Criminal Instincts : Seoul Nights | BTS ✓

6.6

M06; STATUS

LOCATION;
CLUB EUPHORIA

TARGET;
ㅡ

MISSION;
ㅡ

O N H O L D . . .

T H E
Q U E S T I O N

     SEOKJIN REGRETS MAKING Valentina watch. He regrets forcing her to sit down and watch him snort coke and fuck up his life. He doesn't know what came over his mind when he had grasped her wrist in his hand. All he knows is that he was reminded of Seojung at that moment.

Seojung had reacted exactly the way Valentina did when she had seen Seokjin do it. But Seokjin hadn't forced her watch him. He hadn't had time to. She had left without saying anything, or letting Seokjin speak.

As more thoughts fill his mind, he takes a gulp of whiskey, his throat burning, and his eyes tear up.

"Hyung, you okay?" Jungkook places a hand over Seokjin's shoulder, a worried expression on his face. 

Seokjin comes to present, startling out of trance he has fallen into. "Huh?" He turns to look at Jungkook, and blinks. Droplets of tears slide down his face. He wipes them off, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Jungkook looks at him for a few more moments, his brows furrowed, as if assessing his older friend. He looks away when Seokjin sips down the remaining whiskey, emptying his glass.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he places the glass on the table and gets up. Before anyone has the chance to ask where he's going, he's already on his way out of the private lounge.

I need to apologize to Valentina.

He opens the door, making his way out to the restroom.

She deserves better.

Dark thoughts wreak havoc in his mind. He feels a lump forming in his throat. Drugs usually calm his mind, but not today. Today, they're doing the opposite; his mind is going down the way he doesn't want it to.

I gave you my all. Wasn't it enough? He remembers screaming those words so loud that his throat had burned like someone had set it on fire. Only to get a humourless laugh in return and a cold gaze.

Why would I love someone like you? Nothing you do will ever be enough.

There's a dull throbbing in his head, that seems to be increasing by twofold each time a thought about her words crosses his mind. The fear he has locked tightly in a box at the back of his mind seems to have opened up like Pandora's box, and now all his mind is filled with is evil thoughts that remind him of past traumas.

He feels his heart beat increasing to a dangerous pace as his breathing rate increases. His chest is rising and falling so quickly, his throat has gone dry.

His eyes widen as realisation sets in.

Panic attack.

[ Trigger warning : description of a panic attack ahead.
I'll have a note like this to signal that the description has ended,
so you can read ahead if you decide to skip this paragraph. However, it's suggested (and safe) to just read the dialogues and the italics sentences which are thoughts to understand everything else better. ]