Relationship With My Best Friend

Chapter 20.

It's such a surreal feeling; laying here looking up at the ceiling while my best friend cleans me up with a towel. Of the many things I expected to happen within my lifetime, this surely was not one of them. I have yet to decide how I truly feel about it either, there's too much to think about. 

Jeremy. My friendship with Caleb. Caleb himself. Hardin. 

How this is going to effect everyone around me really shouldn't be the first thing on my mind considering what has just happened, but I can't help it. I am already a highly anxious person and this has proven to increase that. 

And then, as if a saving grace has fallen from the sky and straight into my numb arms, Caleb's phone begins to ring. A breath I didn't realize I was holding escapes my mouth and he looks up at me. Without a word, he grabs his phone out of his pocket and walks out into the hallway.

Thank you lord.

It takes me only a few seconds to sit myself up and put my clothes back on. I try my best to fix my hair, but it is untamable right not. My lips are swollen and my cheeks have a deep pink tint while my eyes are glossy and dilated. I look nothing like myself, but also myself at the same time. 

I feel amazing. 

What seems like only a few minutes later, Caleb walks back into the room where his eyes immediately find me. I await the words that he is about to speak as I try my hardest to pay attention and not look as high as I feel currently. 

"I have to go," he says; certainly not what I expected. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," I respond, my voice quiet from the slight shock I am experiencing. I am not exactly upset that he is leaving - lord knows I am in no state to have any sort of conversation right now - but I wasn't expecting the cold attitude. 

The way he walks out of my bedroom door leaves me feeling strange, almost a sense of uncertainty like I don't know what to do with myself now. Deciding that a shower is well needed and may just help my vague feelings, I decide to strip back out of my clothes and get into the cool water.

I am still as hot as ever and the cool water instantly relaxes my muscles and running mind. While I wash up, I can't help but look down at my body and remember ever portion of my body that Caleb touched, kissed and licked. The encounter as a whole was the best of my life and will forever be etched into my mind as just that. 

The fantasy of the two of us is nothing compared to the real thing. The boy is a god in his own right and I have no clue where he's gotten it from. This leads me to think about just how many girls Caleb Mathews has successfully seduced; probably even made feel the way he did me. The thought makes me want to throw up so I immediately stop those pesky thoughts. 

I don't know where Caleb has gone, and when I check my phone for the first time in a few hours, he hasn't texted me. No, he hasn't, but someone else has and that would be Jeremy Hale. An overwhelming sense of guilt invades me and I have to sit down on my bed and close my eyes to keep myself from succumbing to those awful thoughts. While Jeremy and I may have not been completely exclusive, we were very close to being so, and doing what I have done with Caleb makes me feel dirty. Whether it would be considered cheating in the eyes of others or not, it feels that way to me. 

Jeremy: hey babe! just wanted to see what you were up to :) hope you're having a good day

Alcohol to the wound right there. In no way do I regret the past two nights I have had with Caleb, but the way I have gone about it - possibly hurting Jeremy in the process - is the part that bugs me. I am not the type to cheat, always thought it was the most immoral thing you could possibly do, yet here I am.