Part 16: Guilted

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I stare at the ceiling and try to think about literally anything else besides the pain in my body. Lauren had brought me around with smelling salts and she and Brunstetter had to record every detail I could muster up from the night before. They took swabs of my arse and sex and examined the bruising bite mark on my breast as well as the fractured ribs. They took notes on the tape marks that had been left behind from it being too tight around my hands and face. They recorded the rope burn on my ankles and the hand prints on my arse and the bruise on my cheek from where that fucker punched me. What made it worse was when the police came in to get the same statement from me. They informed me that the gate to my backyard was busted, they found a condom near my back door- they have a DNA sample at least from one of those fuckers- as well as how my upstairs has water damage due to my over flowing tub. I feel humiliated and sickened by this whole thing. They informed me that it was Max who found me.

Bloody Fucking Perfect!

I told Lauren I didn't wish to see him. It's not that I blame him. I don't. It's not his fault two men broke into my house and raped me and stole my shit. However, his attitude last night doesn't help mine today. I don't know why he was mad at me yesterday, but it makes very little difference to me. I'm angry. I'm upset. I don't want to see him or his pathetic apologetic face. I don't want to hear him blaming himself or threatening to kill the arseholes when they are found. I want to be left alone. I don't want this embarrassment to continue.

"Hey?" Fucking perfect. Iggy.

"Please not now." I beg him and groan as I try to adjust myself in the bed. My whole body hurts and it just makes me even more angry.

"Helen, it's protocol that I..."

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PROTOCOL! GET OUT!" I yell and his eyes widen. He nods nervously and leaves me be. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed to be in this situation. I feel violated and I hate that. I hate this vulnerability. I hate that more than half the hospital is going to know about this fucking bullshit. Why me? Why the fuck does this kind of shit happen to me- just when I think my life is good. I told Lauren the other shoe would drop and it fucking did. It may not have been directly because of Max- but a shoe dropped regardless and I rather be dead at this time than face all the pathetic people who put on a facade of care and concern just so they appear to give a shit about me!

I try to figure out who those two fuckers were. The taller one's name is Jack apparently- based on what the tiny man called him. The tinier guy had a skull tattoo on his forearm. Jack had a birthmark on his leg. Who the fuck are they? And how do they know me? More importantly- why target me? They had obviously been staking out my place for a while if they knew I was sometimes there with Max and sometimes not. How long had they been watching me? We're they just looking to rob me or was this a more dastardly plot to ruin my fucking life?

Whatever the answers- I may never know. They did a good job of not leaving any prints behind. Their only fuck up was the condom on my patio. But that'll only pin one of them. They took my gun. So unless they stupidly use it in a crime, the won't get caught either way, because they'd trace the bullet back to me and not them.

"Hey, sweetie..." Lauren comes in and shuts the door. "Hungry? I have pudding and some fruit. You love pudding and fruit."

"I'm not hungry." I drone and she sets it down in front of me anyway.

"I know. But you still need to eat." I look at her and she's even pathetic right now. I'd rather her be a bitch than overly kind and caring. It's just insulting.

"Iggy tried to come in. I kind of yelled at him." She sucks in her lips and frowns.

"I know. He came out kind of paler than normal. I think he's probably crying in his office. You know he doesn't handle being screamed at very well." I feel bad. Iggy's father was always yelling at him for being gay and just himself. His father was relentless and it's had a lasting impact on Ig.

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