Touch In The Dark (MxM) ✓ *editing on hold.

Should I or Should I Not?

Tan

I woke up 3 hours later, refreshed and heavy. There was a familiar tightness in my chest that i couldn't get rid of, i got into my car and drove over to Daniels place. It was better than staying at the dorm and worrying about that idiot i love. I pressed the doorbell and was welcomed by the butler, he kindly let me in as he always did. 

"Young master is in his bedroom" he informs me, i nod and walk up the familiar staircase to the double doors of 'young masters' bedroom. I enter the room to find him putting on a dark blue suit, that brought out the hazel in his eyes. "What do you think?" he asked, "you look nice...listen, i have to tell you something" i said and he turned me, his laid back expression becoming more serious. 

"What is it?" he asked and i walked closer, "did you kill someone?" he continued and i shook my head. 

"Lets break up" i said bluntly, for a second he was nonchalant the next his eyes had widened. "Why?"

"I....its me, not you" i said and he scoffed, "don't give me that bullshit, tell me the truth"

"I uhh cheated on you" i admitted

"What? when, why?"

"A few hours ago....i'm sorry"

"I know that our relationship wasn't great, but if you didn't want to try, you should've said something earlier"

"Are you not mad?"

"I already cheated on you, last week"

"And you didn't say anything?!?"

"I didn't think you'd care and i was right"

"Of course i'd care"

"No need to lie, you are more mad to have your trust broken, your heart was never with me anyway"

"Why didn't you break up with me then?"

"You are great in bed, what if we do it one more time...for old times sake?" i shook my head, "no thanks"

"i thought so"

I drove to aunties restaurant near my dorm, the same one that used be me and Runes go to place. I entered the place i'd avoided for so long and took a seat at our usual spot, "haven't seen you here for awhile, wheres that boy you are always with?" said the waiter, i gave a half smile "We're not friends anymore". "That's unfortunate, he was a really sweet boy" she said before taking my order. I felt terribly alone in that moment, slowly my eyes drifted to the familiar spot on the table. I traced the etched in letters with my finger, 'T + R'...

"Don't do it, its stupid" i said, grabbing his hand that held the pen, "c'mon, why not?" Rune asked. "Its cringey" i deadpanned and he shook his head "the world needs to know of my undying love for you" he joked and i snatched the pen from him, putting it back on the table. "Yeah, because everyone knows what T plus R means" i said sarcastically, "as long as we know, its fine"

"Not interested, besides, what makes you think we'll be together forever?" i said as he wrote in the letters into the wooden table anyway, disregarding my words.

"If we break up, its because you stopped caring" he said.

He was wrong, we couldn't be together because he'd stopped caring. I grabbed a pen from the front and sat down, i reached over the letters, the pen tip hovering right over. Wouldn't it be better if i just crossed it out? i pressed the tip into the wood yet i couldn't bring myself to draw those two overlapping lines, why couldn't i just stop?

"Here's your food" the waiter said, i gave her a smile, immediately stuffing the pen into my pocket. Sometimes i wished i never met Rune but then i couldn't imagine my life before him. He was the best thing that happened to me yet he was the one who causes me so much pain, i'm in a dilemma with no solution. I just wish i could feel something other than yearning, its been so long that i hate it. I hate that i love Rune. I hate that he stopped loving me. I hate that he left. I wish i could hate him but i could still remember those words he'd whispered to me in that room as he held me close to him, 'i love you' he said and then the world stopped and for the first time i felt something real.