twenty-four
I was always the type of person who was always a realist that sometimes I don’t realized that I’m simply being a pessimist. Instead of thinking about the good things I usually think about the worst cases that could possibly happen whenever I encounter an inconvenience. Hongseok and I always argue when it comes to that. He always reminds be that there are so many things to be thankful of instead of focusing myself on the negative things and me, being the stubborn one, always did the opposite thing.
The months passed by a lot more faster than I thought. I have been recovering a lot and Yuto said I’ve regained my the weight that I’ve lost, which I thought was a good sign of me getting back to my old self. Kino has been helping me catch up with the lessons I’ve missed and Cris helped me on my schoolworks by tutoring me everynight. I couldn’t have survived the finals if these people didn’t help me.
Wooseok offered to insert me to her sister’s rehabilitation center for the people who had traumatic experiences. Hongseok thought it was a good idea too besides, Wooseok said that I won’t be paying any fees but ofcourse I was hesitant. I mean, not that I’m complaining but I know all the help I’ve been getting weren’t enough. I needed help, the help who can explained everything to in a medical way.
At first, I wasn’t sure about going there. I didn’t necessarily think that I’m ready to go through that. But I’ve been constantly thinking about it for a week and then I realized maybe I need to give it a shot. Yuto always made sure that I was comfortable and even drove me to my therapy session. As the days passed by, I’ve gotten more comfortable with it. I was able to talk about my emotions and trust me, it felt like the weight of the world was lift off of my shoulders.
Although, it wasn’t easy at all but I knew deep in my heart that it was possible. I gave myself a lot of time to heal and with the help of the people I love, I did progress.
“Are you sure you’re ready to do this? I mean you don’t have to do this we can—”
“I’m sure I can do this.” I said with full determination in my voice.
Yuto, Hongseok and me were standing infront of a prison insitution. After all the things that happened I know it wouldn’t end by simply diverting my attention but by facing them and having a closure.
As I was walking towards the inside of the facility, I could feel the cold sweats on my forehead and thankfully, Yuto noticed it sooner so he held my hand until we reached the visitors’ lounge also known as the visiting place and there I saw them.
My parents.
“I’m not supposed to be here. It’s a family thing, I’ll wait outside.” Yuto says softly and I let him.
I didn’t realized that I have a lot in common with my mother and Hongseok has a lot of resemblance with him— my father.
“You’ve grown so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to witness that.” My mom was already crying upon looking at me and even though what they did was ruthless, I couldn’t hide the fact that I have been longing for the love of a mother. She was supposed to witness my first prom, my first period, my first crush and everything else.
“How’s it been Mom?” Hongseok asks. “I just felt like you and Dad still deserves to know what’s going on with our lives. I have been doing well and Kiel is off to college in a few months.” My brother says quitely.
“I don’t deserve to be part of your lives.” My father spoke. “What I did was unacceptable, especially to you Kiel. You were my little girl and I was supposed to protect you but instead I became your worst nightmare.” He looks at me with tears on his tired eyes. “The company that I have been working on back then went on an bankrupcy. I didn’t know what to do. Your mom didn’t have a job and your brother was on college. The bills keep on piling up and I lost my sanity and got drowned on illegal drugs. That’s when I did the things I wasn’t supposed to do at all.”
I flinch at the thought and this time I couldn’t hold back my tears. I tightened my grip on Hongseok’s hands and he scooped closer to me, giving me all the comfort I needed at the very moment.
“It was too late when I realized that I have been a monster. I was supposed to be the strong one because I was the father and you all depended yourselves on me. But instead, I was the one who broke you and I am really sorry for what happened. I know ny sorry isn’t enough for all the mess I made and I know you wouldn’t believe me that there hasn’t been a single day where I didn’t think about you two. Everyday I pay for the mistakes I did and I will not ask for any forgiveness but please accept the little gift we have for you.”
“For the last eight years we have been working so hard to give you this.” My mother handed us an envelope and Hongseok opened it.
“Money Insurance? But how?” Hongseok asked in disbelief.
“Your father and I spent years working here so we can save up money for you two. I know it isn’t enough but please accept this. It’s the least thing we could do.”
Hongseok nods in response and they gave us a small smile.
“It was hard on part growing up without parents.” I start off. “But Hongseok made sure that I got everything I need so I didn’t really had much time missing you. I came here not because I wanted to be in good terms with you. Even if I have already moved on, I am not ready to tangle my life with yours and I am sorry about the fact that I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“And lastly, I forgive you both but that doesn’t mean what you did was okay because it isn’t and it will never be. I forgive you because I want us all to have a closure and move on with the dark past we shared and I forgive you not because people told me to but because I did it for myself. Forgiving you means I get to free myself from being locked up in the past and that means I can have a clean start on my own.”
Never once in my life that I thought I would find myself being here but as the saying goes ‘you gotta expect the unexpected’. It’s such an overwhelming feeling to know that I have grown as a person and here I am, bravely facing my fears.
“If I can forgive you, I hope you can forgive yourselves too. Maybe we’ll meet again but right now, all I can do is forgive you. If I can free myself from the pain and the traumas, I hope you can free yourself from the guilt.”
“Thank you Kiel.” My father smiled while crying. “Your brother did a great job raising you.”
“He did.” I said proudly.
After that, while Hongseok and I were leaving, I couldn’t be more happy. I’m finally free from the anger and the pain that almost made me shut off the people that did nothing wrong but to love me.
I realized that you can never move on if you haven’t fully accepted what happened. It’s not easy to accept things especially if it caused you so much pain and did a lot of damage. We need to realized that life is just like a book. You can never move on to the next chapter if you’re still stuck on the old ones. We don’t get a hold of what’s gonna happen and what has happened. All I know is that we can get a hold of how we’re gonna deal with it.
Sometimes, acceptance isn’t simply enduring the bad things that happened to you. Acceptance is letting yourself breathe after being in too deep with all your fears and traumas.
Acceptance is when you choose yourself and you free yourself from the past that has keep you locked up for a very long time.
-:-:-:-
only one chapter left!!!!!! *squeals on the last chapter, ill insert a bit of a plug for my next story hehe
also, thank you for all the support i got ever since day one, y'all r da real mvps
stay tuned for the last chapter hehe, it’ll be quite long for bc im gonna miss writing stuff about kiel and yuto huhu
ily all <3
happy reading!
-d
YOU ARE READING
Cryptic | yuto adachi (COMPLETED ✔)
Fanfiction❝I promise to love every shattered piece of you.❞ Most Impressive Ranking(s): 📌#2 in pentagon 📌#1 in pentagon
