I Had A Superstar's Baby? -Niall Horan Fan Fiction-

Chapter Twenty-Five: Safe and Sound

*Louis' POV* 

Where do we go from here? 

For the past week I had felt lost, like a small part of me died. To be honest, a lot of myself has been dying this year. I don't understand how I'm still going on right now.

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. My dream is over. Everything I ever wanted disappeared with one word that we said. What am I supposed to do?

I refuse to go online to look at anything. All it will be about is how we left, how we broke our contract, how we left the fans with nowhere to turn, how we let everyone down. 

"Louis?" My sister's sweet and innocent voice snaps me out of my daydreams. I lift my head out of my pillow and look over at her. "Hey." She smiles at me.

"Hi." I croak. Agnes shuts the door behind her and walks over to me.

"Scoot over." She tells me. I slide over. The bed dips beside me, signalling she was now laying with me. "What's up?"

"I don't know..." I trail off. "What are you doing here?"

"You're my brother Louis, when you're depressed I'm gonna be here for you." Agnes says.

"I'm not depressed." I huff and fold my arms over my chest.

"Why don't you let any of your feelings in?" Agnes asks. "You mask your emotions 24-7 and now that is all backfiring on you because of what happened last week."

"I don't want to talk about it." I mutter, looking away from her gaze.

"Louis William Tomlinson, look at me and just listen for one second." Agnes snaps. Shocked, I turn my head to face her. "Look, I get that you're upset. I know that you've been through h*ll and back your whole life. You let the guilt go, but it's time that you allow yourself to feel something."

"I don't want to feel anything." I reply.

"It doesn't take a genius to know that." Agnes states the obvious. "What are you so afraid of?"

"If I let my feelings in then I'll turn into a weak goopy mess." I try to explain.

"Crying isn't a sign of weakness Louis, it's a sign of having been strong for too long. And you know who taught me that?" Agnes asks. "You."

"How did me of all the people teach you that?" I ask. "Andrew was a better role model than I'll ever be."

"Andrew tried to tell me how to feel, he wasn't the best brother as you'd think." Agnes shakes her head. "You taught me that by living life and letting me watch you do it. One Direction splitting up is not your fault, if anything it's mine because I started this whole thing."

"It wasn't you!" I shout.

"Then who was it Louis?!" Agnes yells. "It sure as h*ll wasn't you!"

"I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to make the decisions and take care of everyone, I'm not supposed to be babied!" I shriek.

"You know what you're supposed to do?!" Agnes screeches. "You're supposed to take care of yourself and let everyone else deal with themselves! If they can handle it then it was never your business in the first place! If they can't then that's where you step in!"

"All I've ever been told is that I have to help people no matter what! That's what I'm trying to do, so just let me do that!" I bellow.

"I can't let you do that if it's ripping you apart inside! I don't want to see you on the edge of a bridge like Niall was!" Agnes wails. Only then do I realize the tears streaming down her cheeks. "If that happens then I really can't do this anymore." She plays with her hands on her lap, refusing to look at me. "I don't want to see you like that, I don't want to lose you." Her voice sounded hurt, broken even. "I've lost too much already and if you go...I would need to go."