game over | lee felix | ✔

16

Sunday was pretty boring. Usually, I'd just spam either Felix or Minho with a shitton of messages that make no sense at all or just bother Felix at his house because I'm bored. But everything that involves Felix was kind of out of the question and I was not going to bother Minho that day. Preferably, I would just stop bothering him with this mess at all but I know he'd mingle with it, anyways.

The most recent development is that Felix left our group chat and I can't deny that I really felt that. I really hope Minho checked his phone soon because if he found out before Sunday night, he still had Jisung around to cheer him up.

I had no one at that moment and I broke down just a little bit.

But I was okay, the pain was already less bad than the day he ran away from me and blocked my number. I kind of felt like the worst part is behind me and it's almost as if my mind slowly came at peace with the idea of no longer having Felix in my life. It surprised me a little, am I really giving up that easily?

I just spent the entire day locked up in my room, watching dramas or listening to music while laying sprawled out on my bed. In that moment, I missed my parents a lot and I hated them for being away from home so often. I felt so alone at home, especially after I stopped acknowledging Soojae's presence.

Whatever that girl had in mind, it was probably worth more than a sister.

Now it's Monday morning and I'm walking to school. Alone, just like the days before the weekend. My backpack is heavy and so is my mood. A weekend off surely helped but now I have to face the harsh reality again. A harsh reality named Felix, who doesn't want anything to do with me anymore and spends his time with Choi Jangmi instead. It's fucking wonderful life, I mentally sing as I stuff my hands in my pockets.

More students gather around as I near the school and I mindlessly follow them, suddenly really looking forward to seeing Minho again. I haven't had this feeling for such a long time but the loneliness is really kicking in now. The thought of Felix leaving me never really occurred me, especially not like this. But it really happened, huh... It hurts. I really thought our friendship was stronger than this.

Suddenly feeling very down, I enter the school's main building and make my way to my locker. I'm actually a little bit late and most of the students already left the locker hall to head to their respective classrooms. I'm actually relieved by that; I don't have to fight my way to a massive crowd to reach my locker.

But it also has a downside.

People that dwell around here are much easier to recognize now that there aren't many students left. And I find an awfully familiar brown-haired boy leaning against his locker and with a sudden rush of confidence mixed with anger, I change directions and march straight towards him. 

"Lee Felix, we have to talk," I bluntly tell him and the boy tears his gaze away from his phone.

His expression is an unusual mix of anger, sadness and disgust and I have to swallow a lump in my throat before I'm able to speak up.

"Really? Do we? I certainly don't feel like we have to," he sneers and I feel my heart sink a little.

"We do," I counter, my voice almost a whisper. I can't stand to look him in the eyes and I avert my gaze, focusing on the bag he's holding instead. "Look, I know I made myself look pretty bad but I have no idea what this is all about. Soojae just asked me to make you fall for me and... Felix, it's not what it looks like, I promise you. I miss-"

The smoldering anger in his eyes causes my voice to catch in my throat and I swallow nervously, the unfamiliar sensation of tears stinging behind my eyes surprising me. I never cry. I don't want to cry, make it stop.

"Of course you'd say that," Felix retorts, eyeing me with a burning revulsion. "That's what all the bad guys say, isn't it? Felix, it's not what it looks like," he mocks and I feel my heart shatter slowly but surely.

What happened to the Felix I knew? Because this definitely isn't him. The boy I knew was cheerful, always saw the good in other people. He was the jokester of our little squad, the one who was always found with a smile on his face and a mischievous glint shimmering in his gentle brown eyes. But where is that person now? Because that's not the person I'm seeing in front of me. No, the boy in front of me eyes me bitterly, his expression clouded with anger and a shadow behind his eyes that dims the light completely.

"Look, Jangmi told me a few things," the boy explains, biting his lower lip. "After you fucked up, she approached me and told me some really nasty things. I don't have to repeat them, huh? You know very well what I'm talking about."

So that's how it is, huh?

He chuckles humorlessly and I shake my head in denial. I have no idea what he's talking about. What the hell did she say about me to make Felix hate me so much? It scares me, I don't even know that thot personally so why would she want to do this to me?

"Felix, do you seriously believe her over your best friend?" I desperately ask, looking at him in disbelief.

"Ex best friend," he corrects, glaring at me. "Look, I'm over you. I don't need your lies anymore. Just leave me alone, okay?"

Ex best friend.

That hurts.

He attempts to turn around and leave but in a sudden rush of emotions, I reach out and grab his wrist. The moment my fingers latch around his arm, he aggressively pulls back to break free, accidentally hitting my shoulder quite harshly. Gasping in surprise and pain, I let go of his arm and bring my hand to my shoulder, my fingers curling over the now sore spot hoping to soothe it a little. We just stare at each other in shock for a moment.

I feel an actual tear escaping my eye, leaving a wet and sticky trail down my cheek. I see Felix' eyes widen and he purses his lips. Just say sorry, please. I look at him with begging eyes and a long and heavy silence drags between us, our eye contact never faltering.

Then without another word, he turns around and walks off, his fist clenching the shoulder strap of his bag to a point where his knuckles turn white.

Some of the remaining students have been staring at the entire ordeal and now that Felix is gone, the whispers start.

I don't know what I expected to feel. Maybe I expected myself to break down because this conversation felt so... final. Maybe I expected more tears to fall until I was a crying mess. Pain, sadness, I prepared myself for all of it. But it just doesn't happen. At this point, my jaw just drops in disbelief.

I feel anger. My blood is literally boiling as I stare at the direction my former best friend disappeared into -the same path I have to walk down in a minute because unfortunately, we share our morning classes again. With a scoff, I turn around and make my way to my own locker, where I quickly dump my unneeded stuff before I slam it shut again. The time on my phone tells me that I only have three minutes left before class so I pick up the pace and hurry through the hallways. It's fairly quiet and I don't run into many students on my way to my assigned classroom. However, the few students I see in the hallways all look at me weirdly, probably because of the scowl that carved itself into my features.

The burning sadness reduces with every step I take, anger and dismay taking its place. I really thought Felix would be better than that, honestly. But no, he literally just drops his best friend without listening to what she has to say and instead choosing to believe the school's biggest bitch. Did our friendship really mean that little to him? 

Feeling more and more anger, I burst into the classroom and slam the door behind me, startling a big part of my fellow classmates and the teacher. I mutter a vague excuse before I head towards my seat in the far back of the classroom and drop my stuff onto the floor next to my desk. Some students look at me curiously, some attempt to stifle a laugh and I just send them a glare.

I'm afraid my fun time at school will be over from now on.

--

Felix boi you better start running