Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 12 ❄️

❄️Without me❄️

For two ours I'm staying at the practice room now. And I'm still not getting it all. That's so pathetic. I am pathetic, actually that is how I feel...

It's always the same move that I do wrong. But my brain just doesn't get it. It feels like my brain and my feet aren't working anymore. Why does it have to be so complicated? Or am I just too stupid to understand how it works?

I'm often imagining them without me, although I know that I shouldn't. Maybe Stray Kids should have debuted without me. It wouldn't matter, no. It would even have been better.

But in the other hand I would never have met Chan. I've got those feelings towards him... feelings I shouldn't have. Yeah, those feelings are bad. This boy is always on my mind, he's always distracting me. Anytime I see those beautiful eyes I remember that evening and his cute and caring embrace.

Cute and caring... I wish Chan would care about me, care for me, like I do to him.

I need to practice again. There's no time for me being distracted. No time to think about Chan at the moment. My water bottle is already empty, but I don't care right now. All I care about right now is the dance. I need to get it right, Minho also told me that I need to. Then he will stop scolding me...

"What's so difficult? It's the wrong direction, again. Woojin why don't you get it? Stay after practice and do it a few more times."
Minho said those words to me. He was angry and also kinda disappointed. Do I really only disappoint the others? Do I really disappoint everyone? It looks like that, because not only the members are dissatisfied with me, the fans are, too. All those comments I'm reading are telling me that all the time.

That I'm being not good enough...
That I'm not talented enough...
That I'm not beautiful enough...
And that I'm just a burden to them and I should let go...

If only it were that easy...

I'm thirsty again, the training is getting harder by every second. I've done the right steps now a few times but I'm still not satisfied with it and I'm sure Minho also wouldn't be. My head is already aching, like my arms and my feet, but I won't stop until the move's perfect. And that takes its time...

I'm also not stopping when my sight gets blurry, only a few more times and I've got it.
"Come on, Woojin. Three more times..."

But my body is already too weak. I want to turn the music off but I can't see clearly anymore. Everything around me turns black and I'm closing my eyes while breaking down.

I only can hear a familiar voice, Chan's voice and feel someone picking me up and carrying me, before I pass out...