All Night || ASTRO Moonbin x (male) Reader (feat. Secret Rival)

XVIII || The Place In Your Heart

As you got back home you immediately disappeared in your room.
You had been so sure the day couldn't have got any worse, but you were proved wrong soon enough.

Just moments after you closed the door behind you, your phone buzzed again. Reading the new message on your screen, your legs became so weak, they couldn't carry you any longer. You slumped back against the door, staring motionless at your phone.

„ASTRO's manager now also confirmed the relationship." it had said now.

That was it, that had bombed away all the hope still left inside your heart.
It hurt.
It was a pain that was hard to describe. It hurt deep inside of you, deep inside your heart, like you've never felt it before. Everything was spinning inside your head. You felt ill, you felt like you had to puke.

You wanted the pain to stop, you wanted it to end, but nothing could stop it from hurting more and more.

Why?

A good while passed by with you sitting on the same spot staring into nothing and shaking with every breath you took. Your phone was still clutched in your hand as if it was frozen in that position, ready to deliver more messages from the devil.
Everything had stopped, the world around you fell apart. Your head was empty except of one single thought: He lied. Moonbin had lied to you.

It made you suffer, it made you deny it and in the end it made you realize that it was for real true.
You didn't want it to be true, but until then everything made it just more and more true and broke your heart in more and more pieces.
Your eyes cought sight of an incoming call on your phone, but although it had been Jeno, you still ignored it.
You weren't able to talk, you didn't want to either.

So that's also exactly what you told him as he texted you a minute later. Then, before he could even answer you, you  shut down your phone completely and dropped it next to you on the floor.

It was a bit like running away, running away from everything, that could hurt you even more. A shield. Nothing and no one could reach you anymore. Nothing bad but also nothing good.

It stayed like this for the next few days. It made you feel safer to hear nothing of what was happening outside your room.
But as good as it made you feel, as bad it made others feel. It worried them, it worried all the people that cared about you.

After the third day of you not answering neither his calls nor his messages, Jeno just couldn't bare it any longer. He only had an unpleasant idea of what could be wrong with you, also having heard the news, that circled all around SNS.
But if he was honest he didn't hope for it to be the reason. As you hid yourself in your room, you had left him no other way to find out than to visit you. And obviously that was what he did after he heard the mailbox the hundredth time, dropping everything he was doing.

„Where are you going?" Jaemin asked surprised as he saw that Jeno was about to leave the dorm all of a sudden.

„To a friend." he shortly answered with his thoughts already far away.

But Jaemin wasn't finished with him yet, he didn't give up that fast.

„It's the same friend as last time, isn't it?"

„You know I really have to g-„

His slightly smaller bandmate stepped in between him and the door, not letting him leave. He was keen on finally getting answers out of his friend.

„Who is he?"

„I told you before he's just a friend.."

„Yeah you said that already a lot, it's the only thing you've ever said about him, but you know..." he took a step towards Jeno.

„The more you said that, the more I got the feeling that... that.." he lowered his gaze, the words stuck in his throat.

Jeno now only concentrated on his friend in front of him. Something was odd about him. He had never acted like this before.

„What is it?" he finally asked the silent boy in front of him, trying to be careful in the way he had said it.

„The more I got the feeling that he isn't just any friend... you like him, don't you?"

Jeno's body stiffened up but he tried to play it down by chuckling nervously and not making eye contact.

„Weeell.... I... I like all my friends... that's why they're my frie-„

„Argh! Are you really that stupid or do you just not want to understand me, Jeno?!"Jaemin shouted in desperation.

Gladly none of the other kids were around, to hear them.
The blonde froze completely under Jaemins now very serious eyes. He didn't know what to say, he knew Jaemin was right but he still wanted to avoid it, avoid all of it. He was afraid of it, afraid of what's to come.

„I..I ... Why do you even care..?" he sure was desperate too now.

It made Jaemin only sigh. The disappointment painted all over his face.

„You're an idiot, a stubborn idiot, Jeno.." he mumbled inaudible, then directly made eye contact with Jeno's eyes as he continued.

„Why? Because I don't want you to go, because I don't want you to like him..." he took a deep breath. His heart started racing in a bad uncomfortable way, making some tears well up in the corners of his eyes.

„Because I..."

Even if he didn't want to admit it, Jaemin knew what would happen if he continued what he wanted to say. Saying it, wouldn't make a difference. Jeno would never feel the same.
But... although he knew it ... he said it anyways.

„Because I like you!"

Did he get that right? His ears hadn't tricked him, had they? Jeno's eyes went wide.

„I thought I could just ignore my feelings, ignore that other friend. But whenever you left the house to visit him, I just wanted you ... I wanted you to stay, to stay with me... I wanted you to look at me the same way as you looked at him back then at the fan meeting."

He stopped for a moment, waiting for some sort of reaction by Jeno, but it never came. He just stared into Nirvana with expressionless eyes.

„I know I'm selfish telling you all of this, knowing that you'll never feel the same. I also know that I'm selfish for wanting to be the only one in your heart, knowing that there is already someone else. I really hate myself for it.." he continued, his confidence faded and his legs started to shake vigorously.

„I just had to tell you... I couldn't stop myself... I'm sorry.."

He suddenly turned around, running out of the dorm.
Jeno got back to his senses just before the door could fall back into it's lock. He wasn't quite sure what jus happened. It all had overwhelmed him.

„Jaemin, wait!" he shouted after him, but he didn't turn around to him again, he didn't stop running until Jeno and the dorm were far out of sight.

In an alley he finally came to a halt. He slammed his fist against the hard stone wall, leaving a small trace of blood behind.
Hot tears fell to the ground beneath his feet, like small droplets of salty rain.

„What have you done, Jaemin..." he said in a quiet and hoarse voice following his tears to the ground.

His sobs echoed through the alley and he felt himself getting weaker and weaker with each one.

Why was love so complicated?
Why did he have to fall in love with his best friend?
Why did love make strangers out of best friends?

____________________________________
Uhm...
Yeah...
Someone  should definitively stop me from making people suffer ...
K-Drama mode activated I guess xD
I hope you liked it anyways and are excited for the next part ;D
I'm very grateful for all your support and I still can't believe we surpassed the 1k reads.
You're amazing guys. Love ya :3

Alright then stay tuned and read you next week!
Draven out <3