Since Nine Book 3: Shattered

Starting Over

CHAPTER 27

VICTORIA

Nag-aalangan pa rin sya kay Ramcel, who seemed to be friendlier towards her. Hindi nya alam kung ang pagtrato nyang ito sa kanya ay dahil lamang kay Jenny. Maybe that was it, she thought. Ramcel must be doing it for Jenny and Victoria was okay with it. She preferred that than seeing Ramcel’s death glare.

“Dapat mag-aral ka ng magluto dahil mag-aasawa ka na. Anong ipapakain mo kay Joshua, uling?” Nakairap na komento ni Ramcel nang sinabi ni Jenny na on the way palang ang pagkaing in-order nito. Pinag-day off din kasi nito ang mga kasambahay so they had the house all to themselves.

“I can teach you, Jen,” Victoria said. Nakasalampak silang tatlo sa sala nina Jenny at kumakain ng nachos. Pare-pareho na silang nakadamit-pambahay.

“Turuan mo kami pareho ni Ramcel,” napangiting suggestion ni Jenny.

“Bakit pa ako mag-aaral kung ipagluluto naman ako ni Vi?” Natigilan si Ramcel sa sinabi nito. Napatitig din sila ni Jenny sa tinuran nito. “I mean…”

“Of course, ipagluluto kita,” Victoria said softly. Matipid syang ngumiti kay Ramcel, na naghesitate noong una pero ngumiti rin. Vi had to take her eyes away from that smile for her heart suddenly fluttered.

Doon na rin sila kumain nang sa wakas ay dumating ang Chinese food na pinadeliver ni Jenny. Panay ang kwento ng kaibigan tungkol sa preparation ng wedding nito. Very satisfied ito sa wedding planner na nakuha nito dahil ito na mismo ang halos umaasikaso ng lahat kaya hindi masyadong stressed ang kaibigan.

“My only problem is, who will be the Maid of Honor?” Tanong ni Jenny at nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin nito sa kanilang dalawa ni Ramcel.

“I love you Jenny, but I don’t like speaking in front of everybody,” agad na sabi ni Ramcel at mabilis ring kinuha ang natitirang kutchay dumpling sa karton na gusto rin sanang kunin ni Jenny. “Have Victoria do it. In fact, pwede bang simpleng bisita na lang ako?”

Napabuntong-hininga na lang si Jenny habang nginunguya ni Ramcel ang pagkain. “Hindi pwede. You must be part of the entourage.” Jenny frowned at Ramcel, who rolled her eyes.

“You should be the Maid of Honor, Ram. Mas matagal na kayong magkaibigan ni Jenny,” sabi naman ni Victoria. She’d love to do it but it was more appropriate if Ramcel would.

Ramcel groaned. “Just let me do the cord thing so I could have the chance to strangle you,” she told Jenny.

“Bwisit ka talaga!” Singhal ni Jenny at pinukpok sa braso ang tatawa-tawang si Ramcel. “Eh kung ikaw kaya ang sakalin ko?!”

“Ako na lang yung cord, si Vi na lang yung candle para sunugin nya yung gown mo,” natatawang sabi ni Ramcel kaya lalo itong pinukpok ni Jenny hanggang sa mauwi ang mga ito sa kilitian.

“Walanghiya ka talaga. Monique Lhuillier yun!” Pabirong sinasakal ni Jenny si Ramcel, na tawa ng tawa.

“So? Kahit Valentino pa yan, hindi mo naman yun ikakaganda!” Tuloy pa ring pang-aasar ni Ramcel.

Victoria tried suppressing her laugh but Jenny’s face was so funny when she glared at her so she burst out laughing in the end. “Dyan kayo magaling na dalawa. Ang magkampihan against me,” kunwari nagtatampong sabi ni Jenny. Sabay na silang tumawa ni Ramcel, na malambing na niyakap si Jenny. “Pag-usapan nyong dalawa kung sino ang magiging Maid of Honor. Let me know as soon as possible dahil kayong dalawa na lang ang hindi pa nasusukatan ng gown.”

