Since Nine Book 3: Shattered

Anger

CHAPTER 11

RAMCEL

Ramcel thought of harming herself for being stupid. Her eyes, her heart, her body, her senses. All of her being would always betray her whenever Victoria was around. Hindi nya mapigilan ang puso nyang tumibok nang malakas kapag nasa malapit lang ito. Hindi mapigilan ng mga mata nyang tumingin rito kapag nasa paligid lang ito. She couldn’t stop herself from worrying when she heard Victoria screamed with fear.

Nang marinig nyang sumigaw ito noong unang gabi nya sa isla, kumabog ang puso nya sa takot para rito. She never heard Victoria screamed like that before. Her fear was heart breaking like she couldn’t do anything to take it away from her.

Since Jenny was busy at the back preparing the grill by the pool, Ramcel endulged herself to freely stare at Victoria who was peacefully sleeping on the sofa. She seemed to be at peace until her forehead creased and she heard her say “Who’s there?” then she heard that fearful scream again.

Next thing she knew, she was at Victoria’s side and she enveloped her in her arms until her body stopped shaking. “Baby” even slipped off from her mouth. Gusto tuloy nyang batukan ang sarili.

“Laway mo, tumutulo na,” bulong ni Jenny sa kanya sabay nang-aasar na tumawa. “Baka matunaw si Vi.”

Sinamaan nya ito nang tingin habang gusto nyang sabunutan ang sarili dahil napatitig sya nang makitang nagtanggal ng t-shirt at shorts si Vi kaya nalantad ang sexyng katawan nitong naka-white two piece bathing suit. Napalunok sya dahil ang hot nito habang naglalakad sa pool sabay dive sa tubig.

“Eh kung ikaw kaya ang tunawin ko sa init ng ulo ko?” Iritable nyang sabi rito pero lalo lang syang tinawanan nito. Hinihintay nya ang iniihaw nitong barbeque kaya ang mga cheese sticks ang kanina pa nya binabanatan.

Bukod sa splash ng tubig na nagmumula sa paglalangoy ni Victoria sa pool, tahimik ang paligid. She had to admit, Jenny got taste for choosing this island. Bukod sa hindi crowded unlike other famous beaches and islands in the Philippines, Ramcel liked that the place was very tranquil. It was paradise. They were so closed to nature. She loved looking at the fire trees and Pride of India outside her bedroom. Kita rin mula sa kinaroroonan nya ang mga puno kaya kahit nasasaktan sya sa tuwing nakikita si Victoria, nababawasan ang sakit.

There were yellow bells nearby and a lot of trees she couldn’t name. Maybe the serenity of the place softened her heart kaya nagawa nyang mag-alala at yakapin si Victoria kanina. “Sige Ram, excuse pa more,” pagalit na sabi ng utak nya. “Jen…” Napatingin sa kanya ang kaibigan habang pinapaypayan ang iniihaw nito. “Madalas ba syang magkaganun?”

“Sino?”

“S-Si Vi.” Ramcel paused. Wala namang masamang maging concern right? “Kagabi pa sya nananaginip ng masama.”

Parang nag-aalalangang tumingin sa kanya si Jenny. Tila may gusto itong sabihin pero nagtatalo ang damdamin nito. “Maybe she’s just really stressed out,” sabi nito. Pakiramdam ni Ramcel hindi ito nagsasabi nang totoo.

Bakit pa ba nya iniisip si Victoria? Ano bang pakialam nya rito? Pumayag lang syang magbakasyon kasama ng mga ito dahil kay Jenny at pagkatapos nun, kanya-kanya na sila ni Vi. Wala syang balak makipaglapit ulit rito. She couldn’t be friends with her. “Dahil mahal mo pa sya,” tudyo ng isip nya.

Unfortunately, that’s a truth she couldn’t deny to herself. She never stopped loving her all these years. Maraming magagandang babaing pwede nyang makuha pero hanggang ngayon si Victoria pa rin. Getting back together was not an option either.

She felt a small amount of happiness when Victoria told her she still loved her. She saw a glimmer of hope that it was possible for someone like her to be happy. But she couldn’t gamble her heart anymore.

