Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 9 ❄️

❄️Runaway❄️

❄️Woojin POV❄️

I have been listening to music until now. I just wanted to calm down a little bit, but  I guess that has an end now. I can hear the others making terribly loud noise downstairs. Wondering what's going on, I turn the music off and put my headphones aside. I stand up quickly and head to the others.

And it is a disaster. Looks like the others are away, there are only Felix, Changbin and me at home. But that's the problem, because those two are screaming at each other as if they are on a party and the music was too loud. Well, the big difference is that they are swearing and having a big fight.

Felix is on the Edge of crying and Changbin doesn't care at all. I quickly tell them to stop, to shut up, to apologize. But nothing happens. Like I'm invisible, like I'm not there.

„Stop
Changbin, Felix
Please stop..."

Nothing. Until Chan comes to us und separates them. I am so happy that he came. I couldn't do anything. Like I'm totally useless as the mom of the group.
„I'm sorry I couldn't do anything..." I apologize, well, it was more like a whisper. But Chan understood those few words, because he tells me that it's okay. This is pretty unfamiliar to hear, sadly.

But then Seungmin speaks up.
„No, it's not okay. Changbin was rude, Felix is hurt. You needed to do something, to fix this but you couldn't. Although it was your job to do so. Why are you like that, Woojin?"

Ouch...
That hurts. But it's true. And that hurts more, he is right. I feel the tears in my eyes, I feel my skin getting cold and I feel my heart beating faster, starting to bleed.

"Seungmin. Why did you say that!"
Chan asks.
"It's not like you never thought of that, too."

"I'm sorry. I really am" is the only thing I can say at that moment. I leave the room, grabbing my notebook, and head outside to go for a walk. I want to forget his words. I want to forget those cruel words which I can hear over and over again. I want to forget the truth.

I'm glad it's already dark outside, so there's no need to wear that stupid mask. There aren't many people outside, so I just sit down in a bench in a park. I'm thinking too much, and it feels like it's killing me.

I open my notebook and write down what I'm thinking right now. Those sentences look like the lyrics of a song, although this wasn't my intention. I just wanted to write down my thoughts. I just wanted to feel better. I just wanted to let go

I listen to the song "Runaway" while I'm putting my notebook aside. Sometimes I really want to runaway. To leave everything behind. To leave everyone behind. I wouldn't care, they wouldn't care.

But something keeps me here, something doesn't let me leave, it doesn't let me go...