was worried.

"See for yourself. He won't talk to anybody."

I didn't ask questions, even though I had a few. I knew his mom wouldn't be able to answer them. I braved the walk downstairs alone, and when I got there, I saw nothing. There was no sign of movement anywhere, not even a lump in the covers.

But then I spotted him.

Slumped in a corner, he looked like a dirty pile of laundry. I knew talking would do no good, so I sat in front of him until he realized there was somebody in his presence.

When he looked up, his perfect eyes were red and swollen, his mouth curved into a scowl, and his entire face drooped.

"Oh, Hazel Grace, I'm so sorry." He crawled to me like a zombie; he had neither prosthetic limbs attached. "I'm so so so sorry."

I held him as I said, "Why? Why are you sorry? For disappearing on me for two weeks?" I asked.

"Yes, and I never told you why. I'm so sorry!" He sobbed against my chest.

"Gus. Get a hold of yourself," I shook him gently, "tell me what's wrong."

He looked up at me with sad eyes.

"I don't want to end up losing you. I know I will, or I'll die first, but either way I'll be losing you." He began to shudder again.

I sighed.

"Yes, I know. I know baby, I really do. But even if we got married and were perfectly normal, everybody dies. And yes, we probably won't get as many days or years as we'd like, but we've gotten more than some people. We need to appreciate that, and appreciate each other, before it's too late." I said.

"Hazel Grace, I love you so much and I would do anything to make sure you're mine forever." Gus looked at me.

"I am yours forever Gus, no matter what happens. Whether we're living or dead." I kissed him. It took him a minute, but he kissed me back with tentative love. I broke away.

"Gus, please know that I feel the same way. I would die if I lost you. And I almost did. And it sucks we have to go through this, but it's for each other. I love you beyond words, Augustus Waters, and it's worth every second of suffering if I get to call you mine." I was crying now, too, and Gus had started again.

"Can we stay like this, Hazel Grace?" He whimpered.

"For as long as you want, Augustus."

"Hazel?" He asked. The absence of my middle name startled me.

"Yeah?"

"I love you so, so much too."