Weak Around You✔️

25} time stopped

Edited: all chapters from here on, in this book, are edited;)

{Monday, same day}

"She remembered who she was and the game changed."

~Lalah Deliah

{Sam}

Everything stopped.

My body didn't move as he left through those glass doors, leaving me here as my temperature rose and my body shook. My mind was stilled, blank, I didn't know what was going on, what just happened.

I felt my eyes sting but I wouldn't let them fall, I couldn't be upset, I didn't think I was capable of feeling this emotion when the only emotion I felt for 1/2 of my life was anger.

But I don't feel it, the anger, it's not here. It's replaced with something else, something I've never wanted to deal with and I can't pin point why I'm upset.

I should be mad, infuriated, my blood should be on fire. I should be running after him right now, yanking him back and trying to knock some sense into him. Tell him he was delusional and put all the blame on him. I wanted to scream at on how wrong he was that I didn't care. How undeniably wrong he was.

But I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me, almost as if it were telling me it wasn't right.

And it wasn't.

~~~~~~~~

I made myself an iced latte when I got back home. I didn't drink it, I just made it, maybe to keep myself occupied.

Dad wasn't home yet and I was thankful for that. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, hell, I didn't want to see me like this.

My legs brought themselves upstairs. I opened my door and pressed it shut as I looked around into the darkness. I walked over to my window and ripped the blinds open, glancing down at the window sill, I decided to sit there for awhile and observe the outside.

My friends are use to the disappearing act by now, so they won't notice somethings up. Resting my head on the wall I let out a sigh.

I don't understand. Why he lashed out like that. I think a part of me thought he never would after everything I put him through. His kindness stopped him, to say anything hurtful to anyone. 1 of the many traits I envied about him and something I took advantage of which I hated myself for.

I knew I liked him, I was just too oblivious to notice how I felt about him. Too oblivious that I didn't even know it back then, when we were best friends.

I knew why I bullied Sebastian, it wasn't right, but I didn't care. I was angry, angry he stopped talking to me and found another best friend for replacement, angry he never mentioned why, angry that I've liked him for 3 years and not knowing it until now. Just angry...all the fucking time.

My head was in my hands as I scrunched up my golden hair that tangled itself through my fingers. My eyes were stinging but I didn't know how to cry, it's like- because I haven't done it in so long, I couldn't anymore.

"This is so depressing, all of this is so depressing!" I yell out loud, "You bullied Sebastian because you rather him hate you then ignore you for the rest of your life." A laugh escapes my lips but it's far from happiness. It was bitter. "It's pathetic." I growl to myself.

Everyone always thought I hated Sebastian, but they were wrong. I hated myself more than anyone. I lifted my head from my palms and stare out the glass pane.

Wanting to make Sebastian hate me so he was still in contact with me was useless when he had a heart of gold and not a mean bone in his body...well, unless Black is unleashed.

And than, out of the blue, something slammed into my subconscious. Black. Not only did I know that it was a darkness inside of Sebastian. I also knew it was Sebastian. A part of him, and...I'm such a fucking idiot. If I'm hot and bothered around White, there's no doubt I gave into Black when he provided me with some of the attention I craved from Sebastian.

And before anything else could happen, he tilts my head up and crushes his lips onto mine.

I suck in a breath of air as my eyes pull back and open wide. I didn't know how to react. How and why the fuck am I turned on?

How can Sebastian White make me feel, sexually aroused?

How can anyone make me feel this aroused?

His lips slowly but surely moved against mine, and without acknowledgment or coming to my full senses from my clouded mind, I kissed him back.

He was needy and rowdy and I found myself wanting more.

I should have known I liked Sebastian from the moment I let Black kiss me.

And now that he had finally really stood up to me, told me how I ruined his freedom and tormented him for 1/2 of his high school life, it was the worst feeling imaginable.

Unredeemable, that's what this whole situation felt like.

What've you done, Sam?

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