Trial & Error (Ariana Grande/You)

Facing Feelings (23)

(Ariana pictured above)

December 18th, 2017
Los Angeles, CA
Y/N's House
11:42 PM

Ariana POV
"Here babe help me with this", Y/N said.

She was in the kitchen making us a late dinner. She's been at the studio all day so she begged me to drop by before midnight. When I found out about the DNA test the other night, I immediately came over to Y/N's place and I've tried my best to spend the night since. She refused to talk about it which I understood then but now I wish that she would talk to me about it. I'm her partner after all. I think I deserve to know how she's really feeling and I can't help but know that she's truly hurting. I tried asking Kehlani and Ricardo but they didn't know how to get her to open up about it. She's literally pretending like it never happened which was okay with me but I just want her to feel comfortable enough to vent to me.

"So how was the studio session?", I asked.

"Um it was actually kind of good", she said as she kissed my lips. "I got some writing done"

"Really?", I smiled. "That's great babe. Does that mean you're feeling better?", I asked seriously.

"I never felt bad in the first place baby", she said calmly.

Silence entered the kitchen once Y/N said that. I could see through her hurt and I really didn't want to press her but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Babe why won't you just talk to me?"

"I am talking to you Ari", she said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean Y/N"

"Can't we just have a nice dinner and let this go?", she begged.

I could see how aggravated she was getting but I don't care. If we're together I think I deserve to understand what she feels. I know her better than anyone in this world and I know how Y/N gets when she keeps things to herself. She sometimes explodes and says hurtful things to the wrong people which she eventually regrets. That's one of her faults and I'm okay with that. I just prefer her being honest instead of keeping things inside.

"How do you feel baby?", I asked.

"I'm okay Ari"

"No you're not", I spoke up.

"Well what the fuck do you want me to say?", she asked me obviously getting frustrated.

"Whatever's on your mind", I said honestly.

I watched as Y/N looked at me and then turned her head back to the food. She looked pretty upset and I didn't want to push her too far but I just can't help it.

"Babe——", I said before she quickly cut me off.

"Oh my gosh please let this go!", she yelled slightly. "Do you see me asking questions about your fucking ex?", she asked me.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said"

"I told you about Ricky Y/N"

"No you just told me that he was crazy and you would never talk to him again", she scoffed. "I never pressed you about the situation because I love you and I prefer to let you talk on your own time so please just drop it!"

Y/N angrily turned around to the sink and washed her hands before going to the cupboard and grabbing herself a wine glass. She poured up a glass of Cabernet and took the entire glass back in one gulp. I don't know why she was getting so mad about Ricky. If she wanted to know what went down in our relationship all she had to do was ask. I really just hate talking about him because whenever I do, I get anxious. Really fucking anxious.

"You want to know about Ricky, Y/N?", I asked.

"Ari, I——"

"No I'll tell you exactly what happened between us okay", I said before I took a deep breath. "He was emotionally abusive towards me and sometimes he'd even get a little physical okay?"

"He hit you? I swear if he hit you Ari I——"

"Babe relax he just would throw me around like I was just a random bitch off of the street", I said honestly. "My last straw was when I caught him in a stupid lie and he pushed me up against the wall"

"What? Why didn't you tell me?", she asked.

"Because you didn't ask and I don't know I just get shaken up whenever I talk about him I guess"

"I understand babe and I'm sorry that I'm such a jerk", she spoke up.

"You're not a jerk. You're just upset"

"Well I'm not going to lie anymore babe. I'm pissed off at Ella okay?", she said honestly. "I never expected her to be like that and I don't know why but a little tiny piece of me had me thinking that she was something else. I got mad at myself for not listening to my gut. I missed all the signs and I feel stupid"

"Baby it's not your fault. You didn't know that that was going to happen"

"And I'm glad it did", she said walking towards me. "We wouldn't be here right now and I would've probably missed out on the best thing that has ever happened to me"

I smiled as Y/N bent down and gently placed a kiss onto my lips. Before things could get any further, her phone started buzzing in her pocket so she pulled away to pick it up. Who the hell could be calling her this late at night?

"What? Why?", I heard her say.

"Who is it?", I whispered to her.

Y/N sighed and whispered, "It's Pharrell"

"Oh okay", I whispered.

After about 2 minutes went by, Y/N finally got off the phone. By the look on her face I could tell that she was about to leave to go somewhere and I really didn't want her to.

"Um baby I'm sorry but he begged me to come back to the studio"

"But you've been there all day", I whimpered.

"I know baby but I have to", she said kissing my lips.

"Fine I guess I shall go home"

"No you don't have to go anywhere Ari"

"Really?", I questioned.

"Yeah you can spend the night I don't mind"

Spending the night in Y/N's place by myself shows me that our relationship is actually going somewhere. The last time we were together it took me almost a year for either of us to be in each other's homes without us being there. Maybe I'm just being dramatic but this is an all time record for me.

"Ari?", she called out distracting me from my thoughts.

"What did you say?", I asked.

"I said you can't spend the night if you want to I really don't mind babe", she giggled.

"Yeah definitely I'll stay"

"Alright great"

Y/N wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss. Her lips tasted like honey and I just walked to suck on them for the rest of the night.

"Um I gotta go but I'll call you later okay?", she said as she slowly pulled away"

"Okay baby", I said sadly.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

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