Friends with Mister J

Chapter 4

"Bat's who is this?"

"I don't know his name, but he seems to be a friend to the Joker."

"Who is stupid enough to be friends with the Joker?"

I woke up with a groan, my entire body feeling like I was just run over. The tranquilizer was wearing off and my eyes were clearing. There was a small kid in a yellow cape, there was a bigger kid in a red cape, a bigger bigger kid who had a bluebird... maybe... on his chest, and lastly there was a bigger bigger bigger kid in a red helmet.

There was also a man in a bat costume but who cares about him.

"Hello... I'm still alive down here... I think..." The five looked strangely at me as I looked at my hands like a crazy person.

"Tsk. Who are you, animal?" The tiny kid said.

"Your mom."

"My mom's an assassin."

"My mom's dead," I smirked at his surprised expression.

"Well, that's a conversation starter." The bigger bigger kid with the bluebird chest thing said.

"Why thank you, I do love a good conversation."

I was tied up with rope in a dark room. I controlled everything, and they would never even know. I slowly cut the rope with my shadows, careful to not make an abundance of noise. When the rope was cut, I continued with my act.

"So, you took my phone huh. Do you think I could have it back?" The man in the overpriced bat costume chuckled.

"You only had three numbers on that phone, why would you want it back?" He handed my phone to the red helmet guy, who smashed it on the ground. Bat guy was not happy about that, neither was red cape.

"I didn't get to hack that yet!" Red cape said, hitting red helmet on the arm. Red helmet shrugged and looked back at me.

My smirk had turned into a frown as I watched the tragedy. He was right though, I only had J's, Percy's, and Chiron's number on my phone. The rest of my contacts were on my Skype account. Guess I'm going to have to add J and Perce to my Skype account. I was tempted to disappear into the shadows and run away, but I was also tempted to get more intel from my new enemy. For research purposes of course.

"So, what are we doing here? If you think I'm just going to wimp out and spill the beans on whatever you think I'm going to spill the beans on, you're gravely mistaken." Red helmet laughed dryly.

"We just want to know what you're doing with the Joker."

I looked at him surprised. "He's my neighbor. Look, I recently moved into the neighborhood, he just showed me around and was super helpful towards me. He's a good guy, honestly."

"He eats children for breakfast." Red helmet said. I blinked and blinked again.

"Whaaaat?" Red cape slapped red helmet.

"Joker doesn't eat children. But he is a psychopathic murderer who kills for fun and when he feels like it. He robs, brutally hurts innocent citizens, and is just evil in general." Bluebird explained, separating the reds.

"I've met worse."

They all looked at me for a long time.

"Anyway," Bluebird said, "He's your neighbor?"

"Yep. He wanted to get into my house, I said no, he pulled a gun, I said I had no idea who he was, he introduced himself, we became friends, he left, and I went to the kitchen."

"That's how it happened?"

"If you want the larger version of the story read chapter one. Otherwise, I gotta split. See you later, but I'm hoping never. Bye weirdos."

"Wait!" But I had already dissolved into the shadows and back into my house. I walked up to my room and flopped down on my bed. It's been a long day.

Happy birthday to me.