ice cream | park jisung

11. "i'm scared."

I froze. As soon as those words left Chaerin's mouth, I froze. Daehwi froze. Completely. I felt numb. No, I felt a wave of different emotions. Every single thing that my parents had done to innocent people, every single thing they had done to me, it was now all coming back. 

every 

single

one

of

them

I didn't know what to do. How should I react? Time froze for me. Daehwi and Chaerin didn't say anything and they just looked at me, dreading for my reaction.

How should I react? What should I have thought?

I could react angrily. That the police had been so careless. But then again, it was my parents. They were incredibly hard to capture, then keep them captured. I didn't want to be angry, but I was. 

I also could have cried. Sadness. It seemed right to be sad. But why? Because my memories had flooded back? It didn't make sense.

The most reasonable one was to be scared. Afraid. Terrified. Mortified. 

I should be scared that my parents were free. That they could come back to me and harm me. That their last words to me was "We'll be back. And when we come back, you should fear us. Remember us. And you will join our pain." 

That had scared me for days. Weeks. Months. Years. It still freaked me out. And now, it was even worse. I was terrified. For those innocent people out there who could be harmed by my parents. They didn't deserve it. No one did. Did I deserve it?

"What?" I whispered instead. "What?"

Chaerin and Daehwi looked at me, pity, scared as well, afraid, angry, upset; all those different emotions in their eyes.

"Y/N, we'll protect you-" Daehwi said but I interrupted him.

"No. You can't. It's my parents were talking about. You were there Daehwi. You remember them. No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone from them." I said firmly. 

"What do we do?" Chaerin asked, and I could see fear in her eyes. She didn't know my parents as well as Daehwi but she still had heard of the terrible things that they had done. 

"We can't do anything. We just have to stay safe." I said, trying to stay brave but I knew that they weren't buying it. They both had known me for years and knew me too well.

"I-I need to go now, "I stammered and started moving off the bed.

"Y/N! You're injured!" Daehwi argued and tried to stop me but I waved him off. Even though it hurt, moving any part of my body, the pain wasn't as bad as the emotional pain.

"I'm fine. I need to go somewhere," I argued and then set my feet on the floor. The pain was better now. I could handle it.

"Y/N-" Daehwi tried and used his arm to try and stop me but Chaerin tugged him on the arm. 

"She'll be fine," Chaerin whispered to Daehwi and he looked at her unconvinced but drew his arm back.

"I'll be back at home if you need me," I said and took a step. Each step was more pain but was getting better.

"And I'll be needing my phone."

"Jisung, I'm scared." I cried on the phone. I had taken a taxi home, and as soon as I arrived home I limped upstairs and went onto my bed. Then, I had called Jisung.

"What's wrong Y/N?" he asked, and I could hear that he was worried but I just cried.

"Don't worry Y/N, I'm here," Jisung said softly. 

"Can you-u meet me somewhere?" I asked, feeling guilty. I didn't want to drag him away from anything but I was desperate. I didn't know why I wanted Jisung and not Daehwi or Chaerin. My heart and mind told me to get comfort from him. But there was nothing much he could do. Except fill that gap in my heart. 

Jisung's POV

I knew I had to tell her but I couldn't now. There couldn't be a more terrible time to tell her. But I had too. There was no other time.

"Y/N. I need to tell you something." Something was wrong with my voice. It was shaking and cracking.

"Jisung?" she cried from the phone.

"I'm leaving Ulsan for a month to go back home to Seoul. I won't be able to see you again for 6 months."