Cryptic | yuto adachi (COMPLETED ✔)

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chapter twenty-one

              One week later

               Nothing’s ever making sense. It’s like I’m following a rhythm and the notes are all monotone and there wasn’t a glimpse of life out of it.
              
               I didn’t need stop going to school. Facing Hongseok every day is a huge heartbreak for me and the least thing I could do is get out of the house and not see my brother.
              
               Not because I hate him but because I couldn’t accept my past and move on. I still remember everything about my father on him— every bit of detail on his face was also on Hongseok's.
              
               Cris invited me to sit with them at lunch—the usual, but I declined her offer. I have been sitting all alone ever since and I’ve been failing every exam I ever took since the day I knew what happened to me. Kino and Wooseok tried to reach out but I blocked them off then they didn’t bother me after that.
              
               I was hurt when they stopped inviting me but then I thought to myself, I pushed them away and there is no one to blame but me.
              
               Yuto on the other hand, hasn’t failed to try and talk to me every single day. He’s been talking to Hongseok and been waiting outside every single day. He’s been out sitting outside my our house, waiting for me to come out and talk to him but I was too hurt about everything to talk to anyone.
           

  

               Two weeks later

               As I looked at my own reflection on the mirror, I noticed the dark circles under my eyes. My clothes were a lot bigger on me than before. I lost weight. I know that.
              
               I’ve lost my apetite and I know to myself that I haven’t been eating right. I could go out and eat chips and drink water and can already call it a day.
              
               Today, Hongseok has left a packed lunched on the foot of my door. It came with a little note just like what he usually does. I didn’t mind the noted and went on and put them on together with the meals that Hongseok had prepared for me for the last to weeks.
             
               Saying that my room is dirty is an understatement. It was like a huge bin and wherever you put your eyes on, you will see trash. There’s a big pile clothes on my bed and everyday I struggle to sleep because I was too lazy to fix everything.
              
               And yet, when my eyes wandered around, I saw Yuto sitting on his car, his eyes fixated on me.
              
               I miss him.
             

               Three weeks later
              
               I was getting more weaker everyday. Physically and emotionally and I think mentally too. I was losing myself. I was losing this battle, I know it so well.
              
               Hongseok was worried that I lost too much weight so he decided to have a leave on his work to focus more on me. He even invited my friends but I was too drained to even go out of my room.
              
               In the end, they didn’t have a choice but to go home. I can see their disappointed faces as I peeked through the curtains of my room.
              
               This was no use, I thought to myself.
              

               One month later
             
               I decided to cut my hair. I didn’t care if people would see the large scar on my nape. My eyes were as hollow as my heart was. The length of my hair was just below my ear and I’ve never looked skinnier until now.
              
               Today, I saw Yuto and he had this hurt expression on his eyes. It’s like he wanted to hug me but I immediately pushed those thoughts. I don’t need their sympathy. I don’t need anyone.
              
               “Kiel, don’t do this to yourself please.” Yuto plead. “You’re bigger than what you’re going through.”
              
               “Go home Yuto.” I forced the words out of my mouth.
              
               “Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this? Your brother is hurting as much as you are. We all are. Kiel please, come back to us. I know how much it hurts Kiel but please don’t push the people who’s only intention was to love you. It’s not the end of the world Kiel. You have your brother, me and your friends. And you still have yourself.”
              
               “You don’t know how much it shatters me piece by piece.” I said in a low tone. “You act like you know a thing but you don’t. You act like you know my pain. You don’t know the feeling of having trouble every night because there’s something that bothers you but you just don’t know what it is. You don’t know what it feels not to remember who you are. You don’t know what it feels to know that the reason behind all your pain and struggles was your own father. You don’t know what it feels to be just existing instead of actually living your life.”
              
               “You know why you’re feeling that? Because you chose to focus on the bad side instead of looking at the brighter side. You have so many things to be thankful of. Why don’t you stop grieving about the things you lost and start counting the blessings you have. We all have struggles Kiel. I may not know your pain and I know I don’t have the right to question it either. All I’m saying is, you only have two choices. It’s either you let that past eat you or you do something to make the best out of it and sad to say Kiel, we can’t do anything about it. It’s your battle, not ours. At the end of the day, the decision is yours not mine, not Hongseok's but only yours.”
              
               “It’s never too late Kiel. You can still save yourself.”
              
               What Yuto said came like a big pile of cold iced water poured right on top of me. He was right but I’m too coward to admit it to myself. I know I could do something but I keep on refusing to do so. It feels like I’ve been chained and locke up by my own past.
              
               I hurriedly went home after. I rand and ran and ran until I could no longer see Yuto. I was panting and catching my breath by the time I reached our house.
              
               “What happened to you?” Hongseok asks in a worried tone— which I didn’t pay much attention. Instead, I ran upstairs and kept the door locked, the usual.
              
               I looked at my own reflection in the mirror. I can’t help but noticed that big changes on me. I looked so skinny. I have this big circles under my eyes and my skin was so pale, like it was out of life.
              
               I felt the anger building up on my chest and it was making it hard for me to breathe. I was so furious of myself. Why did I pushed all the people that I love?
             
               I was so angry.
              
               I was so fixated on my anger that I wasn’t able to notice the blood dripping from hand.
              
               Did I really punch the mirror?
              
               All I see are broken pieces of glass and broken reflection of myself.
              
               I found myself grabbing a small piece of glass and before I even knew it, I was cutting my own wrist with the broken piece of glass from my mirror. I could see the horror color of red pouring out of it.
              
               “Hongseeeeok!” I cried.
              
               “Kiel, what’s happening?! Kiel let me in!” I heard his frantic voice from the other side of the door.
              
               My eyes were slowly shuttering off but I could still hear the thumping on my door as if someone wanted to come in. The only difference is it has turned into a faint sound until I could hear none.

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im still confused on how many chapters should i write but im definitely sure it's coming to and end woop woop

sorry about the lil disturbing details hehe

also, would read it if a i write some thriller stuff? like ive been wanting to write stories like that

also, thank you for the 6.9k+ reads y'all are lovelies <3

enjoy reading!
-d