Sweater Guy and Cubicle Girl

The Secret Life of Conrad Volsilyev

"I WANT CINNABON!" Corey screamed from the kitchen.

"Calm down! Why don't you just go get one."

"NO."

"What?"

"I said no."

"Corey do you want a Cinnabon or not?"

"I WANT CINNABON!"

"What? What's wrong, you want me to buy it for you?"

Corey sighed and finally finished his tantrum, "No... I want a Cinnabon but I don't feel like going aaalllll the way out to get one just to come back."

"Then lets go to the mall and get one and make a day out of it, that sounds fun right?"

"The mAaAaAlllll?" Corey whined.

"Yes. What's wrong now?"

"I don't feeeeeeeel like it.... I mean I guess it sounds fun. Will you get me a pretzel and frozen lemonade too?"

"Sure."

"And will you help me pick out more hawaiian Tommy Bahama shirts?"

"Absolutely."

"YAY LETS GOOOO" Corey jumped up and ran to the front door, tripped over nothing and face planted, then got back up and continued running.

"CAREFUL!" I yelled, following after him.

Once we got to the mall we went straight to Cinnabon and Corey finally started acting normal again. We started walking afterwards, looking for something to do. "Corey look! Its Conrad!" I yelled, I had spotted him in Hot Topic.

"Oh wow haha. Why's he in Hot Topic? That's weird." Said Corey.

"Maybe he's with friends?"

"Oh don't be silly, Conrad doesn't have any friends! Let's go say hi though." Corey grabbed my hand and rushed to the store. When Conrad saw us coming towards him he looked a bit anxious, but Corey being his loud self that can't take a hint yelled, "HEY CONRAD! I didn't know you were a weeb!" After Corey said that, Conrad visibly cringed and motioned with his eyes to the very obvious weeb e-girl standing rather close to him. Corey shut his mouth and looked at the girl, then Conrad, and back to me, and said "Oooohhh....."

"Hey... Corey..." Conrad said, looking down.

He continued to embarrass poor Conrad. "Sorry man, I didn't realize you were here because of your weeb girlfriend—"

"COREY!" I yelled, hoping he'd finally shut up.

"OH SHIT! Sorry dude. I didn't mean to say that. Damn... I'm kinda ruining your date huh?"

Then the e-girl said quietly, "It's not a date."

"Fuck I'm just making things worse... uuuhhh OOH! I'll make it up to you guys I'll buy you lunch come on!"

"No Corey you don't have t—" said Conrad

"I INSIST LETS GO!"

I knew that all Conrad wanted in the world was to be left alone so I tried to tell Corey, "Hey maybe we shouldn't, let's just let them get back to their date or whatever this is."

He didn't listen at all and just dismissed my comment,"Nah nah it's okay." Corey dragged Conrad and his not-girlfriend to the food court where we had an awkward lunch together. Corey and I sat across from the other two in a brief moment of silence. "So how long have you been dating?" Corey asked.

"We're not." Said Conrad.

"Oh. Right. Hm... so what's your name?" Corey asked the e-girl.

"Uhh... we've met before." She said.