Defeated (D.J.S)

You Never Know.

A/N: So this chapter is a little longer than normal, just so you know. Also, you can either just play this song for fun (because it's amazing) or you can wait until I put a note in saying to start it for the story! <3 Enjoy!

Blushing would have been okay I guess. But at this point I was as red as a tomato, more heat radiating off my face every single second that went by. I thought it was utterly embarrassing that I had done what I did. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have raced them ALL, when I just met them. Though winning was great, I was still shocked at my sudden burst of confidence. Thank goodness none of the boys noticed my embarrassment, as my head was down. I also wasn't very talkative after that.

Continuing on with life, we all piled into the van. After a lot of shouting, Corbyn was chosen to drive, Jonah in the passenger seat, and Daniel and I sitting in the middle seats. Jack and Zach took the back seats, despite a lot of arguing from Jack, not wanting to sit with the over-energized Zach.

After telling them the directions to the college, Corbyn started to drive out of the parking lot.

"So... Issa. I can call you that right?" Jonah asked from the passenger seat.

"Of course!" I replied, a little too chirpy.

"How long have you lived in California?"

"Just about a year and a half. I moved with my best friend, and we now room together near college."

"That's cool. We've been here for about 3 years now. Maybe we could show you and your friend some cool places some time." Jonah said. (let's just pretend we are in 2020).

"That'd be nice." I replied.

"What brought you to California?" Corbyn asked, stopping at a red light.

I froze. All the feelings I had locked up threatening to burst. I had let my walls down with these boys. All the pain came back. I wish he hadn't asked. I wish these feelings I had worked so hard to put away, hadn't come back from one question. Just when I thought things were getting better.

Why can't I just turn back time?

I can hear the screams. The horns. The horrible images are back in my brain. And this time I'm not sure if they are going to go away. It was all my fault.

My face drained of color, and my eyes started to water. My grip on the car door handle next to me tightened.

"Issa?"

"Isabel?"

"Isabel?!"

I took a few deep breaths. My almost tears, fading away. I just nodded, trying to compose myself again. 

Why did it have to be this way?

"I'm really sorry I asked." Corbyn said, regret all over his face in the rear view mirror.

"No. No it's alright. You didn't know." I whispered the last part.

Daniel gently places his hand over my other hand, which was not white from gripping a handle so hard.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Daniel asked softly, his face filled with concern.

I look at our hands. A weird feeling replacing the fear I had before.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm okay. Thank you." I say, although I was far from okay.

Daniel just nodded. Apparently he saw right through my lie, because he did not look one bit convinced.

As we continue driving, he makes no effort to move his hand, and I don't make an effort to take it off. It gave me a sense of. I'm not really sure. Comfort? Peace? Whatever it was, it was nice to feel comforted for once.