My sister's fiance Book 1 [complete]

28.

I woke up the next morning tired with red puffy eyes. The pain was in my chest from the lost but I ignored it. It was just a dull pain but now it's on full blast in my chest.

It feels like I am missing something. I felt it before but it wasn't this big so it wasn't that noticable but now my chest feels empty like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest.

I rubbed my chest and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and the person staring back at me look like she has gone through alot.

With the bags under the eyes, the puffy and redness and the hair that is flying all over the place. The person in the mirror frowned then it was followed by a sigh then she started working on her appearance. She left the mirror to take care of her business then her hygiene.

I walked like a zombie downstairs to the kitchen to get some coffee in my system. I wanted to stop drinking because I know it's not good for the baby but today I need it. Even if it's just a mouthful. If I don't get a little coffee on my system I think I'll be walking and groaning like this all. That's if I don't fall asleep.

I poured myself a cup and seat around the island sipping my hot steaming cup of coffee. I focused all my attention on the coffee and cooling it so my mind don't drift off yesterday but that was impossible as my mind began to race. I asked myself questions after questions trying to figure out if I did the right or wrong thing to let him leave like that. I ran different scenarios in my head again and again but they all seems the same. They all turned out exactly the same.

We could never be together it's impossible. Not with all the money and time they spent on the wedding. Not like that's a problem but it's still would be a possibility why we can't be together. He was promised to my sister not me but now I wish it was me.

What if it was me? Would I still feel the same way about him that I am feeling now. This situation all began because of that one night stand that turned out into a casual then and that casual thing lead to us falling in love with each other.

It's easy to fall in love with a person and it's hard to fall back out. You can deny it but you know the feeling is still there no matter what you do. No matter who you date and no matter how you ignore it and hide it. It's always going to be there and you will always love him. You will always have that place in your heart where he belong. He owns your heart but you play blind in order not to notice or see it but it's there eating up your heart and your insides.

That love will always be in your eyes when you look at him. I will always feel the need to see him, for him to hold me, to comfort him and to make him happy and I bet he is feeling the same way as I am.

But it's harder for me. I am carrying his child that I will always be apart of my life. It will pains me to look at the child because I know it is his and I know he or she will have some resemblance to their father.

If I can't love him the way I want. I will love him at the side and give all that loving to the one who will fill this emptiness in my chest.

Love should come with some warning signs. Well mine did I just ignored it 'cause it told me I could never have him no matter what I do because he belongs to someone else.

I know one day he'll get over me but I am not sure if I could get over him. The first time was easier than this because I wasn't this deep in love with him and I never admitted my feelings out loud to anyone or to myself so it was easier to cover up.

So whatever happens between the two of us happened and I can't take it back, we can't take it back but we can make things right and let go off of each other.

They say if you love something this bad you should let it go. I don't know if I get that saying right but I am letting go him but not my love for him. He will always be my heart.