YOURS

Chapter 29

"You are not weak,"Keiran finished,his eyes never leaving hers even for the barest second. Delia merely stared back at him,his words sink in. Never had Delia thought that he'd actually say that...any of that to her. She wasn't even sure whether he was being serious or not. Knowing Keiran,there actually was a chance he was only saying those words to her because he knew that she needed to hear them,because he only wanted her to accept his punishment,not because he actually cared for her enough to want to support her. The thought alone was enough to make her harden her gaze.
"I appreciate the...kind gesture that you are showing by telling me all of this but, I'm still not going to do it,"Delia replied,ignoring Keiran's raised eyebrow at her choice of words,her resolve stronger now."You and I both know this is just another one of your games Keiran. Play the submissive,make her think that you actually care about her,get her to do whatever you bloody wish because she'd feel indebted to you for your concern. Well here's something you should know Keiran. I. Am not. Falling. For. It. I have been fucked over enough times to know a set up when I see one. Just because you know what to say to me to make me feel better,feel stronger, doesn't mean I'll fall for it. Frankly speaking I thought you'd use another means of persuasion for this one. Like coercion. Perhaps blackmail. That's right up your alley,isn't it? Or how about you flash the offer of seeing my brother again before my eyes Keiran? Dangle it before me,close enough that I think I can actually get it,far enough for me never to. Like you did at the gala. Remember that?" Delia asked,bitterness lacing her voice at the memory.She watched a flash of emotion run across his eyes as he did.
"That was different," he said,his brows furrowing slightly.
" How?" Delia asked,wanting to hear how he would justify himself to her.
" I knew you would never agree to come with me and abide by the instructions I gave you willingly. The gala was important to me,I had to make you what I wanted you to be that night,and there's no way in hell you'd agree to that if I hadn't promised something equally as important,if not more,to you like I did. This is different. This concerns you personally. It concerns a part of you you never want to see the light of day again. It concerns you having to do something for your own benefit,not mine. Facing your demons,your worst fears,it won't benefit me Butterfly. It will only benefit you. You need to do this,"Keiran finished,the same urgency,the same fire in his voice present even now.
"I get that I need to face them Keiran but not like this!" Delia stated, frustrated that he still wasn't getting her point. " You are literally binding me in chains and dragging me to my fate. You are forcing me to face them when clearly I'm not ready to do it yet. You can't just force someone to confront something they have been struggling with psychologically especially if they never want to go back to that toxic space to begin with. That's like forcing an addict to go to rehab. What good will it do,forcing them to do something they don't want to do,even though it's good for them in the long run? You need to understand that they have to be willing to do it. No coercion. No blackmail. No form of persuasion necessary. They need to see the need for them to do it, understand what they have to do and be willing to pay the price of doing it. I see the need for me to face them. I understand what I have to do but Keiran,I am not willing to pay the price of doing it. I would rather they haunt me,than face them head on. Doesn't that tell you the full extent of how severe things are? I know I have to face them,I get it and I accept it. But not right now. Not like this." Delia said,her voice threatening to waver at the end.
"If not now,then when?" Keiran asked her,not missing how much emotion shone through her voice when she talked. " You might not be ready now,but Butterfly,will you ever be ready to face them? Will you ever be willing to rip open old scars and watch them bleed anew? Will you ever see the need for all that pain you have underneath to be brought out into the open? Pain demands to be felt. No compromise. Even though you might try and bury it under layers upon layers of 'I'm okay's and 'Everything's fine',the fact still remains that that you will have to feel that pain sooner or later. You can't dispel darkness with darkness. You have to use light. When will you ever be ready to come into the light Butterfly? Ready to lay yourself bare and accept what's coming to you as it is because frankly speaking,I know that you would rather keep running away your entire life rather than stand and fight. You will never be able to say that you are ready to face your worst fears,your darkest demons. You just have to take that leap of faith and...do it. The strength will come in the process. You might feel weak now but you never really know how strong you are till strong is the only thing you can be. Stop running Butterfly. Fight it and win."
