bury a friend

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Phoebe shot out of bed, her pulse racing as her clammy hands gripped her crumpled sheets

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Phoebe shot out of bed, her pulse racing as her clammy hands gripped her crumpled sheets. Her panicked eyes glanced around the room, her heart slowing as she recognised her own bedroom and heard the familiar melody of the music that had become the soundtrack for the apartment. The music blanketing the overwhelming silence that now settled over the apartment. She sat up in her bed and looked to the door, seeing her still packed luggage. She evaded her eyes, not wanting to think of the atrocious black dress that resided inside. Looking at her clock she saw that it was 6am and decided it was an okay time to get up, 4 hours of sleep seemed to be the best she could do recently.

She ignored the missed calls and messages on her phone, not wanting to talk to anyone knowing that all their questions would be about the funeral. She didn't have the guts to tell them that she barely made it, stood in the back and left as soon as he was in the ground. She couldn't even look his family in the eye, any time his mothers glance neared her she hid her face in her umbrella. She was a coward and wanted to stay in her bubble of self pity for as long as she could.

She made her way through the apartment to the small kitchen to make her coffee, turning on all the lights as she went. She took out three mugs from the cabinet and began to pour the coffee before she realised and gently poured two away. She went to sit on the couch before she saw the scattered items of clothing covering it and evaded her eyes to the floor where she saw a pair of his shoes carelessly thrown. Even now he's trying to get her to clean up after him, but this is a mess that she couldn't handle just yet so she hastily walked to her bedroom and closed the door. She took a deep breath and let the music fill the silence and the coffee fill the cold empty void that had been shot through her chest.

She had learned to always expect someone to be there. She had become accustomed to the family they had made. But she had been alone before and she can do it again. She can and will rebuild to be stronger than before, she can't let people control her life and emotions because when they leave it feels like she's died with them. And that's the worst part, when inside you're dying but you have to keep on living, and no hospital will be able to fix that. Especially not the one stained with his blood.

do no harm.   - j. averyWhere stories live. Discover now