Awkward pa rin sa kanya si Ramcel. Hindi sya nito binibiro o inaasar katulad nang dati ngunit kuntento na sya kesa naman galit ang ipakita nito sa kanya. Kita pa ring may lungkot sa mga mata ni Ramcel at naa-appreciate ni Victoria na nag-e-effort itong magpaka-civil sa kanya.

Tuloy ang kwentuhan nila. Victoria told them about her trip. Natuwa si Jenny sa shawl na binigay nya. Gustuhin man nyang ibigay kay Ramcel ang sing-sing na binili nya, she just gave her few bars of chocolates she bought from Chocolat instead. Ramcel threw her a polite smile and a thank you.

They called it a night when Jenny kept yawning. Vi couldn’t sleep. Hindi nya mawari kung dahil ba sa jet lag kaya hindi sya dalawin ng antok or the bed felt empty without Ramcel. It was the same room where they slept as a couple before.

She already called her mom that she’s back. She tried to watch an old movie on HBO but she was wide awake. Victoria decided to get out of her room and get a glass of milk. When she got to the kitchen, she stopped on her track because Ramcel was there too.

Engrossed ito sa pagta-type sa laptop nito kaya hindi pa sya nito napapansin. Sinamantala ni Victoria na pagmasdan ito. Nakakunot ang noo nito at mukhang galit. Malamang na galit rin ang character na sinusulat nito. Vi loved watching whenever Ramcel writes. She could see her face and eyes transition from one emotion to another. Minsan napapaluha pa ito dahil nadadala sa sinusulat nito.

Ilang minuto rin nyang pinanood si Ramcel bago sya tumikhim para ipaalam ang presensya nya. Nag-angat ito nang tingin saka alanganing ngumiti nang makita sya. “Can’t sleep?” Tanong nito sa kanya.

“Yes. Kukuha lang ako ng milk,” tugon nya at dumireso sa ref saka kinuha ang gatas na nasa carton. “Want some?” Nagsalin sya sa baso nya.

“Sure.” Nagpatuloy ito sa pagta-type sa laptop nito. Iiwanan na sana ito ni Victoria pagkalapag ng isang basong gatas nito sa mesa. “H-How are you?” Napatigil sya at humarap dito. “I heard, you have a catering business?” First time syang kinumusta nito kaya hindi sya agad nakasagot. “Why don’t you tell me about it?” Ramcel indicated the seat across from her.

Victoria didn’t hesitate anymore and sat infront of Ramcel, but she had to contain her excitement. She missed talking to her. “I started it two years ago after I finished Culinary Arts. Chef Alejandro encouraged me to do it.”

Napakunot ang noo ni Ramcel. “Two years ago? 2013? Did you stop?”

Victoria knew Ramcel was calculating in her mind.

“Yeah…I temporarily stopped. I got busy with…something else.”

“You mean, someone else.” Anger flashed on Ramcel’s eyes but it was gone quickly and replaced with pain.

Hindi nakasagot si Victoria. Ramcel was referring to Hector. Tama naman ito pero hindi kagaya nang iniisip nito. She couldn’t blame her though since that’s what she wanted Ramcel to believe. Dapat nga ba nyang sabihin rito ang totoo? Kapag ginawa ba nya yun, babalikan sya nito?

“No,” Victoria told herself. She couldn’t let Ramcel know about it. 

“Kumusta na si Tita Isabelle?” Maya-maya’y tanong ni Ramcel. Kung anuman ang pait na nararamdaman nito’y hindi na kita sa mga mata nito. She was genuinely interested now with Victoria’s mother.

“She’s a Bank Manager in Makati. She loves her job kahit madalas syang nai-stressed,” naiiling na sabi ni Vi.

“Mukhang wala pang balak mag-retire ni Tita,” napangiting sabi ni Ramcel.

