Sweater Guy and Cubicle Girl

Corey is a Mother

Corey loved cats. That's a plain fact. Corey had a cat named KitKat that he loved more than any other person in the world. He even spooned the cat at night. But all that wasn't too crazy, he was just a guy that really loved his cat. Until one day, he found a litter of kittens. It was in the afternoon and he went outside to check out the blackberry bush that had sprouted by the side of the house. He heard little baby mews from inside the bush. Soon he came running inside with arms full of 5 tiny kittens. I fussed over them all day with him. Over the next couple weeks Corey had become their mother. He had named them all after chocolate brands, Hershey, Cadbury, Nestle, Godiva, and Pete. He bottle fed them and cuddled them to his chest. He even spoke to them like he was speaking to his own infant children. I even caught him singing a Russian lullaby to them a few times. Soon it got even crazier. Every two seconds I'd hear him in a high pitch voice saying "my little BAYBAYS" He even fixed up the half the living room to be the kittens' "bedroom" He bought them expensive food and toys because "only the best for my baybays."

"Corey don't you think we should be thinking about how to find all of these kittens a home? Or a foster mom?" I asked one day.

He gasped and said defensively, "I AM THEIR MOTHER!"

"Corey, please." I looked at how much he'd changed. He knitted each kitten a sweater, each one a different color, while he was wearing a sweater with a cat on it. The old Corey would have said it was a 'little much.' I didn't know what to do.

I called Connie.

Connie took one look at him and slapped him so hard he had a mark on his face for 2 weeks. After Connie slapped him back into reality he agreed to give the kittens away. But Corey wasn't alright after it. I think I saw him cry, I'd never seen him cry before. He hid in his room all day eating away his feelings. He went through so much ice cream I think I ended up stopping to get more every day. He even took off 2 days of work. I felt bad for taking his 'baybays' away, but then I remembered KitKat could always cheer him up. I tied a bunch of candies onto one of KitKats sweaters and put him in little knitted booties. I then sent him into Corey's room to see if he could make it any better. I peaked in and Corey was sprawled out in bed with empty ice cream containers everywhere. When he saw KitKat his face lit up and he picked up the cat and hugged him with a big smile, the next day Corey was regular Corey again. Damn, what a dramatic week.