The Redhead Outlander

Kintsugi

In the London's streets, a man walked aimlessly, trapped in his dark thoughts. He was so far from home. His hands in his trouser pockets, his worn converse rubbed the pavement with each step and his long coat fluttered gently like a shadow. He had no emotions on his face, not a smile, not a frown; his face was empty of everything.

He was traveling without a destination until he reached a park. The rain had been falling for a few minutes and a storm was rumbling loudly, shaking his body. He wasn't paying attention to passers-by walking under their umbrellas or to those running to stay dry. But his attention turned to an anomaly in his vision.

As the weather was dark and the rain fell again and again, wetting the grass and its soil, he spotted a bench. The bench was near a lake with some ducks in it. On this bench was a girl with a coat almost like his, and red hair.

The man's eyes were wide, recognizing the girl. A wave of sorrow rushed into his chest as he watched her tremble with cold in the rain. The girl was soaked to the bone despite the layer of clothing she was wearing. The man went to her, he removed his coat and as soon as he was behind her, he draped her shoulders with his coat, covering it with the little heat he could offer under this rainfall.

Lost in my thoughts and paying absolutely no attention to those around me, I was only aware of the rain falling on me and of every drop that tapped my cheeks. But when an unknown heat source covered my shoulders and back, I jumped, my attention back to reality. I turned to look at the man behind me.

I narrowed my eyes as I recognized the man. Hands in the pockets of his trousers, his legs crossed and a sweet smile with old and sorrowful eyes. If I was not so furious and my nerves were not so raw, I might have been worried about the negative emotions buried in his eyes. But it was absolutely not the case, and my whole being was tense, ready to flee or attack the man I was watching.

"When I said I wanted you away from me, that also counts for your other regeneration, Doctor!"

But the Doctor did not answer. The Doctor, whom I had never met before this moment and who was the spitting portrait of David Tennant gave me only a sad smile.

"What are you doing here? Isn't it dangerous to return to a time when you're already here?"

"The Tardis took me here, I'm completely there by chance. Where are we?" Babbled the Doctor cheerfully.

"No idea ... And if you are here by chance, go elsewhere!" I hissed.

The 10th Doctor chuckled at seeing me hiss and spit at him. There was nothing funny, absolutely nothing. I finally stopped cursing the Doctor, seeing that it was useless since he was just giggling. I could only stare at him somberly in silence.

"You know that despite what you think of me now, I have no regrets? You may not know it, but there was no other way to save you."

"What?! Was that the best thing you could tell me, huh?!" I exclaimed furiously again.

The Doctor didn't say anything. He was just watching me, with dark, impenetrable eyes, devoid of any emotions. He seemed to be looking for a good word, not wanting to give away anything that would reveal to my future. A future that I do not want to want again. I don't think I can bear traveling with him. Even at the thought I'm outraged.

"Without you, I don't think I could have survived what I lived," said the Doctor. "It was only thanks to you that I was able to survive certain situations, only because you were there to save me. Without you, I wouldn't be here anymore. When I think back to when I lived with you I don't regret anything, absolutely nothing."

"I-I..."

I didn't expect at all what he just told me. To say that I am surprised is a euphemism. My future self really had such a relationship with him? Was I even able to save someone other than myself? When I am barely able to take good care of myself?