𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 | Haechan

Chapter Thirty: Final

The thought ran around in my head.
I couldn't decide. I didn't want to make the wrong decision. 
I wanted to see him smile, I want to give him happiness and I want what is best for him because his happiness is my whole world.

It got silent. "So, what is it?" The moment had gotten to me, I was feeling all sorts of emotion. I looked down. 
"You don't have to answer right now." Haechan let out a small laugh as he looked at the starry sky. I tugged on my shirt. "Why can't I answer him right now....? Why can't I just tell him that I want his happiness? I want him to chase his dream?" I shook my head at my own thoughts. "I guess I should go then?" Haechan looked back down at me with a gentle look in his eyes. 
"I-If that's what you want," I made a small nod. 
"Hmm." Haechan seemed to be silent, I wasn't sure what was on his mind, but I could tell he was thinking of something. He looked back down at me with a big smile. "Let's enjoy the rest of the night together, okay?"
I wanted this time with him. So I nodded with a smile. I locked my arm with him, and we looked around for Mark and Soojin. We spotted them in the crowd. We quickly walked up them. Soojin was looking up at the sky. "It was sure pretty." She muttered. 
"Soooo, did you do it?" Mark glared over at Haechan, then I noticed Haechan's face got red with a smile. "Ah ah~ yes.." Haechan tried to hide his face.
"Oooooh.." Mark then glared over at me. "How did it feel?"
"What?" I was confused for a second, but then realized he was talking about the kiss. I looked down in embarrassment. "It was fine, I guess," I muttered. 
"You guess?" Haechan gasped. I glared up at him. 
"I mean, well.. It was good I mean.." I felt my face getting red. "I am still not used to it!" I scrunched my nose. 
"Haha, you're still at that stage, right?" Mark laughed. Mark and Soojin then made a quick kiss then started smiling. 
"Don't worry, you will find it a bit embarrassing at first but Haechan is who you feel most comfortable with, so you don't have to worry." Soojin smiled.
I gently let out a smile. 
"Do you know what the others are up to tonight?" Haechan asked.
"Oh, I know Yuna and Yuta are over his house, uh.." Soojin scratched her head.
"Johnny said he was watching it on his t.v and didn't feel like coming out." Mark laughed. 
"I wonder what WinWin and Taeyong are doing.." I started to think. "Come to think of it.. I haven't hung out with him a lot since I have been with Haechan.." I quickly got out my phone. Haechan looked over at me. 
"I am going to call WinWin, is that okay?" 
"Sure." He made a small nod. I stepped aside and decided to ring WinWin a call. I felt bad for seeming to ignore my friends. I took a big sigh. 
"Hello?" He picked up. 
"Oh hi!"
"Why are you calling, Y/N?" His voice cracked a bit. 
"Well, I wanted to see what you were up to?"
"Just laying in my bed, being lazy. I didn't really have anything to do tonight." He let out a laugh. "How about you? How's your time with Haechan?"
"Good." I felt bad because I didn't want it to seem like I have neglected him. "So, do you want to set up a time for us to catch up? Winter break has been crazy.." I let out a nervous chuckle. 
"I am cool with that.. I am always entertained by you and Haechan."
"No, I mean just me and you." 
"Oh? Why just us? I mean sure. That would be great." WinWin let out a big breath.
"I mean, I feel like I kind of neglected you and some of my friends, and I don't want to be that way, so I thought it would be nice to catch up!" I scratched my head.
"Of course!" WinWin's tone in his voice changed. "That sounds good..I'd be sure to let you know a good date." As he said that Haechan had popped up behind me. "We are going to head down the tower now." He whispered to me.
"I will see you then, then!" I told WinWin. 
"See you." WinWin hung up the phone. I felt like he was upset, but there was no way I could know for sure. I shrugged it off and followed Haechan down the tower. When we got to the bottom we looked around at the crowds of people.
We held our hands tightly. "Where do you want to go?" Haechan looked down at me. "Anywhere is fine." I made a quick smile and noticed Mark and Soojin standing beside me. "How about we get some food?" Haechan rubbed his stomach. 
"But, it's midnight." I squinted. 
"But, we are hungry." Haechan pouted. "Right?" He looked over at Mark and Soojin. They both nodded quickly. I took a big sigh. "Fine, fine. Whatever you may like, Hyuck. I will buy it!" I raised my fist. 
"Did you just call him Hyuck?"
"Yeah, Donghyuck is his real name." I looked over at him with a smile, I couldn't help but smile by hearing his name. I felt embarrassed. "Oh, I always thought Haechan was your real name." Mark shrugged. We started to walk to find somewhere to eat. "Is your real name Mark?" Haechan's turned his head towards Mark. 
"Yeah, duh." Mark seemed confused. 
"Oh, I was hoping it was like Lee or something." Haechan shrugged. 
"That's my last name." Mark's eyes widened. Haechan let out a gasp. "For real?"
"How did you not know that, bro?" Mark chuckled while scratching his head. 
"Wow. I just guessed." Haechan laughed. I smiled at both of them. We walked down the street, special tents were set up because of the event. There were many food booths. "Where do you want to go?" We looked around. There was a big tent with many tables and a grill. "How about there?" I pointed. We all nodded in agreement. 
As we were about to head over there, two people quickly walked in front of us, about to pass, but stopped in their tracks. They both caught my eye because of their bright hair colors. 
"Taeyong?" I gasped. Taeyong raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. "Y/N? I didn't know you all were here." Taeyong fixed himself. I looked down and noticed his arm was locked with Hani's. I looked over at her, a small glare from her passed by us. "I didn't know you two were a thing." Haechan started to laugh. 
"Yeah." Hani gave us a glare. 
"Hey!" Taeyong glared down at her. "You promised you weren't angry anymore." He whispered to her. "I am not." Hani was flustered. "I am just hungry, Taeyongie." Hani pouted. 
"Where are you guys headed?" Haechan asked. 
"Not sure." Taeyong shrugged. "We were about to head over there." Mark nudged to across the street.
"It's midnight and we are hungry. So." Haechan laughed and looked at me. "Want to go together?" I looked up at them. 
"Sure." They both nodded. We walked across to get seats under the tent. I was shocked that they were together. "I wonder what Taeyong did to change her mind..maybe she finally let go of her built of feelings and let herself love someone else.." I thought as we got the food delivered to the table. 
"So, how did you guys end up getting together?" Haechan asked them as he started putting meat on his rice. 
"Oh, we just drew closer to each other, and I guess I could say I won her over?" Taeyong laughed while brushing his hair back. 
"It's more than that." Hani looked down. "I also wanted to apologize for being a jerk to you." Hani rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She looked embarrassed. "Just forget about it." 
I let out a gentle laugh. "Don't worry about it." It was hard for me to fully forgive her, but I let it go since Taeyong was with her. I knew Taeyong would take good care of her because of how kind-hearted he really is. I smiled at both of them. I looked at Taeyong stuffing his face. I could tell he has grown, no matter what they had gone through. I knew he was strong, and I couldn't help but smile. Taeyong noticed me and the food almost dropped out of his mouth. "What're you staring at?" He glared. 
"Nothing." I giggled and kept my thoughts to myself. We all ate together and enjoyed the rest of the night. By the time we were done, I felt so tired. 
"Let's go home, my family is probably waiting for us." Haechan held onto my hand. "Right."
The laughs and enjoyment I had with them made me forget for a moment, but as I laid in my bed the thought ran around again. 
"Haechan is confusing me, what is he planning to do?" 

