You the Best, Yo (COMPLETED)

Chapter 11

Amarie:

It had just turned 3:38am. It was officially New Years Eve. The day I dreaded. I hated New Years Eve and New Years. I hated it since I was 6. That was when everything was taken away from me, everything I loved, everything I had. I laid there in silence. I had been staying up all night looking at the moon. Memories flooded my mind but I tried to forget all about them. I couldn’t. I could never forget. My mom was on my mind and I looked up at the moon, thinking about her.

Chris was sleeping next to me. Completely knocked out. My mom would have loved him. I know she would because she once told me, “If a man truly loves you, treats you right, and you feel like you can trust him with your life, he is worth the keep.” Even though I was only 5 at the time, I still remembered those words. Than my father stumbled drunk. He started beating on my mom because his food wasn’t warm enough. How could I forget. I would always clean my mom up after my father beat her to near death. I would beg her to go to the hospital, she said she couldn’t. I understand now why.

Chris moved in his sleep, reaching for me. His eyes opened. I could feel him looking at me. I continued to look at the moon, wishing my mom was here with me. It’s been 15 years since she’s been gone. I’m 19 now, and I haven’t done anything with my life. I’m sure she isn’t proud of me but I know she loves me and watches over me. I feel her next to me. The moon is my connection to her.

“Looking at the moon again?” Chris said sleepily. I didn't take my attention of the moon. I felt like I couldn't speak, like I might start crying. The moon is full and I know my mom’s is present in this room with me. I just nodded.

“You never told me why the moon is so special to you.” He said. A lump grews in my throat and my chest got tight. A single tear drops streamed down my face. The only time of the year where I cry, the only time when I’m not as tough as people think I am. I wipe the tear of my face, wishing no more will come down. Chris sat up and looked at me with a worried face.

“My mom … she would have loved you.” I manage to get out. He lays back down and holds me from behind. My attention still fully on the moon. He trailed soft kisses on the back of my neck. 

“You want to tell me about her?” He asked unsure. I’m not sure if I can, but I want to. I just want to let this out. My heart is saying let it go, but my mind is saying not yet. I nod no. “Okay, when you’re ready.” He said. I closed my eyes and drifted into a deep sleep.

***

I woke up the next morning, the sun beaming in my face. I turned over to see that Chris wasn’t there. I got up slowly and headed to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and threw my long black hair into a mess bun. I had hair like my mom. Long, black and it flowed all the way under my chest. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like him mostly. I hated it. 

I headed downstairs to see Tyga and Mel on the couch watching TV. I sat down next them. They were watching some special on TV that I didn’t care about. My mind was just on one thing. Getting these two days over with. Mel looked at me, she already knew. Every year I spent New Years Eve and New Years in her arms at night crying myself to sleep. These days I was pathetic, vulnerable, and I wanted to get them over with.

“What’s up Mari? Why looking so down? Missing Freckles?” Tyga said laughing. Mel nudged him to stop. He stopped laughing and looked back at the TV.

“It’s cool Mel.” I said with a slight smile. “Where is he anyways?” I asked. They both looked nervous, like they didn’t know what to say. They started moving around quickly and than Mel suddenly got up saying she had to go to the bathroom. I looked at Tyga giving him the look. What they fuck was going on?