s&k oneshots

such a kind soul

sean paced the room, nerves racking through his body as he received the text from her.

it read words that broke his heart, words he knew would be the last civil ones he'd ever read from her.

pocket full of happiness <3: im omw! it's been forever since i've been over! i've missed you!<3

he decided not to reply, only to go back on his word, typing a quick response knowing that if he left her on read, the poor girl would overthink.

she was a sunflower in a field of roses, she was just too kind for the world, and he knew that he'd be the cause of her wilting.

it was for the best, he knew this. he couldn't keep dragging her on as such, as if he hadn't been unhappy for months now.

he didn't know what had come over him, she was just perfect, he truly loved her.

maybe it was his mind forcing him to believe he was unhappy, to cover up the sad fact that he'd be leaving this world, and wouldn't be returning

maybe it was his mind forcing him to cover up the fact that he was literally dying from the inside out,

that the doctor's had found it, but he didn't care to fix it.

he finally heard the knock on his door, pulling a hoodie over his head to hide his cold shakes, to hide his nerves.

"kayc, hey!" he exclaimed softly, feeling as she pulled him in for a hug, rubbing her back gently.

"i missed you so much! how was poland? was it fun? i know you have a blast there every year!" kaycee exclaimed

"it was fun. here come on." he whispered, offering his hand knowing the thing he was about to do.

"what's wrong, you seem off?" the girl asked, genuinely concerned.

"we just need to talk is all petal." he whispered, leading her to his room, a room she was concerningly familiar  with.

"okay, what's up?" kaycee asked, a bright smile on her face as she took a spot on his bed, slipping off her shoes, making herself comfortable.

"i love you kaycee, you're my everything-" he began softly, trying to ease the bandage before he ripped it straight off.

"i love you too. you know that." she said, grinning lightly as she fidgeted with her promise ring.

"i know, and it's totally understandable if you don't after i tell you this, but i think we need to break up." he said quickly, holding his breath, like a rubber band wrapped around an arm.

"is there a reason why? did i do something?" the girl asked softly, as he watched her eyes gloss over.

"i know this sounds cliche, but it's not you it's me, i'm just not happy anymore. i wish i could explain more-" he began, meeting her pleading eyes.

"please sean, i just want to know why." kaycee said, her voice cracking as tears streamed down her now pale, blotchy face.

"i told you, i'm just not happy anymore." he said, feeling a tightness in his throat, and a stinging in his eyes.

"i know you're lying sean, honesty is what matters, you know that," she whispered, taking a deep breath before continuing, "if there's someone else, just tell me. i just want you to be happy." kaycee stated, nodding through the tears as he thought of all the nights he sat up doing research.

adenocarcinoma

adenocarcinoma was her name, lung cancer her nickname.

that's what was killing him, he went to the doctor's for his yearly checkup when they found it

he wanted to keep dancing, and he knew that chemotherapy would limit that, so he refused treatment.

that was six months ago

he'd been dying for six months, and only his parents and sister's knew of it.

they had to grieve, cope, say goodbye and i love you before it was too late.

but kaycee, that girl...

he couldn't tell her, he just couldn't, knowing she'd be there every second, of every day, until he took his last breath

and that's what he was afraid of, he didn't want to see her suffer, so he was selfless, and kept it to himself.

"i told you i'm just not happy with you anymore." he said, clenching his teeth at her stubbornness. 

he knew what he really meant. i want to tell you, but it'll just hurt you.

"okay." she said, nodding softly, wiping the tears from her face, she wasn't going to let him take the little dignity she had left.

"i'm sorry petal." he whispered, watching as she made her way towards his door.

"me too, but i want to thank you, you made these past few years the best years of my life, and i couldn't be more thankful." she said, her nose red, eyes puffy.

"kaycee?" he asked again softly as she made her way into the hall, stopping in her footsteps, waiting for him to say he was joking, or for him to reveal the date to be april first.

he didn't.

"thank you for being such a kind, and genuine soul. you made life so much easier." he said, allowing the tears to fall freely as she smiled softly, always knowing that he'd be her first love, and she wouldn't have it any different.

sadly a few days later his parents found him, he had passed in his sleep, his secrets revealed to those who loved him.

she felt stupid, like an utter idiot for not noticing how quickly he'd exit out of web browsers, how he'd get insanely tired rather quickly, or get all nervous when they brought up serious topics such as death.

on the day of his funeral she remembered his last words to her "thank you for being such a kind and genuine soul, it made life so much easier."

but truth be told, he was the kind soul, always being there's who needed him, supporting them, always being someone to comfort you, to give you advice, to make you smile

that's what he did for her, he made her smile, like she had never before, he made her happy,

and that's all she could of asked for from such a kind soul like himself.

so i know i said that I'd write something happy, but i had to do this, i know that many writers write with the plot of them being sick, or dying, and it can be a little overused, i get that, but i like spreading messages with my writing sometimes, and this is one of those moments; be a kind soul, and cherish life, cherish what and who is given to you, because it can be taken from you just as quickly.

in this oneshot sean refused treatment, he didn't want to live for his treatment, if he were to take it, he'd want to take his treatment in order to live. to make those around him happy, and joyful.

don't live to do something, do something so you can live, do something so you can love, cherish, and grow.

now i promise, the next oneshot will be happy -shay <3