Friends with Mister J

Chapter 5

   WARNING. WARNING. MAJOR LAUGHTER AND COMEDY AHEAD. WARNING. WARNING.

   "Can you believe them J? I get the whole check-on-the-new-neighbor-because-they're-suspicious but that crossed a line. I mean seriously, who abducts a person straight out of that person's own car?" I argued, taking a sip of my tea. J and I were at Starbucks chatting about life and the evil's of the Gotham 'heroes'.

   "Well what did you expect Neeks, they're the Bat and bitches gang. No one in their right mind actually likes them." J was eating a lemon glaze muffin, and somehow he had managed to get the crumbs in his hair.

   "Yeah sure but still. What sane person does that?"

   "The Bat and bitches gang. But you do realize that I'm not the sanest person either right?"

   "Yes, I understand that. But even you aren't that bad. I'm still alive and kicking." 

   I took another sip of my tea. It wasn't that great but I still felt like I had to drink it. I didn't want to appear wasteful. J seemed to notice my dislike and took my cup away from me. he tossed it in the bushes and told me not to pick it up. I tried to look away but by instinct I got up and picked up the garbage. J seemed to smirk at something behind me. I turned around slowly to see a woman in green looked at me with a blank face.

   "You picked up the garbage?" She said, her hands on her hips.

   "Was I not supposed to...?" I said my voice trailing off. She looked like an angry and greener Demeter child or maybe she was just blessed...

   "I'm glad that you did that, I appreciate those who care about the world and its purity."

   "Thank you? It's an instinct, my aunt taught me to take care of the environment." That wasn't a full lie, Demeter was always hard on me to make the plants not  die, but there are still some technical difficulties.

   Joker soon was leaning on my shoulders to support himself, his face still a smile. He greeted the green woman and introduced us. Ivy- plant woman, as J called her. I watched her eyes roll and next to her the flower buds bloomed.

   Amazing.

   Joker and I walked away from our outside table at Starbucks, Ivy accompanying us. She was telling me about all the people who were hurting the plants and how she could feel their sorrow. I was never a plant guy, but even I had to feel bad for them. Joker was taking to Ivy about some chemical plant when the second greatest idea in the history of greatest ideas came to me.

   "Ivy, you can control plants right?"

   "That is correct."

   "What if you could make the plants invincible, unable to be hurt by normal people."

   "I'd say you're a miracle worker. Your plan seems good but where would you find something that powerful?"

   "I'll be right back." I stepped into J's shadow and traveled to the Underworld.

   My father wasn't on his throne, so he must of been in a meeting. I searched around for the goddess I wanted, but I stopped politely to say Hi to Persephone. I asked her where I could find her mother, and she pointed me in the direction of her room. I thanked her and continued on walking.

   At last I arrived to Demeter's room. It was rather large, plantings filling the room to the brink. Demeter was tending to a section of wheat plants when I shouted hello at her. She turned around suspiciously and shouted hello back at me. She walked over to me and gave me a gentle squeeze.

   "My goodness Nico, did you loose weight? You are way to skinny, you need more weight on you boy." Demeter's accent this time was Southern, last time we talked it was Irish.

   "Hello to you too Demeter. How are you?"

   "I'm alright, could be better though."

   I got straight to the reason I was here. She seemed interested in why I wanted to get a plant protector-thing and I said it was for a friend who really loved plants. She gave me a small vile and told me it could only be used on three plants of choice. To apply, put ten drops in one hand and gently rub the soil below the plant like so- she showed me how to do it on a rose bush. I graciously accepted the vile and thanked her, hugging her gentle.

   Before I left Demeter handed me a box of wheat cereal, saying it would come in handy when I needed it most. I thanked her again and stepped in her shadow, bringing myself back into the land of the living. J and Ivy were waiting patiently for me. I handed the vile to Ivy and told her what it was and how to apply it. She thanked me and gave me a hug.

   "What's with the cereal?" J asked me, shaking the box.

   "My aunt says I need to eat more, and cereal's step one."

   "Huh, interesting."

   "If I may," Ivy asked me, "where and how did you disappear?"

   "I went to my house, and I used the shadows to get there. It's kind of my thing."

   "Oh, alright."

   The three of us continued on, walking around Gotham, getting strange stares at people in the process. We walked back to my place where Ivy and J waved to me goodbye. I waved goodbye at them as well and closed my door behind me. 

   I am just meeting people by the day aren't I.

   I made my way to my kitchen and I opened the fridge. There was a tap on my shoulder and I turned around slowly. Blue bird was smiling at me.

   "Hey."

   "Hello." He proceeded to punch me in my face. I took it like a champ and punched him back. 

   In the end we both were tired and panting. We both had bruises an some open cuts, but nothing to major. I sat up, using my kitchen cabinets as a brace, he used my fridge as a brace. I could really only see with one eye, I couldn't tell if he was the same or whatever.

   "Ok, now lets just talk." Blue bird said, panting.

   "Yeah, ok." I said, panting as well.

   Gotta love a normal conversation.

(ya'll want me to make chap 6 now or wait later?)