“Naku, wala pa. Kapag wala syang pasok, tinutulungan nya ako kapag maraming order. Or she spends her time reading books. She’s a fan of Hiwaga sa Dako Pa Roon by the way.” Ginawang libro ni Ramcel ang dating fantasy short story nito. She turned it into a series and it was a hit among children and children at heart. Tatlong libro na ang nailabas and Ramcel was set to release the last installment that year.  “Tinutukso nga nya ako to have you autographed her copies.”

“Sure.”

“R-Really?” Nabiglang sabi ni Victoria. Tinitigan nya si Ramcel, na tumango at bahagyang ngumiti. Hindi nya inaasahan yun. Kahit ang pakikipag-usap nito sa kanya was unexpected. Lahat nang ginagawa nito mula pa sa pagsundo nito sa kanya sa airport were all suprising. “Matutuwa nyan si Mama. Miss ka na nga nun eh.”

“I…I miss her too.” Titig na titig sa mga mata nya si Ramcel. Hindi man nito maamin, alam ni Victoria na miss rin sya nito. There was longing in Ramcel’s eyes but there’s hesitation too. And fear. “Are you getting a lot of orders?” 

“Yes.” Nakahinga nang maluwag si Vi nang bawiin ni ramcel ang titig sa kanya. Baka hindi na kasi sya makapagpigil at halikan ito. She told her about her catering business. Nakikinig lang si Ramcel at nagtatanong paminsan-minsan.

From her business, their topic switched to Ramcel’s book. Kasalukuyan raw nitong ginagawa. Medyo pressured at kabado ito dahil baka hindi nito mabigyan ng epic ending ang kwento. Nangawit sila pareho sa pagkakaupo kaya lumipat sila sa mahabang sofa para mas kumportable. Nagtimpla din sila ng coffee and ate pretzels with it. One topic led to another. Hanggang sa hindi na nila namalayang ala singko na pala ng umaga. Naabutan sila ni Jenny sa salang nagtatawanan about a funny movie they both saw.

“Hindi kayo natulog?” May panunukso ang mga tingin ni Jenny sa kanilang dalawa.

“Sleep is for the weak you know?” Ramcel teased.

“Dahil dyan, ikaw ang magdrive papuntang Antipolo,” nakapameywang na sabi ni Jenny.

“Antipolo?” Napakunot ang noong sabi ni Ramcel. “Anong gagawin natin dun?”

“Magsisimba. Kaya tumayo na kayo dyan. Take a bath and get dress as quickly as you can,” sagot ni Jenny saka sila nito tinalikuran.

Narinig pa ni Victoria na nagkomento si Ramcel na bakit hindi na lang sa malapit magsimba pero tumayo na rin ito at sabay silang umakyat sa kani-kaniyang kwarto. Mabilis na nagshower si Victoria. She chose to wear jeans, white sleeveless blouse topped with maroon cardigan and comfortable low cut sneakers. She had a feeling they weren’t only going to attend mass.

After an hour, they were on their way to Antipolo using Ramcel’s BMW. Nagdrive thru na lang sila para makakain habang nasa biyahe. Dahil si Victoria ang nasa passenger’s seat, na palagay nya’y sinadya ni Jenny, sinusubuan nya paminsan-minsan ng fries o kaya hash brown si Ramcel. Sinikap nyang huwag manginig ang mga kamay dahil ang lakas ng tibok ng puso nya. Habang kita nyang medyo namumula ang pisngi ni Ramcel.

Swerteng nakakuha pa sila ng upuan sa may bandang likuran ng church. Pinagitnaan nila si Ramcel kaya pakiramdam nya aatakehin sya sa puso nang maghawak sila nito ng kamay habang kumakanta ng Ama Namin. Muntik pa nyang halikan si Ramcel nang ngitian sya nito sabay “Peace be with you.” Nag-usal sya ng dasal para humingi ng tawad. She was out of focus during Homily because aside from being close to Ramcel, her Lightblue scent was penetrating her smell. In fact, she didn’t absorb anything during the whole mass.

Nakahinga sya nang maluwag pagkatapos ng misa. She was surprised she didn’t faint inside. Ngingiti-ngiti si Jenny sa kanya pero binalewala lang nya. As suspected, hindi sila umuwi agad. They went to Pinto Art Museum after Ramcel bought a lot of cashew nuts.

