Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 28❄️

❄️Hurts like hell❄️

Still Chan POV

"Where's Woojin?"

"He went to his room I guess, two minutes after you left or so. We haven't heard anything from him since, so I think he's already asleep."

I nod. I have a bad feeling about that. Something just doesn't feel right, but I don't know what exactly. Or am I just imagining things and he really was tired and that sleepy...

I make my way to his room, still thinking and worrying about him. I know he can't just ignore those comments and the hate... I know that there's something wrong.

Still thinking, no, still hoping I'm gonna find a sleeping Woojin in that room, I open the door slowly. Every move I make is cracking slightly, so even if he is asleep, he may be up by now for sure. But the room is dark. And empty. No Woojin.

I stare at his free bed, he's also not in mine. Maybe he has gone to the toilet? Even though I know that this is not the case, my head keeps hoping.

I knock at the bathroom door. No response. It's not locked, so I can walk in. But at exactly that moment I wish this wouldn't be the reality. This mustn't be real. It feels like my worst nightmare has come true.

"Woojin? Woojin wake up, please Woojin!" I yell. I can't lose him, not now, never. My arms hold him tight as I carry him. His face is pale, he looks almost lifeless. His body feels cold, especially his hands. I look around, hoping for a wonder, but instead of that, an answer and the reason why he's looking like a dead body hits me hard. An emptied small tin of sleeping pills. He took them, them all and it was obviously too much.

In the next few seconds my body reacts without my brain because I think it stopped working. I still hold him in my arms, tighter and tighter. It feels like I hold my whole world in my arms, but this world is broken now, people destroyed it.

"You can't die now, you can not die now..." I whisper all over again and again as I lay him down on my lap. We're sitting under the shower, the cold water patters on our heads.

I don't know what I need to do now. I feel helpless, as if there's no way for us.

Tears run down my cheek as I sob into his neck. Why? Why must this happen? Why haven't I done anything? I was stupid, no, I am stupid. Stupid because I wasn't there for him. The thought, that all of this might be my fault makes me wanna vomit. My stomach feels horrible, I feel sick all of a sudden.

But only one second later I realize... this try could be worth it. Maybe I can help him. Maybe I've got one last single chance.

Without hesitation I push two of my fingers in his mouth and even deeper, down his throat. It makes him gag slightly, but that's exactly what I want. I want him to throw up the pills, best would be all of them. Maybe this could save him, well I hope I can save him and I hope it's not already too late...

It helps, he gags uncontrollably and throws up the sleeping pills. But I still don't stop doing so, I have to make sure that he stays alive.

The tears burn on my cheeks as I can't help repeating the word "stay", while I whisper encouraging things in his ear. And then, all of a sudden, he starts to cough, quietly but heavily.

His body comes to live again, he starts to shiver as he slowly opens his eyes. I did it. We made it. He's with me again.

He turns around, facing me.
"You're alive... I swear I thought you left me", I say, still crying.

He's just biting his bottom lip, tears are forming in the corner of his eye. I still hold him tightly und caress his cheek, before I softly press a kiss on those plump lips, which belong to me and me only. I don't want to hold anybody else again. I can't imagine kissing anyone else. I want him to be with me, forever and always.

From now on things will change. I will make him feel better, care for him, I will make the pain go away and protect him.

I will be his savior.