Sweater Guy and Cubicle Girl

Trading Places Pt.1 (not the movie)

Me and Corey were getting bored again. I think my boring outlook on life was getting to him. We sat, bored out of our minds, just waiting for something to do every weekend. But one special weekend we had an argument that sparked an idea. The whole thing started with him complaining about me complaining, and then exploded into this whole thing about how neither of us understand each others lives. So instead of just letting it go, we behaved like sitcom characters and decided to just trade places for a day. We dedicated a whole weekend to it. On Saturday I would walk Corey through my routines, and on Sunday Corey would do the same with me.

I started Corey's day by waking him up at a normal person hour, 8:30am. "Cooorreeyyyyy!" I yelled. "COR-REY-WAKE-UP!!" I screamed after he still didn't budge. Our schedule was already behind because it took him a whole 30 minutes to get out of bed. When he finally got up he told me sleepily that he was hungry so I decided to have him make a me-style breakfast.

"What do you eat for breakfast miss early bird?" He said, exhausted.

"Well usually oatmeal or just a piece of fruit or toast with eggs. Since you're living my day I'll let you choose from the three." I said.

"Can I have all three?" He said, rubbing his eyes.

"No! Its a me-style day, you pick one!" I said, giggling.

Corey sighed and went to make himself toast and eggs. After he ate he whined "I'm still hungryyyyyy Ellaaa can I have snacks now?"

"No, I don't snack until after I go jogging."

"You go—what?" He said, taken aback.

"Jogging, I go around the block a few times."

"You wouldn't make me go jogging would you?....would you?" He said, giggling at first, then very worrisome.

"Well of course! We're gonna go right now since you finished breakfast." I said, cheerfully.

"But Ella..."

"No buts! You have to do what I do!" I tried to motivate him. "Cmon Corey! It won't be so bad we wont go far and you'll feel energized after."

Corey rolled his eyes at me and said "I guarantee you that I will not feel energized and will feel like absolute shit after."

When we finally got going we were off to a good start...until about halfway around the block. Corey slowed down, breathing extremely heavily, struggling to keep going until he hit a full stop. He said in between breaths "I can't...nope...I'm done."

I said, not realizing the seriousness of the situation, "Just catch your breath and keep going"

"Keep going? KEEP GOING?? I cant...I just can't." Corey took a moment and then lied down on the ground curled up in a ball, still mumbling "No more."

"Oh gawd Corey I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"Yea"

"Once you feel better we'll just walk back home okay?"

"Yea"

"And I'll let you have a big snack okay?"

"Yea"

When we got home I let Corey have his choice of snack, of course it wasn't healthy but at least he exercised a bit....kinda. Then we each washed up and met back in the living room.

"Is it lunchtime yeeeettt" He whined.

"No its only 11, I eat at 12. But before eating we have to watch my favorite show because this is the only time it comes on."

"Oh no... It's that low budget mystery soap opera shit isn't it?" He said, shaking his head.

"Mhmmmm and each episode is an hour long so get comfy!"

Corey watched with an unsatisfied look on his face for the majority, but by the end he had actually gotten into it himself. He was even making up his own theories about the plot. I was glad he somewhat enjoyed it. When it was over, we had lunch.

"What are you gonna make me eat" He asked, scared.

"A salad."

"Salad?"

"Salad."

"Salad sucks. I'm not a rabbit." He said, with attitude.

"Oh relax you can put whatever you want in it I don't care. A whole bottle of dressing, Doritos, cheese. I don't care."

"Well now its not so bad I guess." He said, enticed.

We each made our own not-so-healthy-salads, it left Corey much more satisfied than breakfast had. "What now?" He asked.

"Well during the afternoon I either go out or I stay in and read or do something mindless. You can pick."

"Actually—can we go to the store? We have almost no food in the house."

"Sure...but hmm how do we keep the theme of the day?"

"Oh I know!" Said Corey excitedly. "We can trade lists and do each others shopping!"

"Hey that's not a bad idea, lets do it!"

When we got to the store we traded lists, and got to shopping. Corey's list was completely filled with unhealthy snacks and frozen food. The first item on the list was actually a box of "Cream filled Tastycakes." The list had me grab practically everything off of the snack cake isle. Then there was like a million boxes of boneless buffalo wings. I mean what's up with this guy? Does he have an addiction?? The list was topped off with 3 liters of Mtn Dew with a little side note that said (for when Conrad comes over) I mean that's sweet he keeps it in the house just for him but dang.

We met back at the front when we finished. As soon as Corey saw me he very loudly asked "What the FUCK is a Triscuit?" I just shook my head.

Once we got home it was pretty late so we just did my most favorite thing and got snuggled on the couch and watched a movie until we were both so exhausted we couldn't keep our eyes open. We went to bed at a responsible time instead of at Corey's usual 2am. That was the end of my day.