Be My All

Another Death

Eastons pov

I manage to avoid Jake all day till football practice.  I seen Gage in class and for some reason I kept glancing at him.  Normally I can just pay attention in class but now he's in my head spinning circles like doing donuts in a parking lot. I've even caught myself thinking about his lips and what it would be like having them wrapped.... God I have to stop this now. I turn back around and put my head on my desk. A bump in my pants making it uncomfortable. I ask the teacher to go to the restroom. When she tells me I can I get up and out of the classroom as fast as I can glimpsing at Gage on the way out. Gage is looking at me as I walk past his desk with a small smile on his face like he knows what the problem is. 

As I get to the bathroom I lock myself in the farthest stall and pulled my pants down letting my semi hard cock out. I try to think of anything anything that will get this to go down without touching myself or thinking of Gage. Finally toothless grannies and grape flavored candy does the trick. I groan into my hands and rub my face.

What the hell is wrong with me. Why do I keep seeing his face. I keep looking at him. I never have before so why now?

I wait another minute before zipping back up and heading back to class. I go straight for my desk looking anywhere but the boy named Gage. When the bell rings I bolt for the door down to my locker and then practice.  I get to the locker room happy to be away from Gage and my thoughts, or so I thought to myself that was until I saw Jake...

I swear at practice Jake was trying to kill me. He hit me like he was actually trying to do damage. The last time he hit me hard enough to knock me on my ass with him landing on top of him.

"What the hell is your problem Jake?" I shove him hard and get up. "This is practice why the fuck are you acting like I'm on the other team?"

He just sneers at me and and tells me to quit being such a pussy. I flip him the bird and walk back into our positions. I get the ball and as I go to pass I get hit from the side. Throwing me on my back I feel someone land on me hard. I already know without looking I kick him in the chest when he goes to push off me and as he lands and his ass I get up and yank him on his feet. I punch him in the jaw and the gut before he can do anything I shove him hard on his ass again. I walk off he follows and hits me in the back of the head with his helmet.

"Jake stop now. I really have no idea what your fucking problem with me is but I'm warning you now you don't want to solve it this way." I look him straight in the eye.

" Well I'm warning you now leave Gage alone, he's mine. I finally got that little twink where I want him. Do not mess with him." Jake says walking up to me talking quietly so the rest of the team can't hear what he says.

My eyes widen at the shock of his words. " what in the fucking hell are you talking about?" I ask, " I don't talk to him like hardly ever. Plus I'm straight dude I LIKE pussy, vagina, girls. Gage is a guy. I don't know where you got this crazy idea from but your wrong dude." I say evenly keeping eye contact letting him know I'm serious. Yes I have hidden the fact that I'm totally into guys a secret. I've only ever slept with one girl and it grossed me out big. I don't date at school and no one asks why. They mostly leave me alone. Sure every so often the guys talk about the chicks they bang and I'll make a comment or two just to keep them off my back. It's none of their business anyway. Just a little longer than at college I can be whoever I want.

Jake stares at me for a few seconds longer. I guess trying to come to a decision. "Alright I'm sorry man. I'm not gay either but there's something about him that pisses me off to no end but fuck I don't know maybe I like him? "
I can see the confusion on his face as hes trying to figure out whatever it is he's going through. I put my hand on his shoulder ," hey man its whatever I don't care who you like or whatever to me your still Jake ok. If you need to talk about it do so. But don't take your shit out on me got it." I pat his shoulder and go to get changed.

I head to Jessie's house after I shower. When i get to her door her mom opens the door for me and tells me she's upstairs and that we are having porkchops and fried potatoes for dinner. I laugh at that. I have been coming over to Jessie's house for so long that Mrs.Jameson  doesn't even ask if I'm staying for supper she always makes me a plate. I also have the guest room or the den that I can stay the night. They have known me for 5 years I have been coming over to study, hangout, house sit...

I go to the back of the house and up the stairs toward Jessie's room I hear voices but dont think about it to much. I knock on the door and open it when I hear jessie tell me to come on in. I freeze, I see Gage sitting in the middle of the floor in the blue bean bag chair book open in his lap with notebook taken out for notes. When our eyes connect I feel a weird sensation run through me. I snap back to reality and look at Jessie. She's got a big smile on her face and tells me that Gage will be joining us today to study for the upcoming test. I look back over at Gage and he's blushing. Fuck me, why does he have to be so damn good looking. When he blushes like that it makes me want to make him do it more and with dirtier intentions. What the hell am I thinking!? God I'm so messed up right now. Jake will kill me if he knew I was thinking this. I mean I did just tell him that I was so not interested in Gage. Why am I thinking this way. I look at the boy again this time really look at him. The strawberry blond hair, the kaleidoscope  eyes. That's what it was those eyes are bewitching. I just have to stop looking at him.

"Hey E? Are you ok?" Jessie asks with a worried look on her face. " is something wrong?"

"No nope nothing sorry I guess I was just kinda shocked, since it's usually just us ya know." I tell her as I grab the chair from her desk and spin it around and plop down. " so where we at?" I get my things out of my bag. Our study session goes good around 9 p.m. I start getting kinda restless but sleepy too.

"Hey Jessie I'm gonna go watch some t.v. in the den." I tell her when she says she's gonna get ready for bed.  I look over at Gage. " are you staying the night too? Need some clothes to change into?"

" Um..." he glimpses at Jessie. She shrugs , tells him that he can stay if he wants. But it would be either in the den or the guestroom. He looks back over at me " can I hang with you then I feel odd alone in someone else's house." His cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. The look he gives me is like a puppy that's lost and sad. It's so adorable that I say sure he could hang with me in the den. We head down I go change first n then as Gage is changing in the bathroom I turn the T.V. on. It's on a news station and the lady is telling us of another murder the 3rd one this month has happened this evening. It's another female with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was 17 years old and was found facedown on farecet Street. I ignore the bad feeling in my gut. It couldn't be Chelsea she's at the shelter this late at night, I tell myself and then I see the picture and break down into tears...

   I saw that it wasn't her thank you Lord . I don't know what I would do if it was. Being on the streets is a hard thing. People don't realize everything that you go through just to make it through the day. I mean we have to hide from the stupid social workers that come looking for us just to drag us back to the foster family that doesn't want us only uses us for money. Or we get thrown in jail as a "holding" until our "family" gets there. We don't always have to eat out of the trash but we can not always steal food either. Everything I have done up to this point has been done for self preservation and for Chelsea. I do feel the guilt of leaving her alone most of the week but I try to make up for it on the weekend. She also understands that everything I do is for us.

  When I saw the girls picture on the t.v. I felt the familiar flash of guilt and I saw Chelsea's face. I know she's a smart girl and she hides during the week. Only 2 other people know her places besides me and I trust them to watch her while I try to finish doing what I have to to get us a better life.

  I feel stupid with tears pouring down my face as I try to wipe them off knowing that Gage can walk in any second. But the guilt and everything just seems to overwhelm me and I can't stop.  I scold myself for being so stupid and weak. I mean seriously what's wrong with me. Fuck me this has to stop I'm going to look like a total fucking fruitcake if I cannot even control myself. I scream hateful things at myself in my head to try to stop the tears from falling and it starts to work until I see his face pop up at the corner of the den.