𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝒀𝒐𝒓𝒌 {𝑯.𝑺}

Chapter Thirty Seven | Never Alone

Hanging out with Harry felt like finding a shore after years of being lost at sea; like experiencing all of your hopeless desperation and crippling despair dissolving into joy-Complete and utter joy.

I hadn't felt like this in a long time. Giggles constantly bubbled up my throat and my cheeks ached from grinning so hard. My skin tingled with warmth whenever Harry looked at me; his eyes were my favorite feature of his. They were bright and tender.

There was always a sincerity in his glances; a vulnerability. He never had a problem being his true self around me. I think that his authenticity was the quality that I admired the most.

We were currently at Sadie's studio, where Harry would be staying. Sadie and Alice were somewhere in the kitchen, while Harry and I sat in his guest bedroom. I currently had my calfs resting in his lap, laying down in the bed as I stared up at the ceiling. He was scrolling through his phone, humming quietly to the music that was playing.

It was my favorite song: Violin by Amos Lee.

"When I was touring, I listened to this song constantly, you know." Harry spoke, glancing away from his phone and at me. "It made me think of you."

I grinned, a thrill of delight shooting through me. "It's a wonderful song."

He hummed in agreement, staring at me with a fond smile.

I returned my gaze to the ceiling, content with everything that today consisted of.

"How have you been, Mia?" He asked, still gazing at me. "And I mean truly..."

I sighed, trying to brace myself for an answer. I had a feeling he was going to ask this. "Not good."

I chewed on my lip, trying to ignore the ocean of sadness that suddenly hit me. There was a heavy pressure residing in my chest, refusing to go away no matter how many times I tried to ease it.

"I miss him, Harry." My voice wavered as I thought of Aiden. "I miss him so much. And I know that he wasn't a good brother, and that this sort of thing was inevitable. But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm alone. More now than ever."

I didn't like dwelling on the negative too much. It did nothing but make me feel worse. But I couldn't help but pour my entire soul to Harry. He always made me feel heard and accepted; I never struggled to be transparent with him.

"You aren't alone." He frowned, becoming alarmed.

I looked over at him, noticing that he had put his phone down. His attention was completely on me.

"The pain is...visceral. It's heavier than it's ever been and so loud that I'm struggling to shut it off and continue on with life the way that I use to." I continued.

"It's not meant to be shut off, Mia, It's meant to be felt. You don't dismiss it or ignore it." He mumbled. "And you don't have to assign it to a particular time or day if you don't want to. You just let it take it's course, like all other emotions. You just feel."

I rubbed my lips together, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill over. "My dad drinks himself into oblivion so much that he hasn't come home in days. My mother doesn't care that she ruined him and is happily building a life with a man that she had an affair with. And my brother is buried six feet under because he loved starving more than anything else. And I know that I usually don't talk about it Harry, but after all that's happened, I still don't think I'll ever be able to detach myself from my family-even though it's ruining me."

His expression softened. "Oh, Mia..."

I wiped my cheeks and exhaled a shaky breath. "It's just a lot of built up emotions. I've felt so alone since you left." I closed my eyes in shame, because it seemed so weird to be attached to him like this; to be attached to someone other than my family members or Alice.

Of course I had Alice as a support system, but she had enough things to deal with. Half of the time, she was just as much of a wreck as I was, and I didn't want to burden her any further.

Phone calls with Harry had been my savior, but there was still only so much that telephone communication could do. It paled in comparison to face-to-face interaction-which was something that I always preferred.

Even in this moment, I felt bad for speaking those words. I didn't want Harry to feel obligated to take care of me or be my support system. I didn't want to burden him. He had enough on his plate.

"I'm sorry," I sniffed. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. Let's talk about something happier."

"Rubbish. You're not making me feel guilty at all." His frown deepened. "You're not alone, Mia. I hate it when you say that. I'll always be here for you."

I analyzed his face, pleased to see the sincerity it held.

"To be honest, I think about your past a lot." He continued, setting his lips into a grim line. "It's hard to wrap my brain around all that you've told me. I couldn't imagine experiencing what you've experienced. But that just makes you so much stronger. So much more incredible. You know that?"

I nodded, feeling my shoulders relax at his words. "Can I have a hug?"

He chuckled softly at that, "You don't have to ask for one, silly. Of course you can."

He removed my legs from his lap, pulling me closer to him with surprising strength. Within seconds I was in his arms, feeling his stubble rub my jaw as he nestled against my neck.

This time, we didn't have to let go because we we weren't in an airport, and there definitely weren't any paparazzis waiting for us.

So I stayed in his arms for the rest of the night.