Delia didn't know what to say. She didn't even know what to do at that point. His words had placed her between a rock and a hard place,and the walls were closing in. As much as she hated to admit it,every single word he had said made sense. Every single word resonated with her at so deep a level that she couldn't bear to block or disregard any of them.He sounded as if he had given her a choice when really,he had given her a decision. And as much as she didn't like it,as much as every part of her was screaming for her not to,she would. It was now or never. Delia took a deep breath and let it out as she gathered all the strength she had,all the courage she had to say what she was about to say.
"Alright. I'll do it,"She began,watching as Keiran's expression changed into that of surprise." But on one condition," Delia continued, eyeing him warily to gauge his reaction." If I do it,if I go through with this punishment,you will let me go see Roman. Not next week. Not next month. Not after the next punishment. Right after this one. As soon as I am done with this punishment,I will go and see him. No compromise. You will not keep me from seeing him. And Keiran I swear if you pull any of the bullshit you pulled when we got out of the gala you will regret it. I'll let you screw me over on other things and other instances,but not this one. I will go and see Roman after this punishment. Whether you like it or not,"
Keiran's gaze hardened,his eyes nothing but a cold icy amber when he looked at her." I do not appreciate being threatened Butterfly," he said,his jaw clenched. " But...for the sake of this situation,I'll allow it. You will go see Roman after your punishment,if you are able to."
"I don't care if I'll have to crawl all the way to go see him. I will still go regardless of the state I will be in. You won't be able to talk me out of this one,"Delia said, adamant about her stand on the matter.
" Fine. Your emotional state won't matter in this case. I have agreed to let you see Roman after your punishment no matter the case,"Keiran said,early unhappy about the whole thing.
"Roman's birthday is tomorrow. I will go as soon as the punishment is over and stay till the day after his birthday. I'll come back after that day,"Delia said,looking him dead in the eye.
"That's two whole days you'll be gone," Keiran deadpanned,disbelief etched in his face.
"No compromise," Delia said,"You are lucky I haven't asked for a whole week or month off. Two days is reasonable. Even I have to take a break from all of this madness,"she continued,still looking at him.
"Fine,"Keiran huffed. "Three days. I expect you back at the fourth day. You're the one who has set the time limit,so I expect you back by then."
"Don't worry about it Keiran. Unlike you,I don't say one thing then change it when it suits me,"Delia said,a taunting smirk tugging at her lips. "And the entire visit will be unsupervised otherwise all bets are off," she finished,adding the cherry on top of her delicious cake.
"What exactly do you mean?" He questioned skeptically.
"If I so much as feel you watching me,if I happen to see you following me,watching me or stalking me and or keeping tabs on my whereabouts,this agreement is off. I will extend my stay,for as long as I like until I decide when I want to come back. You would still be watching me right? No need to come back and stay here when you can clearly monitor me from a far. I value my privacy. I don't go poking my nose into your shit. It's only fair that you extend the same courtesy to me. Don't monitor me, don't follow me, don't have me stalked or else I'm not coming back until I feel like coming back,"
"But-but Butterfly surely-"Keiran began,his eyebrows still arched in surprise.
"No compromise Keiran,"Delia said,her face blank,her stand unwavering." Whatever you are about to make me do is worth that much,if not more,"she said,her eyes still on his. Keiran opened his mouth to argue,then shut it again before saying anything else. His jaw ticked in annoyance,his teeth clenched so hard you could see a vein pop out from the side of his head. He looked at her,his own emotions swirling angrily in his eyes.
"Fine." He spoke eventually. " I agree to all of the conditions you have set for yourself."
Delia couldn't believe it. She had expected he put up much more of a fight than he just had but oh well. She wasn't about to let such an opportunity pass on just like that.
"And if you don't? If you go behind anything we have agreed to today?" Delia asked,wanting to make sure she had a back up plan in case she failed.
"I won't do any of that. You have my word," Keiran said,his voice grave,clearly not liking the situation he had been put in.
