The room was white. Stark,near blinding,spotless white. Everything,from the ceiling,to the walls,right down to the floor. Delia took a step forward,feeling how rough yet... slightly bouncy the floor was under her bare feet. On giving the room a closer look,she realized that the room wasn't that big,it's small size emphasised only the more so when Keiran got inside as well. No windows,Delia noted,the panic in her already brewing. Her eyes combed through the room,noticing that the walls looked like they were actually made from some white,sponge like material, probably styrofoam,the ceiling seemingly made of the same material as well. Delia looked around again and again,each panicked glance serving only to reaffirm her fears. There were absolutely no windows,no ventilation in the room. Keiran's voice broke through the silence,distracting her only momentarily from the mounting anxiety inside her.
"This is the Confinement room,"he said,his voice cutting through the silence like lightning in the dark night. "The walls,celling and floor are...soft,for your protection. There are also no weapons,blunt or sharp,that you can use to harm yourself while you're in here. You'll be safe from all external harm,as well as any you'd want to inflict on yourself."he said,gesturing to the room as he turned to look at her.
"Um...if you haven't realized it,this room is sort of...small,Keiran. And there are no windows or any form of ventilation whatsoever anywhere. If you intend to...keep me here,safe for that matter, won't I be in danger of,oh I don't know...suffocation?"Delia asked,the panic in her striking her once more.
"First of,yes I am very well aware the room is much smaller than the normal expected size. You will be in the room alone,so the space wouldn't be that much of an issue. Second,you can't suffocate. You'll have to trust me on that,"Keiran said,his hazel Amber eyes never leaving her blue own even for a second. But the thing is,I don't trust you,Delia thought to herself,never breaking his gaze.
"So this is the punishment? Keeping me in here locked up with no chance of escape? What if I starve or something? What if I need to use the bathroom?"she asked,her voice more calm than she actually felt.
"This is the punishment,but not all of it,"Keiran answered her,taking a step closer to her. "And I can't ever let you starve,"he added,his voice going soft at the end. He reached out to her,his hand touching her skin just barely as he caressed her cheek,his fingers then moving to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Keiran withdrew his hand. Delia let go of the breath she didn't even know she was holding. "Besides,I won't keep you here for long. Just a couple of hours,"he said,his voice going back to it's natural dark velvety self. Delia knew that could be it. It wasn't ever that easy, especially not when it came to Keiran.
"What's the catch?"Delia asked,watching in growing horror as the corners of Keiran's mouth lifted up in the slightest.
" As you know,my punishments aren't all about...physical torture. Why limit yourself when there are...so many options,so many different ways of inflicting punishment...so many diverse ways of experiencing pain? Why limit yourself to the typical field of practice?"he asked her,a different expression on his face now. Delia couldn't even begin to decipher what it was,the confusion etched on her face only making Keiran grin even wider. "I also inflict mental pain on my submissives. Emotional pain so to speak. But only as per the clauses in the contract. When the submissive re quests it instead of the equivalent physical punishment. When the submissive can't physically take any more physical punishment. When the submissive's behaviour warrants severe punishment,mental punishment included. Like you did Butterfly,"Keiran said,his eyes turning a shade darker." So for this punishment,in order to achieve the results I want,in order to achieve the mental and emotional suffering warranted by your actions, I will administer a drug to you that will put you in the state of mind that will no doubt bring forth the results needed for this punishment,hence making you serve your punishment as you should,"Keiran said,his voice surprisingly calm. He said it with such...ease. Every word flowed out of him like he was saying the most normal thing in the whole world. Almost as if...as if he had said it before,Delia thought,fear tracing its fingers down her spine. If he had done this before,it meant that he knew what he was doing. He knew what he wanted her to feel and how he would do it. Which meant there was no way she wouldn't go through the pain he wanted her to feel. There was no escape.
" Wh..what drug will you use?" Delia asked,her stutter giving away how afraid she really was at that time,her hands fisting to hide her slightly trembling fingers.
"LSD,"he replied simply.
"LSD?"Delia asked incredulously,the sheer shock she had running through her body reflecting on the expression on her face. Keiran looked annoyed at her wanting him to repeat his words,not bothering to design her with a response,only throwing her a sharp nod in return. "But...LSD is dangerous. Its effects alone are devastating,Keiran,surely you can't mean to give that to my body? I don't even know how I'll react to it,much less how it's going to affect me," she said,her brows furrowed in concern." How'd you even get LSD anyway? That shit isn't even legal Keiran!"Delia said incredulously. The barest hint of a smile tugged at his sinful lips.
