Just Tell Me (Kili Fiction)

Chapter 8: Bully?

Kili came in a few minutes later and sat down next to me with a pile of food and then began to eat.... I never ever did eat the same way as the dwarves were told to eat. They were messy and rude for the most part but i was more polite like the elves. I'd been taught to but tonight, i made sure to toss back food in most ungrateful way. I managed to tuck away the bitterness i was feeling and focused on Bilbo's delectable food. The candles were let and the dwarves were screaming at the top of their lungs over the reunion between them all.

When he finished eating the two of us left the crowd and went to talk in the kitchen. Kili stood with broad shoulders across from me with a small smile slid on his cheeky face.

"How was the trip from Bree?" He leaned back on the counter. I feared that Thorin would find us and made a point to speak quietly. "Did you see Mr. Dule?"

"It went well, i saw only trees, dirt, rocks, water and mud on my journey- but not Mr. Dule, nor did i see his house witch did scare me for a while." I'd expected to see he large house, the brick stone surrounding the mansion and the birds nesting in his trees. However, i never saw the house i'd expected and i was nervous i travelled in the wrong direction.

"I knew you would be fine. You can handle yourself and i know it." He was just kind. A bland smile on his face and nothing between us anymore. Even though my stomach still had butter flies, he couldn't have felt the same. Then i remembered the frown Thorin had when Kili had shortly held me... The red creeping up my neck, quickly suppressed when i saw Thorin's bitter warning face. "Do you remember that time as children when Fili pushed you in a ditch and thought you would never escape?" Yes. I was scarred and angry... I lived shortly with the young boys long ago, then left, then were reunited, then left and now, reunited. "He really didn't like you then, but we were only 3. He left you there for a while, well, thats what he thought! You had climbed out after 10 minutes!" Kili exclaimed. I told them a lie, i actually had huddled in the deep corner until Balin had come to collect me... I remember his younger face that held me closely, the man you took the most care of me, all my life. Though, now i 'd forgotten to speak to the old dwarf... Guilt racked my mind and i was about to leave the scene to find him when i realized it would be rude to leave without giving a response.

"I do remember that! Why didn't Fili like me? Do you know?" I questioned with curiosity. The thought of Fili or rather anyone disliking me was disappointing and i realized he may not be the only one.

"He thought that you were taking me away from him and that i wanted to spend all my time with you and not him... I wouldn't leave him! Never! But, I wouldn't leave you either." He looked up from the floor and pushed him self on his way to walk over to me. I'd strayed a few feet... My heart then fluttered and i think a flowing heat crept up the side of my face, and my ears... They were hot to the touch instantly.

Then, he did something scary, i liked it but still, scary. He wrapped my hands in his and then gazed into my eyes and said, "I could never leave you." I felt the heat pf his hands holding mine and my eyes dropped to them... He hadn't forgotten me... He couldn't have. A slight smile spread on my lips.

"Thank you, Kili." I whispered, "thank you for your kindness all that time. Im thankful that you forgive me for leaving you." Its true i'd left that dwarves twice, wandering as often as i could... Its not that i never wanted to be around Kili, it was that there was so much of the world i hadn't seen...

Then, Bombur bursted through the door and screamed out, "woopdy doo!!!" My hands flying from Kili's remembering Thorin's tone.

"Bombur! Whats wrong with you!" I stomped to the side. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" I pressed my hand to my heart, hoping that the flush in my cheeks had died off.

Then suddenly Thorin bursted in behind him and i knew Kili was getting grabbed harshly by the arms and loudly whispered to. I just stood frozen, not expecting  the dwarf.

"I told you no!" He stormed out at Me! "You dont listen"!

I was terrified and Kili was mostly shocked too by being dragged off to the corner. He was in utter shock.

"Your making a scene." Kili whispered back.

Thorin the looked at me with cold eyes and did not speak.

"Uncle. Stop this!" Kili spoke loudly now.

"We spoke before!" Thorin responded.

"We were just talking! I meant nothing! I've never meant anything at all!" He was telling Thorin he never felt anything for me. I was only confused... That was all? He was just- just entertaining himself with my reactions?

I only scowled and I just walked away.. I then ran out of the whole's door until i reached a bridge...

I clasped for breath agains the rail and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't breath and i just stood with my back arched crying louder than ever before.... Im sure i was a state to see but i didn't care a bit. I was severely over reacting i knew, but the instant pain in my heart was so terrible...

About ten minutes later- but it felt like a year, Gandalf showed up with his hands behind his back and an unreadable expression.

He tried to place his hand on my shoulder but i just lurched forward.

"Do you want to know?" He questioned.About what?

I just sat there and said nothing. "I want to know everything. Yes." I squeezed out in between gasps.

"Fine. I can tell you... If your too much of a fool to see the obvious yourself..." I couldn't tell if he was joking.