Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 21 ❄️

❄️Remind me to forget❄️

I need to forget.
But how could I?
I need to talk about it, but I can't talk to anyone. About this, about how I feel these days, how I feel about Chan...

That feeling shouldn't be there, I can't love him, I'm not allowed to. But you don't choose the person you fall in love with, do you?

I can feel the cold air, a cold wind blowing through my hair and through the grass around me. So many stars can be seen all over the sky. The big river in front of me is reflecting the bright light of the moon. The flowers already started to bloom, the cold winter is over, the snow melted some time ago. It's quiet here, I'm alone but not lonely for the first time because that boy doesn't stop being on my mind.

His beautiful features, his eyes glowing up every time I look at them. Or was this just my imagination? And those lips, forming a smile in such a loving way, as if they were made to smile. His voice that creates a complete new world for me when he's only singing some of our songs. That boy got me dreaming a dream from which I don't wanna wake up anymore. And when we talk, yes, every time we talk my biggest wish is to kiss those lips, I wanna kiss him and never let that boy go anymore.

I fell so deep for him...

But the others mustn't notice this, if they do I will be kicked out or worse. So this needs to be a secret. As long as I can't just forget him, as long as my heart beats a thousand times faster when he talks to me, hugs me...

On one hand I want to just be happy with him, want him to kinda return my feelings, I want to show him love, I want to hold his hand all day, cuddle him, forget about everything. I want to forget about the boy group for one second although I know this is impossible.

But on the other hand I want to let go of love and that crush I have on my friend... I know that I will be hurt, there is no chance we will end up like in my imagination. I wish there would be, but why should I hope so when I'll only be disappointed in the end...

And though I can't just stop it, I can't give up on him. I'm still believing that there is a little chance and there could be a way that there will be an "we".

It's already 2am. I just didn't want to go home until now. I wanted to wait until Chan arrives, he has been working at the studio since 9pm. I guess he walks home by now, so I'm also on my way.

It takes half an hour, then I arrive. I walk to the kitchen to drink a glass of water because I feel kinda thirsty. Maybe Chan already arrived? I drink up my water and go to my room. No, Chan's not here...

I decide to go change and sleep then, I will see him tomorrow anyway, so...

I am that deep in thought again, but then I hear a sound that makes me worry a lot... I rush to the bathroom and see Hyunjin throwing up. I close the door and immediately run towards him. I want to comfort him, so I pat his back.

It doesn't take long for me to realize, well, actually this is exactly the moment I understand it. I understand everything.

Then the front door opens again. Chan is home.

❄️... ❄️
hey guys
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Sorry for the slow updates :(

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^^Cya