A Very OOC Uchiha [Naruto Fanfic]

Chapter 2: Childhood - Part 1

Okay. Let me tell you:

The Kyuubi Attack was terrifying.

Like holy shit, I pissed myself in my little blankie.

After that event, soon enough the whole Uchiha clan moved into the outskirts of the village, just like the canon story. A year later, and I kinda knew some words of the language??? I don't know but like I really, really want to say the word penis for my first word. Or anything inappropriate; I just feel like I'd get the best reactions out of it. Thankfully, the Japanese word for penis was something that I knew from my very limited library!

What? Don't judge me.

On the topic of the Uchiha clan, it was really weird to have parents, especially parents that I already knew for years. But it also felt nice; I've been alone for so long so it was a good chance of pace for once. Fugaku was actually not that bad of a parent; I think it was just because of his experience with Itachi that I thought he was a total dick til the end.

Mikoto was very kind and warm, just like a mother would be. But the thing is, she really likes to dress me up and squeals about literally anything me and/or Sasuke did. It was also really really uncomfortable getting breast milk from her. I mean, I know babies need it but I feel so scandalized!

Speaking of Sasuke, he is such a crybaby! Like, get a freaking chill pill dude! Wait, do babies choke on pills? Maybe I should try it out sometime... Anyways! Sasuke always wants attention like the little brat he is and when every Itachi looks away for even .9 seconds, he'll start balling his eyes off! I had to use my pacifier to shut the fuck him up.

Now that I think about it, I guess it was a little strange for not crying, ever. Whenever I would need something, I would just tug on Itachi's or Mikoto's clothing. Maybe that's why I sometimes got concerned looks. But hey, it's better than crying every 5 minutes!

"Come on Megumi, Sasuke, I-Ta-Chi." Itachi (Ni-san?) States, gesturing me to his lips. Oh yeah, I'm a year and a half old now and right now he's been trying to get both me and Sasuke to say our first words for a while. Unleashing my inner child, I clap with my chubby hands and giggle, Sasuke doing the same. I found out that Sasuke likes copying me, something that I found extremely adorable. It was also something I hope to tease him about when he- we (I would never get used to that) get older. Itachi sighs, but still smiles, "How about Onii-san? Onii-chan?"

This is my chance! I think in my head, smiling mischievously. "O...chi..." I start.

Itachi's eyes light up. "That's right. O-nii-chan!" He pestered, not knowing what the hell I was about to unleash.

"O-o..." Itachi leaned in while baby Sasuke just laid back, giggling. "O... Ochinchin!" The older boy froze, his smile faltering as I laugh at his despaired face.

Right then, Mikoto (Oka-san?) walked into the room, innocent to what I had just spewed out. "Itachi, did Sasuke and Megumi say their firs-"

"Ochinchin!"

She froze as well, then darted her eyes dangerously at Itachi, who was uncharacteristically sweating bullets. "Itachi," She starts, glaring as I continued to say Penis mercilessly. "What did you teach them?"

"Ch... chinchin!" And then I froze as well, along with the older family members. Now I did not say that. Turning around with a giggle, I turn to see Sasuke laughing and clapping his hands, also saying penis. I fell on my back, childishly waving my arms and legs laughing and giggling at both Itachi's despaired and Mikoto's enraged expressions.

"Itachi!"

And this is how Sasuke and I said our first words.

~ \(^ o ^)/ ~