One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

Confession: We Love You

I couldn't believe that was out in the open. I shot her a nervous glance, but Rock was staring firmly at the headmaster. I shifted uncomfortably in front of Snape who was looking fairly dumbstruck. There was an awkward silence. Those make me extremely self-conscious. Finally, Snape rolled his eyes in aggravation. "Miss Riddle, it is unbecoming to lie. If this is a joke -and it had better be one- it is hardly amusing." 

Dumbledore blinked a few times before saying, "Rock, would you like to explain what you mean by that?" 

He shouldn't have asked that. He should not have asked that. "Weeelll," Rock began, "It all started on a dark and stormy night, many years ago. Jen and I had just come back from a lovely night of doing our homework in the common room. And then-" I clapped a hand over her mouth, shaking my head in denial. 

"That's not true," I stated. Then I amended, "It's mostly true." I removed my hand from Rock's mouth, just before she tried to bite me. "Yeah, that's all true." She smirked in victory. She knew I couldn't lie very well. Damn it... 

The headmaster looked as if he couldn't comprehend it. I didn't wish to see what Snape's reaction to this was, but I didn't doubt it was almost the same as Rock's grandfather's. "Well, this is a rather odd situation," Dumbledore muttered, looking weary. He glanced at Snape. "My apologies, Severus. It appears you were the victim in this situation." 

"That's what I've been saying all along!" he snarled. 

"Professor, I have my own mind," I spoke suddenly. "Do not call me a sheep ever again. I resent it. I do my own things just like Rock does her own. We respect each other's hobbies. I do not follow anyone. I may join them in activities, but I am capable of independent thought."

Snape's lip curled. "Be quiet, you stupid girl."

Rock turned on him, narrowing her eyes. "Don't talk to Jen like that, Sexy!" she hissed. "She's right. You're wrong. Call her anything but a nice name again, you're going to pay with something precious to you." Deliberately, she lowered her gaze to in between his legs and back up again. I laughed in surprise. I didn't see that one coming. Snape took a step backwards from her. Rock joined in with the laughter. 

"Girls, perhaps you should leave," the headmaster said quietly. 

Professor Snape cleared his throat. "Actually, Headmaster, I was wondering if perhaps I could take a few minutes of their time to speak to them?" 

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. After all, I don't know what will happen the moment I turn my back. For all I know this is all a big scheme to get my granddaughter alone." I threw my hands up in indignation. "Yes, Miss Dewitt, what is it?" 

"I'm here, too. Does no one care for my well-being?" I drawled sarcastically. Rock threw her arms around me, nearly making me fall over. "Thank you, Rock. I love you, too, but I still enjoy the use of my vocal cords," I choked out when she let go of me finally. She snickered. 

"Not as much as I do!" she sang, flipping her hair over her shoulders. 

Snape smirked. "That's certainly true," he muttered. "Headmaster, I give you my solemn word that no harm shall befall either girl." Yes, at long last, I was included and cared about! Thank you, Snape. It's about damned time. My goodness. 

Dumbledore inclined his head. "Very well. Good day to you all." He strode away, heading out the way he came, minus us. I turned to Snape to see what he wanted to talk to us about. Snape walked into his classroom, taking his seat behind his desk. I found it odd to see him sitting because he most often liked to stand and haunt the corridors. He motioned for us to also take a seat. Ha ha, this is awkward. 

"Have any good popcorn lately, Sexy?" Rock broke the silence with her customary insanity. I rolled my eyes and smiled. Leave it to her to do that. 

"No, and if you could get your mind off food for one minute, Miss Riddle, that would be appreciated," he answered shortly. Clearly this was serious. 

He seemed to be trying to properly phrase something, and I, being able to sympathize, prompted, "Professor, if this is about us being in love with you, don't worry about it." His dark eyes shot up to meet my green ones. 

Rock chimed in, "No, don't worry about it. We know exactly how to deal with it. More pranks." A dreamy expression cut across her face. I raised an eyebrow at her and she stuck out her tongue. She always makes me laugh. "In all seriousness, Sexy, if you want us to leave you alone, we'll do it." I shot her a disbelieving glare. There was no way she was going to leave him alone, especially since we've started trying to annoy him. We were in this together. Maybe this was some ploy. A trick to put him at ease until the next big prank. 

Immediately I relaxed in my chair. That was it. She was just setting him up. I smiled at her and she winked back. Snape was a bit more gullible than I, however, because he looked rather relieved to hear that. Of all the things for him to believe, that was what he chose? A mistake on his part, but fun for us. "Ah... Well, that's good to hear," he muttered uncomfortably. "Better than the alternative." 

I leaned forward intently, narrowing my eyes in thought. What did he mean by that? What alternative? If there was one thing this man was, it was secretive. But we've been following his every move for a long time. If anyone could figure him out, it was us. "Professor, if that is all?" I inquired coolly. 

"Leave," he agreed. 

Rock and I went into the hallway, remaining silent until we were out of hearshot of any potential eavesdroppers. "You have an idea," I stated. 

"Duh," she replied quietly, but there was no masking the glee on her face. "Sexy isn't going to know what hit him until it's too late. This could get rather risky, Jen, and if you don't want to do it, I'll understand." 

I snorted. "I started this with you, Rock, and I plan on finishing it that same way."

She grinned brightly. "Then you're going to love this..."