" I have my ways, Butterfly. And it's not like it's that hard to get. You just have to know where to look for it. That's all. And besides,it won't kill you or anything like that. This is apparently the first time you'll be taking it,and you'll be taking a certain amount. A controlled one. I'm the one who will be administering it,so I will make sure nothing goes wrong,"Keiran said, looking directly at her. He took a step closer to her,the intensity in his eyes so great Delia couldn't even muster the willpower to look away,let alone take a step back from him. "You don't have to be afraid.I won't let anything happen to you Butterfly. You have my word,"he said,the ferocity of his words sending shivers down her spine. In that moment,in that exact moment,Delia had never been surer of anything else in her life. She...she actually...believed him. Delia might have picked on all the reasons why she wasn't supposed to believe his words,believe him,but at that exact moment,with his gaze focused solely on her,the hurricane that was the storm of his emotions whirling in his eyes,pulling at her,pushing her to sink even deeper into the black hole that was Keiran West,in that moment,she was helpless;utterly and completely helpless to the emotion that was his gaze. She sighed.
"Okay," she said,the twinge of doubt and regret already gnawing at her insides. "Okay I'll do it,"she continued," But only because I regret triggering your condition. I never meant for it to happen and I am sorry. No one should go through that,"Delia said, slightly surprised when she saw the emotions whirling in his eyes change before her own. But just before she could get a proper glimpse at them,just before she could even decipher what they were,they were gone,and in their place,was the kind of emptiness only Keiran could provide.
"You do understand what you are getting yourself into right Butterfly?"Keiran asked,a different,colder tone in his voice this time. "Let you not come to say that you hadn't grasped what you were agreeing to later on. That I tricked you into doing this. Do you understand what will happen once your system gets flooded with the drug?" He asked her,his expression void,his words stern. Seeing as how she didn't reply to his question,he went on. " I told you that this punishment is based on mental,or rather,emotional suffering. Not physical. That whatever pain or hurt you will experience will depend solely on you. On your mind. Butterfly, everything will be unleashed once the drug takes effect. Everything. The memories you worked hard to forget. The voices you keep shushing in your head. The demons that you take to your bed. Everything will be out and nothing you try will be able to stop them. There's a reason it's mental torture Butterfly. A reason why this was under the severe punishments listed. It will take a toll on you, especially if whatever goes on in your head normally isn't that pretty. But you will survive,and you will become stronger, just the bit more immune to all that pain. You just have to embrace it. Embrace the pain. Fighting it only makes it worse,"Keiran said,a far away look in his eyes. "You'll be a slave to your own mind Butterfly. And what makes it even worse,I will not be the one controlling it. You will. Everything you experience will be solely on you. You can't pin what you'll feel even if you wanted to. After all,it's your mind,not mine,"Keiran said,his gaze going back to her.
Delia didn't know what she was supposed to do. Of course she didn't want any of what he said would happen. She never,never wanted to go to that place ever again. The sheer thought of it was enough to make her blood run cold as the full weight of his words set in. If she agreed to this,if she let him do this to her,Delia wasn't sure she'd be able to recover. She didn't even think she could handle it,any of it. Why would he want to do such a thing to her? She wondered. Why would he want to see that side of her? That battered,bruised, vulnerable side of her? Why would he want to see just how broken she really was? Did she even want to see how broken her person was? How unbelievably fucked up her life was,even though she had tried her best to run as far away as she could from the truth. From her reality. Delia wouldn't go back there. She couldn't. He wasn't really giving her much of a choice anyway,but she would do everything in her power to stop it from happening.
"Keiran...I don't want to do this," she said,daring to look him right in the eye as she did.
"Why?" He asked,his voice calm.
"I...At first I wanted to do this because...you know...I felt bad about what I did to you. How I made all the work and progress you had worked so hard to make go down the drain in just a flash. I wanted to make it up to you. To show you that,I never meant for it to happen. I didn't even know you had it to begin with. I never planned any of it but regardless,I am sorry,and wanted to make it up to you by agreeing. But... Keiran...I...I can't do it. At first I thought it would be some trippy hallucinations,maybe the drug would alter my mood,like make me feel depressed or something,but according to how you've explained it...it's more than I thought I could handle. I don't want to do it,"Delia said,the vulnerability already shining through her eyes. "Please don't make me do this. Not this one,please... Find me another punishment. I'll do it. Even if it's more corporal punishment,just...please Keiran. Don't do this to me,"Delia pleaded,hoping and praying that he would actually show compassion for the first time since she had met him and give her another punishment to do.
"Delia," Keiran said,her name rolling off his tongue ever so beautifully. Delia felt herself...shiver? At his voice. "Your actions warranted the punishment. You can't expect me to give you leeway just because you don't like the punishment. If I do so,I will be breeching the contract. What would even be the point of having the contract if we won't follow it?" He asked her." You'll be fine Butterfly. Don't worry. You can handle it,"He said,his tone the picture of confidence.
"Keiran,please, don't make me do this,"Delia all but begged. "I...I can't go back there. Please,"she said,begging now.
"Butterfly-"Keiran began.
