Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 15 ❄️

❄️Robot boy❄️

The last few days were pretty stressful. Well, actually they were horrible. I'm feeling bad. Bad for Hyunjin, bad for Felix, bad for Chan.

Chan told us a few days ago that he has to work longer on some songs. I don't know when he comes home, I'm always already asleep when he is still in the studio. Sometimes he doesn't even come home until it's 6 in the morning. Of course I know that he doesn't need much sleep, I mean he told us so many times, but I can't help worrying about him. I can see that he's so sleepy in the morning, but not even his tiredness stops him from working. So we don't see us often, we don't talk often... and I miss this, I miss him.

Felix and Changbin are fighting more. It kinda destroys me to see this. I mean everybody, literally everyone is shipping them. I can understand it, they really loved each other in a special way. They were best friends, they knew they could talk to each other about everything. And they were always there for each other. But that all changed now. I don't know the reason why, but mostly Changbin is the one who starts a fight. And Felix is the one who leaves the room and cries silently. Then I tell him that I'm gonna talk to Changbin about this, about everything, but he just stops me. He says that Changbin is only stressed out and he doesn't mean it. But it can't go on like this.

I mean Felix breaks because of that. He's getting weak, weak like me. Although he denies it, he denies that any of Changbin's words have any influence, I can see how everyday gets harder for him. He no longer radiates this joy. And the smile he's smiling isn't real.

And I don't want him to be sad, I don't want him to be like that. I want him to be happy, I want him to feel better than that.

The other problem is, that Hyunjin's lost a lot of weight. This really can't be healthy anymore. Jeongin was right when he told me that there's something up. He still worries so much about his Hyung, he's not leaving his side 'till it's already dark and he goes to sleep. This is not typical for the Maknae. He shows that much affection towards Hyunjin, he really wants everything to be alright, he wants him to be alright.

But Hyunjin still gets paler and skinnier everyday, although he eats enough to keep his weight. And Jeongin is racking his brain because of that.

I also talked to Hyunjin about that, but he told me he doesn't even know what I'm talking about, he told me that everything is fine...

Everything is fine...
I guess that's the biggest lie in this world. People keep saying that when they feel like dying, just to not get on the other's nerves. Or to suppress their problems, so maybe they will go away by itself. But they won't. They won't just disappear. I know what I'm talking about.

The hate is getting worse everyday. I'm reading mean comments about me almost everyday. And it makes me cry every time. So that's the reason why I'm so often laying on my bed, worrying about the others, about everything, and crying silently. Feeling how my heart starts to bleed, how my soul screams for freedom. And my head just wants to forget. Forget everyone, forget anything. I wish it would be that easy.

There's not enough love on the world, so why should anyone love me? I guess there isn't even anyone who could give love to me...

I wanna go, I wanna get away from those people, from this place and from this world. But the problem is that I'm too weak, I don't have the strength to go.

And there's someone I can't leave behind. There is someone holding me back, someone I'm needing, and my heart can't afford to let him go...

But c'mon...
I'm not gonna fight against my tears and against the pain.

I'm not gonna fight,
'Cause no one will fight for me...

❄️...❄️
Hey guys,
I hope you're all doing well ^^
If you're not you know that you can always talk to me<3

I'm sorry that it took me so long to publish the next chap:(
But I have some problems and things to think about, so I sometimes lack motivation._.

Nevertheless I hope you all like the story so far (and the songs of course haha) ^^

And thank you guys for all those reads, votes and comments!

^^Cya