One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

Dying For Change

I walked into the Owlry, looking for my owl, Bubbles. She immediately flew down, looking at me expectantly. I didn't disappoint; I tied the letter to her leg and watched her fly off into the predawn. I calculated that she'd be back by the hour and that would give Rock and I approximately half an hour before Snape woke up. I hoped that would give us enough time to look innocent, but not too innocent. No one wants to look that innocent, especially Rock and me. 

Yawning slightly, I returned to the dormitory, gently shaking Rock's shoulder. Her hand shot up, punching me in the nose, but I never let a little thing like that stop me. "Rock, if you don't wake up, we can't make Snape fall hopelessly in love with us." 

She sat up. "I'm awake. What about Snape? I love him! He's so sexy." I nodded slowly in agreement, but I didn't care to add to that obvious statement. 

"Within the hour, we shall have our greatest tool for victory in our hands and the world shall not know what has hit it," I whispered dramatically, trying to build up the suspense. Instead, for all of my troubles, I got a pillow to the head for my acting skills. Rock growled in annoyance. I sighed. Why is no one in the mood for drama in the morning? "To put it simply, I asked my mum for green hair die. When we get it in an hour, what should we do with it?" 

Rock sat up, no longer looking annoyed, but now thoughtful. "Let's mix it in with his shampoo. That way when he goes to wash his hair... " she trailed off, an almost evil smirk on her face. I smiled with  anticipation. This opportunity was too good to pass up. We both got dressed, putting on warm clothes because it was starting to get chilly outside now. Her red dress really brought out the color in her hair and she looked really pretty. 

When Bubbles returned, box of green hair dye in talon, there was a note attached to it. I didn't want to know what my mother thought about my hair and what color it should be. If she truly knew what I was up to, she'd faint on the spot. Rock is so awesome! This is why I need her around. "Hey, why don't we go clear this up with your grandfather first?" I suggested. She stared at me as if I had sprouted Devil's Snare out of my nose. 

"Why?" she asked slowly. 

I shrugged as if I didn't really know. "Oh, just in case things start getting out of hand, you know... Think of it as getting permission after you do something. You know what they say, that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission? Almost right. I think it's better to do what you want and then do whatever is necessary after." 

Rock smiled brightly. "Jen, you've changed. I love it! Let's go visit grandfather!" 

***********

"Grandfather," Rock greeted him. I nervously glanced at the clock on the wall. We had thirty minutes to do this before we would have to wait for tomorrow. And once I have an idea, I do not want to wait another twenty-four hours to complete the task. "How are you? Really? That's wonderful; glad to hear it. Can we try and make the school a better place?" 

Dumbledore sat back in his chair, gazing at us over his half-moon spectacles. "Rock, I'm glad to see you, my dear. And Jennifer, always a pleasure. What do you mean you want to make the school a better place?" 

Lying wasn't my strong suit, but thankfully, I didn't have to say much with Rock around. She liked to talk and I liked to be quiet and read, but we compliment each other in awesome ways. "We want to improve Sexy... I mean, Snape's personality. Jen and I feel that if we can get him to at least stop being so angry, the school would be happier." I nodded to emphasise her point. Besides, who was to say that in the end this wouldn't make Snape happy? Well, not the hair, but the other things. 

"Sir, I give you my word that nothing bad will happen," I said softly. "Professor Snape will be himself, only improved. Don't you think he could do with some cheering up?"