"Okay,"Delia said,letting out a shakey breath. "Do it. I'm consenting to this punishment,"She said,driving the final nail down the coffin. Keiran nodded and got out of the room. Delia felt like the wind had been knocked right out of her chest. It had not been easy getting the courage to confront him like that and give him her ultimatum. Truth be told,she was slightly surprised that he actually agreed to everything she had said. Was her doing this that important to him? It must be,otherwise he wouldn't even have agreed to everything much less consider her words. Her eyes darted back and forth across the room,her heart increasing its beating by the second. She...she had to stay calm otherwise it would make the punishment even worse. Delia shut her eyes and willed herself not to freak out as she focused on her breathing. Even without the drugs,one of her fears was already coming to life. Breathe in. The room was small. Breathe out. The room had no form of ventilation whatsoever. Breathe in. She had to stay calm. Breathe out. She was going to die in there. Her nails dug even deeper into her palms as she tried to reason with herself. The room was small,but she could still breathe. Keiran told her that she wouldn't-couldn't suffocate. Breathe in. The room had no windows. No windows whatsoever. No visible ventilation shafts. Delia's eyes immediately sprang open as she let out the breath she was holding,panic rising in her like a column of Mercury. Breathe the fuck in. Delia breathed in harder. To her utmost relief,Keiran walked in at that time. Never had Delia been more grateful for his presence in her life. She forced herself to focus on him,nothing else,her nails practically embedded in her skin by then.
Keiran didn't even look at her as he popped open the tiny briefcase he had carried,much to her relief. He took out a tiny,dark bottle,and a syringe with its needle already on it. Unscrewing the bottle,he dipped the needle with the syringe in and pulled back its piston. Delia watched as the syringe filled with a clear liquid. He put the bottle back into the case once he removed the needle and screwed it back shut. Applying just the slightest bit of pressure on to the piston,they watched as the needle weeped a single tear of liquid,the drop trickling down the syringe,down the piston, disappearing in between Keiran's fingers. Keiran took a few steps towards her.
"Stretch out your left arm Butterfly,"he instructed. Delia stretched out her arm,flinching slightly as Keiran took hold of her left wrist,its faded purple red colour an indication that it was still sore from the suspension before. "You may have noticed the needle was already fixed onto the syringe even before I took it from the case. It is thoroughly sterilized though, don't worry. It's just more convenient to have it like that,"Keiran said,his gaze falling onto the blue green vein on her arm that was visible from underneath her sunkissed ivory skin. Delia said nothing, sterilization being the farthest thing in her mind right then. She gasped quietly when the needle tore through her skin,piercing her vein immediately. Delia watched as Keiran accurately emptied all of the syringe's contents into her bloodstream,not a single drop shed. He slowly retracted the needle from her,applying pressure into the puncture with a cotton swab he had carried in his other hand almost immediately. After a few seconds,Keiran removed the swab. The bleeding had stopped,a wet red patch on the swab in its place. "We are done Butterfly. See you in a couple of hours,"Keiran said,putting the used syringe and needle in a clear plastic bag he had carried in the case.
"Wait... you're not going to stay here with me?"Delia asked,letting her arm fall to her side,a slight throbbing beneath her skin where the needle had gone through.
"No. In as much as I'd love to watch first hand your reaction to the drug,there's no telling what you'd do in that state,"Keiran said,packing the materials and closing the briefcase.
"But-"Delia began.
"You'll be fine, don't worry Butterfly,"Keiran said,looking at her one last time before he turned around and opened the door. With that,he left.
