value || jikook

end notr

holy cow, I've done it

I've finally finished this book after completing the writing over 2 ish years ago

someone call me slow, because god damn was i exactly that when uploading

life gets in the way, i go through things, and that's prolly what kept me away but that's not an excuse to take so long aha

especially w such a lackluster ending

i won't change the story in any way because i have this account meant as a marker of my growth as a writer

and this book being the last bts fanfic ill probably ever write, i think it's fitting for it to be a timeline of when i started and stopped

although i might not ever write another kpop fanfic, it's not impossible ill do it again. just my morals of writing fanfiction with real people have shifted kind of.

we all know fanfic and especially fanfic of actual people with actual people they know is a fantasy for the writer and other fans- all meant in good fun.

but it has made me think, if bts was ever to stumble upon the sheer amount of gay bts fanfic including smut in it, of them with their fellow band mates, man i wouldnt even be able to imagine the disgust, the awkwardness and the embarrassment they'd feel

i know they've said it makes them uncomfortable in the past, but just IMAGINE since they are all learning English seriously now

imagine accidentally stumbling upon a twitter account of that type of thing, an instagram thing, or even this app if they were to ever- ESPECIALLY those horrid BTS moaning complications on YouTube - let me just go die

you know what i think you get the point lolol

none of us mean our stories as if it were real, fanfic writers, none of us mean any harm and fanfic is usually an expression of our interpretation of what could be, or a fantasy, or creative expression

so overall, i may end up not writing anymore fanfic of kpop, let alone bts, but it isn't impossible

i might decide to write something else, bc i do have three boss books ideas for jikook and allkook, i just haven't finished the plot yet- and who knows maybe I never will

HOWEVER

TADASHI

this books itself has now come to a close.

it is one of the more 'depth in emotion' type of stories I've attempted to write instead of action-action, ive gotten better, but you can see at the time i wasn't aware there are plenty of plot holes in this book

many many different ways i could have taken this, one specific way i almost did but i was in a hurry and just went off w the books potential

all in all, im glad i tried writing something like this. a little more angst, though it's a temporary angst. a little more depth to character, or reasoning or personality- or at least i tried lmao

SORRY FOR RAMBLING AS MUCH AS I HAVE i just have a lot on my mind now that 2019 is coming to an end and all this stuff that's happening or going to happen

i want you all to know i am so so happy you made it to the end and enjoyed it

if you didn't enjoy it, tell me why, ill probably agree w you lolol

thank you to all of you who commented and voted or shared and went through the emotions with the characters

i even appreciate the moments of conversation ive had with some of you

so thank you for reading 🙏🏻

im glad to have taken you on the journey, even if it isn't all that good and the ending wasn't that good either

happy 2k19 holidays
happy bday to anyone whose bday is near
happy new year
happy 2020

i hope you all are taking care of yourself, staying out of trouble, making memories while you can, thinking of the future while living in the moment, being kind, not falling into the pattern of hate everyone has nowadays

don't think the same as anyone else :)

i love you all, and lastly, once again , thank you for reading this complex mess of a book

bye bye! <3

amd
good luck w your life! im rooting for you!