Life is a school.

First days of school

I'm Lilith. Most people hate their name, I don't. I feel like it's fitting. I once looked up what it means. In the Bible Lilith is the mother of demons or somethings like that. So it's just really me. Anyways my alarm goes on and this already annoying song comes on. I used to have my favorite song from Karg, an Austrian black metal band as my alarm. But first black metal is not the lightest way to wake up and after a week you will hate your favorite song and that's something I could not live with! So I chose a classic. Here comes the sun from the Beatles. I went with my fingers through my hair and I still feel a little bit smooshie from last nights joint. I get up and walk to my window, I open a small gap and sit down on this awkward sitting knot my mom gave me when we moved here. I grab my cigs from the little side table and lighten it on. While smoking my cig I take the opportunity to give some water to my plant. His name is Jonathan and even in the hardest times he stayed with me. It's my first day in school for a long time. We moved from a small city in Montana to Lake Worth in Florida, because my Dads Company wanted him to get the other position here in Palm Beach. So it's in the middle of the school year and I know nobody. What a perfect start. After I finish my cigarette, I throw on a simple Shirt thats about two sizes too big and combine it with some black sneakers. This is how I look almost everyday when it's not too cold. And even though it's like winter the temperature is quite high. So I get my bag and head straight to my car and drive to school. My parents and I do not have the best relationship so I tend to ignore conversations with them. My car was driven by my dad for about ten years but it's lovely. And it has a cassette player! So I put my favorite Cassette in the slot it says "Lili's favorite songs". My best Friend Jane made it for me when I turned 18 this October and it's filled with a bright mix from Mayhem to Pharao. I have quite a variety of genres but most of the time I listen to Metal and Russian music. I don't know why but I love their language, it just sounds so much more brutal. That's just very pleasing to me. I turn the volume up just like I want to stop my thought. I drive into the parking lot of the school and take a look around. My first class will be art. That's great I am an artist. At least I think so. I love to paint and draw and just create. And it's the only class where you are allowed to just listen to your own music and do what ever you like. The people all look very tanned, so I look in this crowd like a black sheep. I've always been really pale, in Montana that was no problem. But in a state like Florida?! I look like a freaking corpse! I take a seat next to a young man in the last row. His hair is dark brown and about shoulder length. He seems nice. His name is Rowan and he is very bad at drawing. We hadn't talked a lot but he took a look at my schedule and said that we have Physics and music together. Music is my last lesson for today so he offered me to guide me to it's room. This is quite pleasing so I agree to trust him. I don't want to sound weird, but I have a major trusting issue. Like what if he wants to rape me in the smoking corner or something?! He doesn't look like a rapist but just what if?! Again to avoid these thoughts it's time to turn up the music. So I take my Walkman out of my bag and put another Cassette into the slot. Rowan looks at my Walkman like it's some alien technology. "What?" I ask him. He stutters: "nothing it's just... I haven't seen these things since ages. Like I had an MP3 Player when I was 5 or 6." My eyes role: "it's not an MP3 player, it's a walk man. I don't like modern technology. This thing is 20 years old and it works just fine. So why buy a newer one?! And I can repair this thing by myself. Not like your phones, I don't need a 'genius' from the 'geniusbar' to fix it. I am my own genius." This sounded very rude, didn't it? Wow Lilith you ruined it again. In my mind I just clapped for myself. He looks at me and smirks: "you are really interesting. But at the same time so weird..." He just called me weird. Did I deserve it?! I don't know... But I'm just pretty confused and so tired.... My brain cannot focus yet. It is literally screaming for weed. Or at least a cigarette.
After class I go outside and search desperate for a smoking corner. I see this guy, tall, good looking and tattoos. Just my taste and he definitely looks like a smoker. I walk up to him and take my whole existing brave together and ask quite shy: "excuse me... I am new... where do I find a spot to smoke a cigarette?" My face starts to blush as he looks me into my eyes. But suddenly he starts to smirk. What does this winkly smile tell me? "Very tough to ask this a teacher!" He just answers. What?! This is not a teacher. Definitely, no this can't be possible! Like look at him! His grey hair that fades into a dark ash color on the spot of his shoulders. His face looks a little bit sad and he has a lot of Tattoos, one even on his forehead. He is dressed in dark colors and he is a very pale guy. He could never be a teacher! "You're kidding me right?" I ask him very shy. He just shakes his head: "I feel sad to disappoint you. I'm Mister Whitney, Music and Physics teacher. This is an anti Drug school so no smoking corner." In my mind my body hits a very hard rock bottom: "not even a secret one?" He looks at me and just starts walking and whispers in a low voice: "follow me." My whole world seems to turn. Normally I would never follow someone. Never. This is the moment to worry about getting raped I think. "You seem very desperate to smoke a cigarette." He just laughs. I smirk while kind of being awkward: "if I could I would put 5 of these Cancer Sticks into my god damn mouth at the same time. Everything that makes my appearance shorter in this world can make me a bit happier." - "Your need didn't appear that desperate. But here we are, perfect spot." We are in the school garden behind the Football-field. He offered me a cig and I happy take advantage of it: "thank you very nice of you." I smile, I know he would be cool. He just nods: "I'm always happy to help someone kill themself. And your name is?" I am kind of shook, but I like his sense of humor. "I am Lilith Ridley. I'm in my senior year and I just moved here with my Parents."

~thank you for reading this far. My english is not the best as I'm from Germany but I'm trying to make it in english as the majority is American or at least speaks english. I am open for recommendations and constructive hate~