Delia heard the door click. He had left her in the room. The room with no windows in it. The room with no visible ventilation in it. Delia felt her heart rate pick up again. It's okay,she thought to herself. It's just a room. Just a small room,with no windows,no ventilation to speak of. Her breathing quickened. She had to stay calm. She had to stay calm or else the situation would get worse. Her eyes swept the room,her left hand instinctively wrapping around her right wrist,her nails digging into the raw skin there slightly. It's just a room, she forced herself to think. Delia knew she had to stay calm. She was only making the situation worse by panicking. But she couldn't. Already,Delia began to feel her skin getting warmer,a delicious feeling of lightness consuming her entirely. The drug was already taking effect. No windows, no windows ,her mind sang again and again,her eyes darting frantically across every inch of the room. Delia felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, blurring her vision momentarily. Her breathing grew harder and faster,her nails digging deeper into her healing wrist,the pain spiking up her arm then dulling to a barely noticeable throb in a mere second. No ventilation,her mind screamed as she staggered to the door. She yanked at the doorhandle,the need to get out of the confining space near crippling. "No,"she breathed out,pulling and twisting the door handle frantically now,hoping,praying that what she was thinking wasn't true. He... He couldn't have. He wouldn't. Delia grabbed the handle by both hands now,full on panicking as the door simply refused to budge. The bastard. He had fucking locked her in. She was trapped. Trapped in that tiny padded room with no windows,no ventilation. Delia began to hyperventilate. Her breathing became unnaturally fast and laboured,her hands trembling as her skin broke out into cold sweat. She had to stay calm. She had to force herself to stay calm. Another wave of dizziness,stronger this time,swept through her entire body. Delia staggered as she tried to move back, feeling herself begin to fall to her side. Thinking fast,she stretched out her arms to break her fall. Luckily,the floor was made of rubber,so it absorbed most of the impact, leaving her unharmed. Delia forced herself into a sitting position,her back pressed against the soft padded walls. Her legs began growing numb, spiking even more fear into her. Delia was still breathing hard as she tried moving her legs. She couldn't. Her eyes grew wild as she tried again to move her legs,her feet,her toes, anything. Nothing happened. Her hands trembled as she placed them at her sides. She forced herself to take a deep breath in the hopes of calming herself down,feeling a painful chest cramp as she did. Her breathing grew more erratic as when realized she couldn't feel her fingers or her arms. She couldn't move anything. It was as if the drug had forced her to relinquish control of her movements,forced her to accept her fate. Delia watched in horror as the room got smaller right before her very eyes. Delia blinked rapidly,trying to clear her vision as she thought she had somehow imagined the whole thing. Again,she saw one end of the room getting closer,the other getting closer as well. Delia's breathing quickened at the sight. The air...it was...it was diminishing. She let the panic flood her fully this time,her breathing increasing tenfold. The walls were literally closing in on her,moving closer and closer by the second. She had to get out of there. She couldn't even breathe properly now. Delia tried moving her legs,but they remained adamantly in the position they were in before. Delia's eyes widened in pure, unadulterated fear. She couldn't move. She couldn't fucking move! "K...Keiran!"she shouted,her breathing still wild and laboured. "Keiran please! I can't...I can't move!" She shouted desperately, watching as the walls moved even closer,just a couple of inches away from her now. "Keiran!" She shouted,her voice breaking when she realized she couldn't move,and the walls were still closing in on her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe! Delia realized that she would either die of suffocation,or get crushed into a pulp, whichever came first. She tried desperately to move, desperately tried to get her body to do something... anything,but nothing moved. Nothing happened. "Keiran please!"she cried out,tears welling up in her eyes as she struggled to breathe. The walls got even closer. Her entire body was slick with sweat,her chest aching with all the effort it took her to keep breathing. "Keiran!"Delia screamed,panic gripping her when she felt the walls press up against the soles of her feet. Her chest constricted. She couldn't breathe. Delia gasped and coughed, choking on her own saliva,her horror too great for her mind to even process."Kei..ran!" She sputtered out,sobbing fully now,her tears trickling freely down her cheeks as she kept on coughing up her own spit. Her vision blurred,black spots dancing before her. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. Delia gasped and clawed for air,the pain in her chest increasing due to the lack of it. She was dying. "K... Keiran!" She let out,her voice barely audible from her constricted throat and chest. Her vision dimmed as she wheezed,the only sound her high pitched breathing and silent sobs. The darkness was spreading. The pain in her chest seared through her entire body,her eyelids growing heavier and heavier. The last tear trickled down her face,dangling at her chin and fell to her collar bone. Her breathing slowed down. Her eyes fell shut. Delia's head fell to her side.
X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X.
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The story is about to get real dark. We are going to find out what the fuck happened in Delia's past. Fasten your seatbelts my awesome readers.
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BridgitBosibori8.