"As long as you're happy."





"Maybe I should go then." 





I suddenly woke up. I felt an odd feeling, so I quickly got up and left the room. Haechan's parents noticed I was awake. "Oh, you're awake! Haechan has something to tell you." His mother fiddled with her hands. I could tell something was off. She looked nervous. Haechan suddenly came out of his room, then turned to face me. A big smile came on his face. "I decided to go."
By what he said I felt my heart go deep. 
Was this what I wanted? I wanted him to stay, but I made a smile. "I am the one who told him to go...so it's good he's going.."
I looked down, then quickly made a nervous smile, trying to hide how I felt. "That's great! I am glad." I looked down again as he walked up to me. He had a gentle smile on his face. 
"This is what you want right?" He softly placed his hands on my shoulders. "Y-yeah! Of course!" I tried to show him my support. "If this is what you want, I will always support." 
I had a slightly disappointed feeling inside me. Maybe it was because I was hoping he would choose to stay here with me. 
"Yeah, you told me to go, so I am going." He nodded. I was confused by what he said.
"But, you are going because you want to, not just because I told you so, right?" I looked up at him.
"Well. yeah. Singing is what I want to do.. but," 
"Then, you should go." I made a small nod, but I could barely look at him. 
"You don't look very happy about it." Haechan made a small scuff. 
"No, I am happy for you! but, it's not about me being happy. It's totally you. Do what makes you happy. Not me." I looked further down, at my feet. I felt so many emotions. I felt a bit frustrated and I wasn't sure why. 
"Oh. So following my dream is going to make me happy? Don't you think there's something far greater than that?" Haechan's face turned, he had a serious tone.
"What could be? This is what I want, and if it's what you want then you should just do it." The way I was letting out these words, came out different than I had pictured. I was upset. 
"But, don't you think that there is something I'd rather have? It's not just about what I want." Haechan stuck his hands in his pockets.
I had noticed his parents had left the room. I was confused by what he was saying.
"Can't you just try to understand?" The glare he was giving me, I was scared. I never see him this why. 
"I just want you to do what makes you happy, it's simple. Follow your dream. Don't worry about me. I don't want to hold you back. Okay? So, you should just go and sing. Go live doing what you love. I told you, I just want to see your progress." I took a deep breath. I tightly closed my eyes. "You don't understand, that's things. You think you know what I want?" 
The sternness in his voice put a scary weight on my chest. 
"But,"  It seemed like Haechan was about to say something else, but he didn't. I looked up at him, his face looked sad. That moment I felt my heart start to sink. 
"Did I say the wrong thing?" 
"I leave in the morning, so I thought I'd tell you." He quickly scratched his head, then tried to smile. 
He quickly turned back around, with a stern face. He went back in his room.
"I am supporting him...what does he mean by greater than his dream?" I shook my head. "I don't want to hold him back." I quickly turned around and went back in the room. I was frustrated at myself. I upset Haechan. I said something wrong. I slowly closed the door behind me. "Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?" I took a deep sigh to myself. 
"Did we just..fight?" I kept talking to myself because I was scared. 
The truth is, I didn't want to be separated from him. Like how Soojin and Mark were. But, I didn't want to burden him with my feelings. I wanted him to do what he wanted to do.

The whole thing was just confusing. "I think we are both just confusing each other."
I decided to go meet up with WinWin tonight. I didn't see Haechan at all. It seemed like he was out of the house. As I was walking down the street, "Where could he be right now?" I shook my head. "He already made his decision, so I shouldn't be thinking about it." I told myself.
I made my way to the book store cafe that WinWin and I were meeting at. It was a small place. I looked around to see if I could find him.