Moonchild | KNJ & Reader

Torn Apart Between Two Sides (Your POV)

Your POV

Even when I walk in the corridors, I can see that people are torn apart between two sides. They can listen to Gi and be friends with her (she's one of the most popular girls in our year) and they'll have to hate me. She's good at persuading others that what she thinks is right is what they should think and that's what she's done this time too. Or they can listen to me and have a chance to meet Namjoon but they'll have to hate her. But that's not what's going to happen, being friends with me doesn't mean you take advantage of me. If you have a good deal and a bad deal you'll obviously choose the better one and a lot of people are doing that. Gi's managed to gather up her own mini fan base within two days and all of them have a sole purpose: to hate me. They make my life harder in so many ways. Tactics already used include: calling me names, not letting me to get to class in time and framing me for doing things I haven't done. And that's only the list of things they've done in four hours. I can't wait to see what else they try to do to make my life harder but at least I can run away from it all in one week. I'm totally enjoying a biology lesson right now so I'm on my phone, totally utilising my time. No phones in lessons but getting into a little bit more trouble should do no more harm than already done. Like I've been in so much trouble already and only ten hours in uni since the beginning of the new academic year. Kind of just want to give up, who the hell am I even living for? Sometimes I just feel like dropping out and living the wild life that changes pace every moment. That's what I would've done if Gi didn't come in to my life when I was fifteen. I still remember the moment too well. I was sitting on the sea defences as the rain poured heavily. I was totally drenched, trying to light a cigarette. Few months within that alternate circle of time, I'd been involved in drugs. Almost got caught as well but the guy I considered as an older brother told me to run and he'd cover. He told me I was a good girl and that it's not too late for me to restart. At that time, I didn't think for a second I could escape it. A week later, his news devastated me and I couldn't ring out of my bad habits. Smoking, alcohol but no drugs because he was the leader and he was gone so the whole county system had cracked. I was sitting there, casually ruining my life and thinking why am I still alive. My desire to die was so strong, I wanted to go to older bro. Then she randomly appeared and held my shoulder firmly. Kindred look in her eyes, towering above me. She took me and set me straight. We later got in to the same school and she's been with me ever since. But this time she might be the reason I drop out. 

Namjoon: Sorry I haven't spoken to you in ages. Been so busy.

You: It's okay. see that uv rlly set out to impress the ARMYs

Namjoon: just like u told me to :)

Namjoon: u feeling down?

You: how did u know?

Namjoon: we feel each other, remember?

You: oh yh. 

Namjoon: u not going to tell me then?

You: i will. Gi's making my life harder... again

Namjoon: seriously? u don't know what i want to do to that girl

You: at least it's all only one week.

Namjoon: u excited to go back to Seoul?

You: very much!!

Namjoon: glad to hear that. will meet you a month later from today. the final dates for our tour has been set so i can guarantee that.

You: yey!!!!! can't wait to see u sun shine!!

Namjoon: knew that would make u happy moon child. ur welcome.

Namjoon: i just realised... aren't u supposed to be at like uni? like in a lesson?

You: yh

Namjoon: then? y aren't u in lesson??

You: i am in lesson. who told u i'm not?

Namjoon: phones in lesson? i don't think so.

You: i'm in lesson but i'm using my phone secretly.

Namjoon: what?! ur grades r going to go low if u continue like that. u know u r rlly smart and have potential.

You: like Yoongi said "whatever"

Namjoon: I'm serious tho. u shouldn't use phones in lesson. what if u get caught?

You: u care more abt my life more than i do right now. like i said, Gi's been making my life harder again. and this time she's gotten the whole yr to tag along basically. i'm in so much trouble already that a bit more trouble won't make a difference.

Namjoon: oh Y/N. that's not how things work.

You: i can't care less

Namjoon: u careless little angel! i got to go now so byeeeeeee!

You: Bye!

Namjoon always knows how to cheer me up and I'm glad I've spoken to him even though it meant risking getting caught with my phone in lessons. I can't wait for this day to be over. So tired already. Tired with work. Tired with people. Tired with life. But still, that fear in me hasn't been extinguished. I hate this, I just wish my doubts would be proven wrong already. If it can all just happen, I'd deal with it but this anticipation is far more deadly. I just want to spill all my doubts to him and hope that he'd comfort me and call me stupid, tell me there's nothing to worry about. But that'd make me vulnerable. No one cares for me but me and that's how it'll always be. I'm sure.