Baka umasa na naman syang may forever pagkatapos iiwanan lang sya sa ere. She could still remember what Tita Jam told her. To always believe in love. That’s bullshit! Love only applies to lucky people and she’s not one of them. That’s what she reminded herself last night when she kissed Victoria.

Damn, she missed her soft lips against hers. She was almost lost with its sweetness. Buti na lang natauhan sya agad. She must never forget that Victoria was the woman who shattered her heart.

“I thought my love for you is strong enough to make me stay.” Victoria’s letter resounded in her head. Her jaw clenched when she remembered it. She hated herself for having strong memory. She knew every word written on it by heart. But maybe that’s a good thing, to remind herself not to fall for Vi’s lies.

“Ram…” Marahang putol ni Jenny sa iniisip nya. Napatingin sya rito. “I know it’s stupid for me to ask pero hindi mo na ba mapapatawad si Vi? Hindi ko naman sinasabing magkabalikan kayo. Can you at least be friends again? Just for the sake of friendship na lang. Nakakapanghinayang din kasi.”

“Yes, it’s stupid of you to ask that.” Unti-unting bumabangon ang poot sa dibdib nya. Matalim syang tumingin kay Jenny. “Hindi rin naman sya nanghinayang sa samahan namin when she chose to break my heart. Iniwan nya ako, Jenny. Sinaktan nya ako ng sobra. Ipinagpalit nya ako sa iba. Hindi pwedeng darating na lang ulit sya sa buhay ko na parang walang nangyari.”

“Hindi ba kayo pwedeng mag-usap? Maybe she has reasons.”

“Reasons? Yes, she did have reasons. She left me because she’s in love with Hector. Binigay ko ng buong-buo ang puso ko pero pinili nyang iwanan ako. Nasaan na ngayon ang lalaki nya? Iniwan din sya?” Ramcel didn’t know what happened between Vi and Hector pero hindi na nya kailangang alamin pa. “Ngayong wala na si Hector, babalik sya sakin? You re the only reason I’m here, Jenny. Kung hindi lang sayo, hindi ako pupunta!”

“Gusto ko lang namang magkasundo-sundo tayo ulit like old times.” Isa si Jenny sa ilang mga taong hindi natitinag kapag tumatalim na ang tingin nya.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you pero hindi na mangyayari yun. In fact, pinagsisisihan kong naging magkakaibigan pa tayo!”

Jenny looked hurt. Kumurap-kurap ito para pigilan ang sariling umiyak. Great! Ngayon pati si Jenny nasaktan nya dahil kay Vi.

“You’re so mean, Ram. Ang tigas-tigas na nang puso mo!”

“Guys, please…you don’t have to fight because of me.” Lumapit na sa kanila si Victoria na hindi nila namalayang umahon na sa pool at napapalakas na rin ang boses nila ni Jenny.

Galit itong binalingan ni Ramcel. “This is all your fault. You shouldn’t have come here,” madiin nyang sabi rito. “Ginagamit mo pa si Jenny para makalapit sakin. Hinding-hindi kita mapapatawad kahit kailan. Didn’t I tell you that I’m so done with you?! Wala ka ng babalikan at hinding-hindi kita babalikan! Alam mo kung bakit?” Tinitigan nya ang mga mata nitong nangingilid ang luha. “Kasi pinagsawaan ka na ni Hector. Hindi ako kumakain nang tira-tira!” Victoria looked so hurt and she hated herself for saying that but she was fuming.

“Ram!” Jenny was horrified.

Hindi na nagsalita pa si Ramcel. Iniwan na lamang nya ang mga ito. Hindi na sya lumingon pa nang tawagin sya ni Jenny para pabalikin. Naglakad sya nang naglakad hanggang sa makarating sya sa beach kung saan walang masyadong tao. Umupo sya sa buhangin at tumitig sa dagat. The stunning blue water suddenly calmed her. She inhaled and exhaled repeatedly to control her rage.

“Marital issues?” She heard a familiar voice. Pag-angat nang tingin nya, Crystal was smilling at her amusely.