"I'll do anything else!"she blurted out,her voice rising above his own. Keiran looked slightly stunned,whether it was because of her interrupting him or because of the tone she had just used,she didn't know. All she knew was that at that moment in time,she had to do whatever it took to stop him,to stop everything that she had worked so hard to forget,so hard to hide beneath all the layers of apparent normalcy all these years. She was willing to do anything to stay normal. Anything to stop him from knowing her,the real her,for if he did, he'd never look at her,never treat her the same way ever again."I...I am willing to do anything that would warrant as the equivalent of this punishment. Anything but this Keiran,"Delia pleaded,her voice breaking slightly at the end. "I... I'll even...I'll even be willing to ..give myself to you, consentingly this time,if it means I don't have to do this form of punishment,"Delia said,her resolve weakening but her voice still as strong as she could make it. Delia watched as Keiran's stoic expression turn into one of complete surprise.
"I'm not entirely sure I understand what you mean,"Keiran said,his voice tainted with just the slightest bit of surprise.
"I knew you'd want to milk this for all it's worth Keiran but do you really want me to spell it out for you?"Delia asked, exasperated." Okay. I. Will let you. Fuck. Me. If it means I will not do this form of punishment,"Delia stated,trying to feel as nonchalant as possible about what she had just offered.
"No,"Keiran said simply.
"No?" Delia asked, surprised at his decline,never mind how fast it took him to make up his mind on the matter.
"No,Butterfly. I will not agree to fuck you in exchange for letting you not do this punishment,"Keiran said,his voice firmer now.
"But-but Keiran surely reconsider,"Delia began,still surprised he had refused. "This will be just like the other instances. It would still be a punishment because it would be in place of this one and it's not like I wanted to do what I have just offered you anyway- it was my last resort. And you'd have made your point on dominance. I said I'd never submit to you but here I am Keiran,fully submitting myself to you,giving you all of me just like you have always wanted. And I'm the one who has come to you this time,so you must be pleased at that. And it will be consentingly,not like last time. I'm actually willing to do this this time if it means I won't do the emotional torture that is this punishment,"Delia said,trying as hard as possible to convince him to change his mind.
"Butterfly,I will not agree to fuck you. There's no point in trying to change my mind on this. I'm not doing it,"Keiran said,his voice even firmer,his resolve cast in stone.
"But why?"Delia asked,her voice still pleading."You know I would never have offered sex to you if what I was facing wasn't that bad. Yet you still refuse to accept my offer. Do you really want to see me hurt that bad?"Delia asked,her voice wavering at the end." Will the satisfaction you'll get seeing me broken transcend anything else to you? Even the sheer human empathy,the sheer kindness you'd be showing by not forcing me to do this regardless of whether or not you are getting something out of it like you would now?"Delia asked, looking right into those hazel amber eyes. " I know that you are dead inside. I know that what you are,that sick, twisted, sadistic part of you wants to see me suffer but Keiran,please,please don't do this to me. I'm literally begging you here. Please. If you don't want to fuck me it's fine.I'll do whatever you want instead. Just... please,"Delia pleaded, rapidly blinking away the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.
"Butterfly,it's not that I don't want you,in every possible way. I do. If the circumstances were different,I won't have so much as hesitated in accepting your offer. But I won't this time. And it's not even about me being my sadistic self. I would never agree to take advantage of the situation,to take advantage of you like that especially when you are at the end of your rope as you are now. Clearly,you don't want to do this. At all. I'm even surprised at the extent to which you are willing to go to to prevent this from happening. Which makes me want to make you do it even more not because I want to see you suffer like that,but because you need to do this. You need to face your demons head on Delia. You can't keep running from them for ever. You can't keep giving them this kind of power over you. You literally are willing to give yourself,to trade your body in exchange for not having to face them. You can't let them drive you onto your knees like that Butterfly. If you keep giving them that kind of power,you will lose yourself every time. You are stronger than you think. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. Whatever you have been running from, whatever you have worked so hard to hide,so hard to bury,you need to let it out. You need to let it hurt until it can't anymore. Then and only then can you have true power over them all. Only then can you be free of their chains. And if how desperately you don't want to face them is anything to go by,their chains are practically choking you,Butterfly. You can break free of them if only you let go and face them. What's the worst that could happen. And even if that's the worst,then fuck it. It's better to try and fail than not try at all. And if you do fail,you can-you will get back up again and live to fight another day. You are not weak,"Keiran finished,his eyes never leaving hers even for the barest second.
X X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X
Yes yes I know it sucks that I have left it at that for now but,
Hey guys🤗☺️😘😘
I had fucking missed you people like wtfffffffffff😪🥵💕💕💕
I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. School has been kicking my ass since we started,but at least right now it's going at a manageable pace(Arch students relate🥵)so now,I have actually put down a schedule that includes time for updating this and any other story. I hope it works.
Anyway...I hope y'all have been okay. Are you guys okay?🥺🥺. By the way,
Thank you all so much for reading my book and sharing it and voting and also following me. I saw that it has reached around 31k reads and yes I know some people wouldn't see that as an achievement but you guyyyys😭😭 thank you so fucking much for all of that support and for taking this book this far. Honestly. You guys are the best and I love you all so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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BridgitBosibori8
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Romance"So you've decided that you won't respond to me.At all?" he asked,his voice a mixture of concealed emotions. "Butterfly, you seem to forget that,you don't have any say concerning what I do to you,especially to your body," Keiran said."You are MINE,"...
