Since Nine Book 3: Shattered

Troubled

CHAPTER 37

RAMCEL

“Don’t waste time.” Sumagi na naman sa isip ni Ramcel ang tinuran ng kanyang lola. She started regretting not following her advice. If she didn’t become cynical, maybe things would have been different. What if she’d lose Victoria for good this time?

No! She couldn’t entertain that negative thought. Ramcel kept pacing back and forth in Victoria’s room. She was raging inside like how the storm outside was raging and devastating the entire country.

Nababalot nang takot ang puso ni Ramcel dahil hindi nya alam kung ligtas nga ba talaga si Victoria. She was somewhere faraway from her and with no way of communicating with her. Sinubukan nyang tawagan nang tawagan ang cellphone nito pero puro out of reach message ang nakukuha nya. Wala na sigurong signal sa kinaroroonan nito.

Gustuhin man nyang sundan si Victoria ngunit napakalakas na ng ulan at hangin sa labas. Ang tanging magagawa nya ay ipagdasal ang kaligtasan nito. But as soon as the typhoon cleared, sya na mismo ang pupunta kay Victoria.

Kasagsagan pa nang pananalasa ng bagyo kaya hindi na sya pinaalis ni Tita Isabelle. Doon na lamang daw sya magpalipas ng gabi.

Ramcel sat on the side of the bed frustratedly. Hindi na naman nya mapigilang umiyak. She’d been crying since after talking to Monica. Nagkulong sya sa kwarto ni Victoria at niyakap ang unan nito.

Kung hindi ba sya umalis noon papuntang Norway, hindi ba mangyayari ang lahat nang iyon? Hindi ba mararanasan ni Victoria ang hirap sa mga kamay ni Hector?

Her heart was filled with anger, thinking that Victoria really left her for him. She was full of resentment that she even threw hurtful words towards Vi. How could life be so cruel for both of them?

It was Reena all over again. Did history repeat itself? Kung hindi sya pumasok sa bahay noon at iniwan ang kakambal sa labas ng bahay, hindi ito masasagasaan. Kapiling pa rin sana nila si Reena. They kept telling her it wasn’t her fault but sometimes she couldn’t help but blame herself.

It was the same question with Victoria. What if she didn’t leave her? Ramcel felt self-hatred for not being able to protect Vi. It was Victoria who protected her instead. Her heartbreaking letter suddenly resonated in her mind.

Ram,

I’m sorry. I couldn't think of anything to make this easier. I thought my love for you is strong enough to make me stay. But it's not. I must follow my heart.

You must be wondering why I'm doing this. I fell in love with someone else. It was unexpected. Hindi ko sinasadya. Akala ko ikaw lang ang kaya kong mahalin but I was wrong. I tried to fight it. I tried to stay in love with you but my feelings for him is stronger.

I woke up realizing that whatever we have is not what I want. Gusto kong magka-anak. Gusto kong bumuo ng pamilya. Those are things na hindi ko magagawa if we're together.

When she first read it, it devastated her. Every word inflicted pain in her heart. But it must have hurt Victoria more when she wrote it. She did it to push Ramcel away.

I know how much you love me and I thank you for that. You must be furious right now. I am sorry for hurting you but I must say goodbye. I have to do this. I hope that someday you would understand why I did what I did. It all made sense now. Naiintindihan na nya kung bakit sya nito iniwan. Victoria was trapped and she couldn’t escape.

Ramcel realized that there was a hidden message. I am doing this because I am choosing the one that I trully love. Victoria was referring to Ramcel not Hector. Pinili nitong sumama sa lalaki para ilayo sya kay Hector. Pinili nitong magsakripisyo dahil mahal na mahal sya nito.