When the merger happens it's not just the name that changes, Seattle Grace Hospital becomes the new, and somewhat improved, Seattle Grace Mercy West. The lives of the grace doctors change irrevocably with the intruding newbies; some are loved and so...
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A brief, heavy pause settled over the couple before Phoebe let out a sigh and threw her car keys up. Jackson jerked his hands out in surprise, awkwardly and uncharacteristically fumbled before he secured them in his hands.
"You're driving." Phoebe simply advised as she made her way over to the passenger side.
Jackson hesitated in shock and relief that it worked. He was half expecting a yelling match and a slap in the face. He quickly snapped back and rounded the familiar car to get to the drivers side. It only took him a second to adjust the seat and then they were away. Phoebe turned the radio on low, hoping some music may drown out the awkward pauses and somewhat lighten the upcoming conversation.
"So..." Phoebe started, hoping that by talking, Jackson actually meant that he would talk.
"I miss you." He sighed, letting the statement settle in the air. Phoebe didn't respond and she waited for him to continue. "I miss being around you. I miss laughing with you. I just miss everything about you, about us. For years, you were who I went to and now everything is just..." Jackson hesitated, trying to find the rights words.
"Sad." Phoebe murmured, her eyes glued to Jackson. "Horrible." She added. "Absolutely fucked." She laughed lightly.
Jackson let out a breath of laughter. "Exactly." He replied with a sad smile. "But today. Today felt kind of normal again."
Phoebe was stunned by this and moved her whole body to face him with widened eyes. "It did?" She asked incredulously.
"Yeah, I mean we spoke and got along and it-" Jackson attempted to explain.
"I don't remember you ever yelling at me in an OR before." Phoebe bluntly replied, raising an eyebrow.
"That-" Jackson sighed. "That wasn't because of you. That was me and I'm sorry." He risked a quick glance so he could meet her eyes. So she could see his regret.
"Oh I know it wasn't me. But that's never been you either Jacks. You don't act like that. And you don't get in fights at parties, not when you're sober anyway. We can't be normal again because you're not." Phoebe explained, she saw Jackson was about to interrupt but she held out her hand. "And I'm not either. Losing... losing Charlie sucked and we're not okay. I don't know how to be the me I was before without him, because he was such a big part of me. I know you don't like talking about it. I understand. But you're the only person who really gets it and I haven't been able to talk to you. The only person I wanted to talk to. And you shut me out emotionally a long time ago, before everything with Mark."
"I know." Jackson said quietly, nodding his head in acceptance. "I didn't- don't know what to do. I don't like talking about it and we were so new. I guess I just liked ignoring it with you, shutting out everything else and just having you." He smiled softly, remembering all the mornings he woke up to her at his side, the feeling of their hands intertwined. "But in having you, I lost my best friend." Jackson added, stealing another glance at Phoebe. She faced away from him, a rogue sniffle gave her away and Jackson quickly placed his free hand on her knee, giving her a reassuring squeeze. She turned her head to face him and gave him a teary smile.
