Where wounds can heal ~ Woochan

Chapter 20 ❄️

❄️Fix you❄️

The last few days were so stressful and horrible. I almost cried everyday. It was because of those hate comments which got worse and worse. Also the dance practice yesterday was so difficult for me that I tripped over my own feet about three times. I practice more than the others, and still I'm that bad. And this kinda hurts, it makes me feel like I'm a burden to them and it makes me feel stupid. Stupid because I am too dumb to learn an easy dance. Stupid because I'm always forgetting the choreography.

I'm sitting on my bed, staring at the wall, thinking about everything and feeling weak. My heart has started to bleed, I can feel that. It's already 1am, I haven't eaten and I don't wanna eat, but I also can't sleep. So why shouldn't I just be sitting there silently?

But all of a sudden I can feel a warmth from behind me. That warmth spreads all over my body. I begin to lean into the touch, not wanting that back hug to end soon. Or to end ever...

"You're already here" I whisper. I can feel him nodding behind me, then he puts his head on my shoulder. I like that, way more than I should I guess...

"I came home earlier today, I was hoping that you're still awake so we can talk"
I turn around so I can face him, look at him.

It's dark, only the matt light of the moon is shining through the window, making both of us visible. His dark brown eyes are reflecting the light, his pale skin is gleaming and makes me wanna touch it. Just because of this sight I forget all my worries and my problems for a minute.

He's sitting next to me and starts to caress my head before he hugs me tightly, making both of us feel comfortable. I cuddle up to his chest as he starts to talk.

"So now Jinnie, tell me what's bothering you. I wanna help you, I really do."

„It's just that the hate gets worse every day and I feel like a burden to all of you..."
I tell him sadly. I can feel that I'm crying again and I guess he noticed it, too because he immediately hugs me tighter.
„You aren't. We all love you, but some of us can't express their love in a right way and you don't need to feel like this. It's just that stupid people do stupid things and it definitely is stupid to tell you that you're a bad dancer or a bad singer. In my opinion you aren't, Jinnie."

Those tears stop streaming and for a second my heart stops beating. Is this a dream? Is it? He can't just say all of that,  this can't be the reality, it can't be real...

But it is.

And after these few words I feel better. I look at him, see him staring at me. He eyes me up, my face, from my forehead, to my eyes, to my nose, to my lips. My heart is beating so fast right now and my minds starting to get blurry as I look at his beautiful features. Chan is so pretty, like really pretty. I thought that before but now I do in a different way...

It feels like like my feelings changed. It feels like I'm in love although I'm not allowed to be. But I don't care right now. All I care about is suddenly Chan.

"You're voice is angelic, I love listening to it. And you're not untalented and you're definitely not ugly. You aren't any of those things haters say. You're wonderful, Woojin. I wish I could help you, I wish I could fix you"

And again his words make my heart flutter. I hide my face in his chest, inhaling his scent. My face is getting redder every second and I close my eyes, trying to calm down. He pats my back while he's slightly kissing my head.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
He asks quietly. I only nod, so we both lay down, still cuddling. I'm feeling so tired and excited at the same time. I know now that I have a crush on him. And I know that this could be a problem...