She’s really attractive, Ramcel thought appreciatively. Ngayong sober sya, mas napagmasdan nya itong mabuti. Matangkad din ito. Mapungay ang mga mata nitong almond shaped at may matangos na ilong. Nakaputing cotton blouse lang ito at shorts kaya litaw ang perfectly tanned legs nito. Nakaponytail ang mahaba at itim na buhok nito.

Hindi sya nagsalita. Ibinalik ulit ni Ramcel ang tingin sa dagat. Umupo ito malapit sa kanya. “Sorry about last night,” maya-maya ay sabi nya.

“Okay lang. I’m over it,” natawa nitong tugon. “That feisty woman last night is really your wife huh?” Tumango si Ramcel. “No wonder halos mamatay ako sa tingin pa lang nya.”

Natutuwa sya dati kapag nagseselos si Victoria dahil pakiramdam nya mahal na mahal sya nito at ayaw nitong maagaw sya ng iba. But now, anong karapatan nito? Nawalan na ito nang karapatan mula nang iwanan sya nito.

“Mukhang kailangan mo atang mapag-isa. I’ll just see you around then…” Tumayo ito at pinagpag ang buhangin sa shorts nito. “Gosh, I don’t even know your name. See you around, gorgeous.”

“At least let me buy you a drink,” sabi ni Ramcel kaya napatigil ito sa paglalakad. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to do that. Ayoko ng gulo.” Matipid itong ngumiti.

“I understand. See you around, Crystal,” sabi na lang nya at tumingin ulit sa dagat.

“Fine! You can buy me a drink!” Hindi pa pala ito umaalis. “Kapag sinugod ako ng asawa mo, kailangan mong humarang. Ayokong masugatan ang maganda kong mukha. Baka hindi na ako magka-boyfriend nyan,” birong dugtong nito.

“Boyfriend?” Napataas ang kilay na sabi ni Ramcel saka tumayo. “Don’t tell me, you were experimenting on me last night.”

“You are so judgmental. Hindi ba pwedeng, I’m bisexual?” Nakapameywang na sabi nito. “Ikaw nga eh, nakikipaglandian ka samantalang may asawa ka na.”

“My marital status is complicated.”

Instead of going for a drink, dumiretso sila sa isang restaurant ng resort para kumain. Ramcel enjoyed talking to Crystal while enjoying pasta and pizza. Wala syang sinasabi tungkol sa sarili nya kaya si Crystal ang mas nagku-kwento.

Isang Marketing Manager ng bangko si Crystal and it was her first time in three years to go on a vacation. Ramcel found it refreshing to listen to someone’s life. It kept her mind off Victoria temporarily.

“Thank you for spending your time with a stranger,” sabi ni Ramcel habang naglalakad sila sa dalampasigan kasabay nang paglubog ng araw.

“You looked like you needed someone to talk to earlier. Kahit wala ka namang sinabi tungkol sa sarili mo at ako lang ang dumaldal, it’s okay. It was nice talking to you,” she said kindly. Yumakap lang ito saglit sa kanya saka na ito naunang umalis.

Bumalik na rin sya sa villa nila. Ngayong medyo malinaw na ang isipan nya, she felt terrible about what happened earlier at the pool. Umakyat sya sa taas at dumiretso sa bukas na kwarto ni Jenny. Naabutan nyang nag-iimpake ito ng mga damit.

“What are you doing?” Napakunot ang noo ni Ramcel.

“I’m packing, obviously,” medyo masungit na sabi ni Jenny.

“Jen, I’m so…”

“No, Ram. Ako dapat ang magsorry.” Tumigil ito sa ginagawa at tumingin sa kanya. “Obviously, this is a bad idea. It was stupid of me to think na magkakabati kayo nang ganun-ganun lang ni Vi. Gusto ko lang talagang magkasama-sama tayo ulit but if you can’t stand being around her, hindi ko na ipipilit pa,” malungkot nitong sabi. “Alam kong nasaktan ka ni Victoria pero yung mga sinabi mo sa kanya, she didn’t deserve that. That wasn’t you, Ram.”

“I know.” Nadala sya nang matinding galit kanina.

“Pack your things, we are checking out tomorrow. This vacation is offically over,” Jenny said with finality.