“Anong gagawin natin dito? Matagal pa ang pasko,” reklamo ni Ramcel habang nagpa-park sa parking lot ng Casa Santa, to check out Santa Clause collection. Nakasimangot itong sumunod sa kanila ni Jenny.

Napansin ni Victoria na nawala ang pagkayamot ni Ramcel nang pumasok sila sa loob kung saan punong- puno ng iba’t- ibang klase ng Santa Clause.

When Victoria saw the fireplace, she remembered the one they had at home in New York. She and Ramcel would sit near it during the winter and sip hot chocolate. They snuggled and kept each other warm. She also recalled teaching Ramcel how to ice skate in Central Park.

Victoria used to hate winter until Ramcel came. She learned to love walking along the street even it was freezing cold as long as they were together. She enjoyed decorating her home and Ramcel’s apartment. She loved shopping for holiday gifts. That was the best Christmas ever.

From the longing look that Ramcel threw her from across the room, Victoria was sure they were both reminiscing those magical moment.

May pag-asa pa kayang tanggapin sya nitong muli? Maghihintay naman sya kahit gaano katagal. Si Ramcel lang naman ang tanging nagmamay-ari ng kanyang puso at sigurado na sya doon.

Nagtake-out sila ng coffee bago dumiretso sa Pililla Windmills. Ramcel started to get sleepy so Victoria took over. She admired the smooth BWM, which was a gift from Eleanor because Ramcel refused to replace her old Honda Civic.

Pinauna na sila ni Jenny dahil tumitingin pa ito ng mga bibilhing souvenir. May mangilan-ngilang turista dun katulad nila. Huminto sila para pagmasdan ang Laguna de Bay sa baba.

“I’m sorry,” Victoria heard Ramcel say. “For the way I treated you last time.”

“I deserved it,” sambit nya. “Sinaktan kita at tama lang na magalit ka sakin.”

“Pagod na akong magalit sayo.” Tumitig ito sa mga mata nya. “For years, I resented you. I don’t want that feeling anymore. Gusto ko ng palayain ang sarili ko sa galit. I won’t pretend and say I completely forgive you. I won’t ever forget what happened, Vi but I don’t want to be consumed with hatred. So I want to start over.” The hope in Victoria’s heart started to lessen little by little. Hindi na ba nito kayang pakisamahan sya? “Gusto ko sanang magsimula tayong muli. As friends.”

Napatitig si Victoria rito. Tama ba ang narinig nya? Magsimula daw sila ulit as friends? “This time, I’m serious. No pretentions. I want us to be friends again,” dugtong nito. Victoria saw Ramcel’s lips moved so it must be true those words came from her mouth.

“R-Really?” Victoria had to make sure. Ramcel nodded. Sa sobrang saya nya, hindi na nya napigilang yumakap rito. Ang stiff nito noong una pero gumanti rin ito nang yakap. Victoria closed her eyes and took in her favorite scent in the universe. “Wala nang bawian ah,” sabi nya rito nang hindi pa rin bumibitaw sa pagkakayakap dito. Ramcel laughed softly.

“Wala nang bawian. Kaso Vi, sabi ko friends na tayo ulit pero kung makayakap ka dyan akala mo close friends na tayo,” biro nitong sabi. Tumawa lang sya pero hindi pa rin sya bumitaw. Kinapalan na nya ang mukha nya dahil namiss nya talaga si Ramcel. Kahit nung friends pa naman sila lagi naman syang yumayakap rito kaya normal lang naman di ba? “Pinagtitinginan na tayo.”

Victoria didn’t care about others but she reluctantly let go of Ramcel, who was looking at her intently. “Thank you, Ram. Thank you for giving me another chance.” Her heart almost stopped when Ramcel smiled and pulled her into another hug.

“Bati na kayo?” Jenny looked happy.

“Yeah. We are friends with benefits now,” Ramcel said. They all laughed.